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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ThePunkAlien Offline
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Arrow What television/film character are you most like? - June 10th 2009, 04:55 AM


Figured I'd start up this thread. I'm willing to say everyone has a character that stands out as hitting close to home for them whether it's in a television series, or film, hollywood, or indie, live action and even - animation.

So, what character are you most like? Note: doesn't need to be as detailed as the below, it kinda morphed into a 'rant' of sorts...


Personally, I'm a lot like Connor Angel - from the television series 'Angel.'

Character: Connor spent the majority of his life growing up in a hell dimension after being stolen away as a baby. After finding a way out of Quor'Toth, now Steven, Connor returns to kill Angel, his biological father. After a failed attempt, he's kicked out and starts going by his real name - Connor. He believes that he's a mistake, a child of two vampires, who was never meant to be and holds Angel as the reason his life sucks. Overall, Connor's broken, easily agitated, and only wants to find his place in the world while fearing that he may be connected to the beast and going through a turbulent relationship with his birth father. However, his adoptive father, he holds in high esteem and regard.

Reason: I'm an adoptee, despite having good adoptive parents - I grew up, more or less, in a hell dimension. I was constantly ridiculed in school, plagued with self doubt, almost killed someone in order to save someone, and witnessed a woman being stabbed while holding my Mom back and staring the killer in the eyes. I couldn't risk losing her too. Needless to say, the next stage in my life is an escape from this hell dimension - ironically also to Los Angeles and going by my birth name.

I'm easily agitated and overall my life sucks, with only a few moments when good things happen. I despise my birth father, although I've never met him, and blame him for the way my life is now. If he never ran off, maybe in that alternate universe my life may have been better - I wouldn't have come close to killing someone at fifteen which has stained my whole existence. In a way, that's where I fear what side may be my nature and that the dark side could be my birth father. I've even started to throw jabs and punches at an invisible opponent believing it to be him. Everyone fears becoming their parents, I dread becoming him - yet, oddly, I still want to meet him.

I'm kinda a dark loner trying to find his place in the world after being born from a mistake. I believe I got the lone wolf instincts from him, the constant feeling like I can just take off and never look back while having sex with random women along the way. Plus that one time I almost killed someone, it's like I became someone else and it was way too easy (in the end, ironically the person I went in to save helped talk me back and saved me.) These thoughts have come so many times that I think that's somewhere inside me, in my blood, that that's what I could become if I lose my way. It scares me.

I've always hid this side from my adoptive parents. I don't want them to see how messed up I am from something that's inside of me that I could never define. I've been battling these 'instincts' my whole life, especially as a young adult, and trying to put them to use for good rather than bad - protecting people rather than harming them. There's also the possibility that that's just the negative side of the protector instinct and my father may have been more of an anti-hero and he could teach me how to be like him... I know, it's complicated-

The one and only thing I want to do is make my life mean something. Oddly, the only reason my life seems to be taking off is because I am so screwed up - it's my fuel, my motivation, going from nothing to something. Basically, as the super hero slogan goes - it's my gift, my curse, who am I? Well, I'm stilling trying to know.

Whether or not my biological father and I will have as rough a connection as Angel and Connor remains to be seen. All I know is from the signs I've been getting, there is going to be some kind of 'atonement with the father' in my future. Perhaps within the next year.


"I know how that feels. Not knowing why you're here, what your place is in this world."

"You're the reason that the sun is gone, that I don't have a home to go back to. You're the reason that she— It's you. You're the reason my life sucks."

"You don't know anything, Dad, except how to take things away from me. Nothing in this world is the way it ought to be. It's harsh and cruel, because of you! It's your fault. It's all your fault."

"I'm not - I wasn't a demon - I'm not a demon... I mean, why— Why do I— Cordy, I don't even know what I am."

"Jasmine, she's bringing peace to everyone, purging all of their hate and anger. But not me. Not me! I know she's a lie. My whole life's been built on them. I just... I guess I thought this one was better than the others."

