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Red face Boyfriend invited me to Christmas dinner...? - November 12th 2012, 06:19 PM

My boyfriend says I am welcome to come along to Christmas dinner with him and his family this year, I would like to go...but I'm worried about my mum getting annoyed.

I'm the only child and she hasn't got a boyfriend. We'll probably be having dinner at my nanny's house this year but I'm entirely sure yet. I don't want to leave her alone at Christmas, but I would like to see him at some point on Christmas Day (if possible anyway). We are both 19 years old, so we are adults, but my mum is hard to please and might get a bit moany about this (just the way she is normally *sigh* ), which I want to avoid if possible.

Maybe I could see if I could just go down to his after dinner to give them their presents? Any suggestions?
   
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Re: Boyfriend invited me to Christmas dinner...? - November 13th 2012, 05:38 AM

All I can say is that you shouldn't limit your life to suit that of your mother. She has friends, and so do you. You are an adult and she needs to give you a little respect, she should want what is best for you and I honestly don't think that having dinner with your boyfriend on such a nice occasion is too much to ask. It's one day and it would mean a lot to the both of you if you could go. Surely she can find someone to have a nice day with, even if it is Grandma lol.
   
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Re: Boyfriend invited me to Christmas dinner...? - November 13th 2012, 09:35 PM

Hey there!

My husband and I went through this debate quite a bit with holiday dinners (we've been together for almost 8 years). Both of our families live in the same town (in the same neighborhood, even), and hubby wanted to spend time with his family and I wanted to spend time with mine. We came up with this solution:

For Thanksgiving, we had dinner at my house and then went over to his Nana's house for dessert with his family. The following year, we switched and did dinner with his family and dessert with mine.

For Christmas, his family's gathering usually doesn't end up being on Christmas Day, but a few days before, but we did do the same kind of thing with spending time with both families. One meal with one family, one meal or dessert with the other. It saved arguments, we both got to feel like we were part of each other's family (which was important, especially when we got engaged). This year will be different because we've moved 5-6 hours away from our hometown (thank you, US Navy). His family is planning on coming to visit us over the Christmas holiday, and we're hoping we'll be able to go back home to visit my family at some point as well.

I've found that it's all about compromise when you're in a relationship, and that compromise does include dealing with each other's family sometimes. Perhaps you can do a Christmas Eve celebration with your family and a Christmas Day celebration with his?


“Don't get too comfortable with who you are at any given time. You may miss the opportunity to become who you want to be." ~Jon Bon Jovi

   
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