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I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 12:32 AM

I am so sorry to everyone i have hurt or lied to . i had promised myself i would stop i really would but i just keep doing it and doing it if everyone i was talking to can please talk to me again i'd really appreciate it please?


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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 12:48 AM

Hey, Jen.

Whenever you feel like lying, why don't you start to try and become aware of it? Realize it and just stop yourself before you do it? It could contribute each time you stop yourself. You can do it.

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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 12:56 AM

i want to but for some reason i just cant...


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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 01:19 AM

heey, whats wrong ? i was talking to you


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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 01:22 AM

im sorry..............................


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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 01:31 AM

Honestly Jen, I'm going to be forward here. You can't keep lying then apologizing, expecting that to fix everything. You can only apologize so many times for the same mistakes. You're human, you'll make mistakes. It happens. But you have to LEARN from them. You don't seem to be learning from yours. If you think you're a pathological liar, you may seriously want to consider getting help. But lying & apologizing will not get you anywhere. Think about what you're lying about & WHY you're lying about it. Most of the time, there is no reason to lie at all, unless as I've mentioned, you're a pathological liar.

It's great that you're being honest NOW, but you have to learn to stop lying. Apologizing for lying all the time won't fix anything if you're not trying to improve.



   
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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 01:37 AM

Agreed with Barb here.

Maybe before you say something what you can do is take a step back and evaluate it. It may take time to stop and think before saying something, but if you at least start trying to do that you can review what you are saying and ask yourself if it is the whole truth or a lie. If it's a lie, don't say it because constantly apologizing can end up upsetting users and there are only so many times that our users will accept these apologies. You don't need to lie to make friends here or have support.


   
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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 01:50 AM

I agree with them, there is only so many times someone can forgive you for doing the same thing over and over.
   
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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 07:04 AM

sorry im going to have to agree, but what are you saying sorry about


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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 12:14 PM

Jen, might I point out that in your last apology thread you promised to never lie again?

I know some people like to lie to seek attention and make their lives seem more exciting than they are, but eventually those lies will snowball and you won't be able to manage them.

Every time you lie on here, I lose some respect for you. There's a thing called an emotional bank, where in a relationship there is a certain amount of invested trust, and you can take out some patience and trust when you lie, but then you must put some reason to be trusted back in the bank, or else you will be bankrupt.

What I'm saying is, I'm not sure that I forgive you, but at the same time I'm not really following what you've been lying about.



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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 01:19 PM

I'm as confused as most about this thread. The fact that you've bothered posting a thread to apologise for past misdemeanors indicates that you have some grasp of their affect on others and also some understanding that you, and you alone, are solely responsible.

If you consider yourself to be a pathological liar, then you need to concentrate on dealing with that, either on here (if there's anywhere to go) or outside of here by finding professional help.

Like a majority who've answered, exactly which subject are you apologising for? Personally you've never crossed me so I'm in no position to forgive anything, but there's only so far you can push other people before they will give up on you. Sorry to be so frank but I don't tend to piss about when I need to express something.


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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 03:19 PM

Jen,

I know that your lying has had an effect on other users negatively. Like others' said, there is only so much time before we lose respect and trust for you.

Why do you lie? If it's for attention, then try to get attention in a more positive way. You could do something nice for other people, get good grades, etc.

What happens, if perhaps one day you really need help? And you can't get it because you've lied so much? It's like the boy who cried wolf.

You know you need to stop lying, so make it a fresh start.


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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 03:33 PM

What she said ^^


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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 04:04 PM

Like I said in another thread in the Mental Health or Addictions forum a few days ago, lying gets you nowhere. It's deceitful and hurtful. You're hurting the people surrounding you the most, you're making them lose trust, faith and respect in you. You want to be liked here and to have real friends, be truthful. No room for arguments or slip-ups, be truthful through and through.
   
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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 04:09 PM

I agree with what the others have said. I might want to add, I'd like to know what you're lying about, what is true and what isn't. I haven't given up on you, but knowing what part is the lies I can maybe better understand your situation. I also want to agree with finding a positive way for getting attention. But it's like any emotion as anger, frustration etc, you shouldn't take it out on people and find another outlet that is less harmful to yourself and others. Like always, feel free to VM/PM me or talk in chat I'm still here for you, okay?
   
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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 04:22 PM

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Originally Posted by Gryffindor94 View Post
I agree with what the others have said. I might want to add, I'd like to know what you're lying about, what is true and what isn't. I haven't given up on you, but knowing what part is the lies I can maybe better understand your situation. I also want to agree with finding a positive way for getting attention. But it's like any emotion as anger, frustration etc, you shouldn't take it out on people and find another outlet that is less harmful to yourself and others. Like always, feel free to VM/PM me or talk in chat I'm still here for you, okay?
I agree with Susan. If you're going to start fresh then you should tell us everything from the start. Tell us who you are. Because right now, it seems as though we don't know the real Jen.


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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 07:37 PM

thanks everyone this time i am going to try to stop for good


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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 08:04 PM

Why are you thanking us? Most of us seem irked and confused about the whole thing.

What did you lie about this time?

And no, one can't simply "try" to stop lying so much, because "trying" allows for failure. Either you do or you don't, yes? This is an online community. I understand lying in the "real world", but why lie to strangers online? Nobody can judge you for the truth, so there's no need to make up outrageous or inflated stories to make your life different than it is.



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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 08:08 PM

for forgiving me


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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 09:07 PM

Nnnno... I did not say that.

I asked what you lied about. You can't be blindly forgiven if you're not stating what you did "wrong".