ANGEL: Don't run away from me, alright? I lost you once already. There's just so much I wanna know, so much I need to know. You been okay? I mean - what was it like there? - Did you have any friends Okay, I mean, not friends. It's not like you were at summer camp. I mean, you were stuck in a hell dimension. Connor, I'm so sorry. I tried to get you back. I did. I tried to come after you. I would have done anything. I just... I couldn't find a way in.
CONNOR: I found a way out.
ANGEL: Yeah. You did. You sure did. I should've tried harder. I shouldn't 've quit. But you're back. And that's what's important, you know? You came back to me. I wanna know everything, son. I wanna know everything. Everything about you, you know, what your life's been like? You - must have a million questions.
CONNOR: My father told me everything.
ANGEL: Your father? Holtz isn't your father. He's...
CONNOR: You don't get to say that name! You don't even get to think it!
CONNOR: I didn't feel anything! I can't feel anything. I guess I really am your son... 'cause I'm dead, too.
ANGEL: You're not dead. You're just starting your life and—
CONNOR: No, you just weren't there before!
ANGEL: I know. I'm so—
CONNOR: Do not say you're sorry! Doesn't fix anything.
ANGEL: Ok, look, let me say this. I love you, son.
CONNOR: It's a lie.
ANGEL: It's not.
CONNOR: It's always a lie. My dead mother couldn't even love me.
ANGEL: You're wrong. She did.
CONNOR: No. She knew she couldn't.
ANGEL: She sacrificed herself because she loved you.
CONNOR: You tried to love me. At least I think you did.
ANGEL: I still do.
CONNOR: But not enough to hang on, dad. You let him take me. You let him get me. You let him get me!
Stated regarding Connor:

"Pain has been the only constant in your life, the one thing that has never abandoned you. You think that pain is yours to keep and bear alone. But it's not."

Last edited by ThePunkAlien; June 10th 2009 at 06:24 AM.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
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Re: What television/film character are you most like? - June 13th 2009, 03:43 AM

Wow. What a powerful story. I'm sorry about all that has happened to you in your life, and I hope that, wherever you go and whatever you do in the years to come, you'll be able to find peace.

I guess it's my turn? I don't watch too many television shows... I simply don't have the time these days. But this character has really reached out to me. The show itself is... not of the highest quality, but for once, I think I can truly relate to a fictional character.

Character: Jerry Kellerman
Mark-Paul Gosselaar; Show: Raising the Bar)

The first word that comes to mind whenever ANYONE watches this show has got to be underdog. He's a defense attorney... not the most glamourous or respectable of jobs, as everyone assumes that you've got to be a bad person if you're willing to defend criminals. Jerry, however, seems to have the uncanny luck of picking up innocent individuals, and he fights like HECK for them. He has an incredible sense of justice, and because he's seen the flaws in the judicial system, he's rarely in a good mood when with friends. You always get the sense that he would be an awesome person to hang out with... if only he wasn't so pessimistic. Then again, he's got every reason to be.

There are many reasons why I decided to become a psychology major. The big reason, of course, is that I want to HELP PEOPLE. I want to help those with severe mental disorders... people who can no longer live normal lives, whose family members and friends have all but given up on them due to the emotional turmoil. I am surrounded by many beautiful and intelligent college students, people who have the potential to change the world for the better... most of my friends are Christians, so they want to reach out to the "forsaken". Or so they say. I always feel like, when it comes down to it, the most they're willing to do is feed the homeless. Don't get me wrong, it's a very noble thing to do. But when they encounter individual cases... "criminals"... "sinners"... it seems like their goodwill only extends so far. Sure, they are willing to tell them all about God, and they never come off as judgemental... but they've distanced themselves. They're not there to listen, and in reality, they ARE judging. They want to save their souls, not their lives, their minds, their relationships with others. I feel like I'm the only one who is willing to "get my hands dirty". I love my role as a counselor, and being a Christian has nothing to do with that.

Last edited by PSY; June 13th 2009 at 03:53 AM.
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