Finally Some Relief!!

[BlueWolf]

Okay, so the past few weeks have been hell. Moving was tough, dealing with my mom is always tough, especially lately as she's been getting onto me about sleeping too much and eating too little. Leaving my friends was hard, and college is coming. Me and my shyness is petrified over it, but ya know what? I could go on forever about all the disappointments, but there are a few good things that have occured that have offered me some relief.

Firstly, my friend is going to the same college as me and we get to be roommates. I am sooooo RELIEVED. I hate meeting new people, and I always feel sick trying to talk to them. I'm horrible at it, but with her there, I will have a bit more confidence. I'm still nervous about going, and staying with her, but I'd rather it be someone I know than a stranger who could kill me in my sleep.

Secondly, I finally told my therapist about me being a therian, and about my spirit animal. To my surprise... SHE'S AN OWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S SOOO COOL!!!!! Ugh, that really helps the tension when I go to talk to her now!! I won't feel so stupid for slipping up when I'm trying to hide things. Wow, how lucky could I have gotten???? Lucky things never happen to me, but they did then! YES!!!!!!

Thirdly, I've been feeling sick ever since the move, which happened to be when I started my new medication. I quit taking it, and ta-da! No more sickness. It wasn't helping anyway, even after a few weeks. I see the doctor soon, so I figured it would be fine to stop taking it. Now I don't have to feel sick to my stomach.

Fourthly, my truck had been having issues and broke down. My mom and I have no jobs and are unable to pay to fix it. My aunt found out and told my grandparents who... today bought me a new car. They had to send the salesperson to another state to get a color they knew I would like, and are having it brought to me, already paid for. even though I cannot rely much upon my mom, and especially my dad who has deserted me.... I know there IS someone out there helping me. This relief is huge.

Fifthly, before all of this took place, I was desperately wanting to kill myself. It was all I could think about. All that I wanted. I won't go into details, but I was also feeling like since I moved and my friends and I are all going to college, that I was losing them. They are all changing and leaving me. This is heart crushing because I am very attached to a certain few of them. I don't like trusting people and once I find someone I like and can trust even to a certain extent, I stick to them like glue. Yet, the one of my two best friends, the one I grew up with, sent me a message telling me how much she missed me and loved me, and that I was her bff and she wanted to see me. Ever since, the thought of suicide has not entered my mind. I keep reminding myself of that message and I cry.


Now... I hope this luck continues and I can find a job!

[Thirteen]

Good that things are going well for you, Jessica!

It's great that you and your therapist can get along on a different level than usual, and I'm sure you'll do great in college, too!

[MegaMadness]

Glad to hear thats are going okay at the moment.

[Imagine]

Glad things are going well for you Jessica.