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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 09:38 PM

for lying about me trying to commit suicide


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Re: I am so sorry - April 24th 2013, 09:53 PM

You had no reason to lie about that. No reason at all. Think about that the next time you consider lying & stop yourself from doing it. Lies can be a big problem, especially when they're as serious as the one you told.



   
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Re: I am so sorry - April 25th 2013, 08:45 AM

I would just like to add about the story about the boy who cried wolf. A boy lived in a village where there was a wolf and day after day after day after he would run into the village yelling WOLF WOLF WOLF the villagers would all run and try to help him to only discover that there was no wolf. Now one day he yelled WOLF WOLF WOLF when there was a actually a wolf but because he had cried / yelled wolf so many times in the past and there was no wolf, this time the villagers thought he was just saying wolf to make them all run, this time there was a wolf and the wolf got him at ate him.

The point in that story ? If you keep lying everyone will loose trust in you, and when you do tell the truth no one will know if its the truth or not and may not even reply or help you because they are unsure if its the truth or not.

This is a site built on trust. Most of us on here already have trust issues. Now you're welcome on this site but constantly lying to us, lying to us about serious issues and things is going to get you no where and people will start question if what you are telling them is true or if it is a lie and this can limit the amount and the quality of help you get here on Teen-help.

So all we ask is for you to stop lying to tell the truth.



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Re: I am so sorry - April 25th 2013, 10:30 PM

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for forgiving me
Only one or two people seemed forgiving, key word being seemed, because I can't be too certain if they actually forgave you or not. The rest didn't take the news too well.

As for me, I'm siding with those who aren't as forgiving and are either completely confused and/or upset. It may make me a hypocrite, but experience has taught me well. So having learnt the lesson (which I don't think you have), it makes me see from their perspective and I can sympathize with them.
   
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Re: I am so sorry - April 25th 2013, 10:55 PM

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I agree with what the others have said. I might want to add, I'd like to know what you're lying about, what is true and what isn't. I haven't given up on you, but knowing what part is the lies I can maybe better understand your situation. I also want to agree with finding a positive way for getting attention. But it's like any emotion as anger, frustration etc, you shouldn't take it out on people and find another outlet that is less harmful to yourself and others. Like always, feel free to VM/PM me or talk in chat I'm still here for you, okay?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heavenly Bliss View Post
Only one or two people seemed forgiving, key word being seemed, because I can't be too certain if they actually forgave you or not. The rest didn't take the news too well.

As for me, I'm siding with those who aren't as forgiving and are either completely confused and/or upset. It may make me a hypocrite, but experience has taught me well. So having learnt the lesson (which I don't think you have), it makes me see from their perspective and I can sympathize with them.

It's kind of hard to say whether I forgive you or not, I'm on two sides with this to be honest. On one hand I tend to be loyal, very loyal with friends. And no, I didn't give up on you. But I don't want you to think I'll be okay with you doing it again. I don't want you to take advantage of that but instead use it as a motivation, because you do have support. Suicide is something serious and lying about it can lead to many emotions in me. I mean, obviously if it's a psychological thing, I don't think it's fair to be harsh on you, but I think you should find out and get professional help if necessary. See, that's something you CAN do to improve.

I guess that's to say, I'm still your friend, but I'm also upset with you. I know you said you're sorry, but I want to see genuine attempt to change before I can get close to you again. For now I'm still here for you, but for myself I'll have to be more careful and aware of things.
   
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Re: I am so sorry - April 26th 2013, 05:29 AM

http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f32-c...5778-im-sorry/


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Re: I am so sorry - April 26th 2013, 01:30 PM

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Originally Posted by PerfectlyImperfect View Post


It seems like you've been aware of your lying before now. So uhm, how about talk to someone when you have the urge to lie instead of actually saying the lie? I mean say it's about suicide, instead of saying things in that way, maybe discuss what triggered you to lie? I don't know, I'm no professional, it's a mere suggestion.
It's just that all summer someone's been doing the same thing you are doing almost everyday to me and I have a lot of anxiety from that. I also believed it each time. It's hard to continue being forgiving since it's triggering to me. But enough about me. It would help you a lot I think to find out what makes you want to lie. If it's similar to an addiction I would imagine that there are things that make it better or worse. So try getting to know that better. And I stick to what I said before, it's important to see someone who knows this about this, as in seeing a professional.
   
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Re: I am so sorry - April 26th 2013, 02:08 PM

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Originally Posted by Gryffindor94 View Post
It seems like you've been aware of your lying before now. So uhm, how about talk to someone when you have the urge to lie instead of actually saying the lie? I mean say it's about suicide, instead of saying things in that way, maybe discuss what triggered you to lie? I don't know, I'm no professional, it's a mere suggestion.
It's just that all summer someone's been doing the same thing you are doing almost everyday to me and I have a lot of anxiety from that. I also believed it each time. It's hard to continue being forgiving since it's triggering to me. But enough about me. It would help you a lot I think to find out what makes you want to lie. If it's similar to an addiction I would imagine that there are things that make it better or worse. So try getting to know that better. And I stick to what I said before, it's important to see someone who knows this about this, as in seeing a professional.
Agreed. You took the first step (in other threads) about acknowledging you have a problem. Now you have to take the next step and tell your parent, or guardian. Now that you see the problem, you have to take the steps to fix it; to make being honest with us a reality. It's like, if you had a broken leg would you go to the hospital, or leave it be? It's the same thing with a mental illness: you'd get treatment. If you haven't told an adult in your life, don't be afraid to.

I noticed you stopped replying to your thread


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