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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy Opening up and sharing with my parents and other people - October 17th 2012, 08:27 PM

Generally I have always been the kind of person who keeps things to myself with the exception of a friend or two and my non-official boyfriend. But lately I had been having suicidal thoughts and last Sunday it became so terrible I finally had to tell my mom. She stayed up with me almost all night until I fell asleep and she was sure I wasn't going to kill myself.
The next day our Pastor came over and I completely opened up and shared everything with them. I've never been completely open with anyone and right now it's really hard. My mind is my sanctuary and sharing my inner most thoughts with people has always made me feel very violated and upset.
So here's where I am currently, I'm torn between being entirely open with my mom despite how uncomfortable it is or keeping things to myself as I am so used to. I have significant trust issues and I hate my dad so I don't like telling him things. (So you know I do have have legit reasons to hate him however this isn't the time and place to describe why) but my mom shares my personal stuff with him which I don't like. I just don't know what to do. And I've been fretting over this like crazy these last days which make my anxiety come back along with the suicidal thoughts. Please help and I hope I've made sense.
   
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Re: Opening up and sharing with my parents and other people - October 19th 2012, 07:54 PM

Hey there,

I'm sorry that you're having trouble telling your mom some things, I think that's something a lot of teens struggle with, myself included. I always thought my parents wouldn't understand and such. I think you should give some more thought to telling her what you're going through, I think she really wants to help, since she stayed up with you to make sure that you were okay. If you're worried about her telling your dad something, ask her if she wouldn't tell him because of how you feel. If you don't tell your mom, she's not going to know how to help you. If you still don't feel like opening up to her, try your pastor again and maybe bring up that you're having a hard time talking to her, or you could talk to someone like your doctor or a teacher from school or a counselor as well.

I hope that I helped a bit, if you ever want to talk, feel free to send me a message! Stay strong


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Re: Opening up and sharing with my parents and other people - October 20th 2012, 10:13 PM

Hi,

I really know how hard it is to keep everything trapped inside of you and never tell anyone how you're truly feeling. I've been doing the same thing for years, and no one knows how worried and confused and depressed I am. Like you, I'm torn between keeping it to myself because that feels safer and telling someone what's going on so that I might be able to heal. Honestly, I really think you should trust your mom. Maybe sit down and have an honest conversation with her about how you would like her to keep the things you tell her confidential, and then explain everything that's making you feel depressed and suicidal. I can tell that she loves you and cares about you, and I really think you can trust her. If she does end up telling your dad things that you wanted her to keep secret, or if you're just not comfortable talking to her, I think you should go to someone else - a friend, a teacher, a counselor, a grandparent, somebody from your church...someone you can help you figure everything out. But please, talk about this with a person you trust.

Good luck and I'm sure everything will work out!







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Re: Opening up and sharing with my parents and other people - October 21st 2012, 07:23 AM

It definitely is normal for a person to experience a bit of nerves when trying to tell someone something, but know that is for the best. Try to think of all the potential benefits that will come from you reaching out, such as getting the help that you deserve and being happy.

I know that it can be uncomfortable talking to your mom, but she does love and care about you and I bet she would want to see you getting help. But to do that, she needs to know how she can help. You can even ask your mom not to tell your dad but instead keep the support between you two.

You can also talk to your pastor, a doctor, a teacher, or a school counselor. These people are all there to look out for you and would be more than willing to help support you through this. They're good, unbiased listeners and once you are ready can even set up a meeting with your mom to help you discuss.

One thing you can do is write what you want to say in the form of a letter that you hand to the person, because this way nerves and interruptions aren't in the way but you can still say what you need to say and get help.

I wish you the best!


   
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