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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 22nd 2016, 04:59 PM

I see a lot of people saying that the teen years were the worst part of their life but for me I don't think its so bad. How do you or how did you feel?
   
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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 22nd 2016, 05:11 PM

My teen years were really rough and that's when I developed an eating disorder. I honestly hated my teen years until about 17-18. But that is me because I was going through a really hard time.


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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 22nd 2016, 06:45 PM

There were parts I liked, but I hated most of it. When I was a teenager I went through puberty while being trans, realised I wasn't straight while living in a religious environment, lived at home with a rocky relationship with my parents and a sister with behaviour problems, went through depression anxiety and an eating disorder, had several different attempts at therapy that were all awful, was in an abusive relationship, was bullied at school, attempted suicide... yeah it wasn't so fun.

But I also completed my Gold duke of edinburgh award, visited France, Romania and Norway, joined an LGBT youth group, got baptised, went to gigs, had my writing published on a website, won a writing competition, did conservation work and birdwatching and hiking, performed in dance shows, taught dance... I have a lot of good memories.

Things aren't fixed now that I'm an adult, things are still terrible, but I have more control over my environment, and so it's easier for me to work towards improving my situation than it was when I was younger.


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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 22nd 2016, 09:57 PM

All of my teen years up to right now have been rough. During my early teen years, I could not tell anyone what was going on and I struggled alone and felt terribly alone through all of it. I did eventually tell people what had happened, and started getting help but it is still hard because getting help and working through things brings a lot to the surface. I don't like or hate my teenage years, though. There's more of a numbness or I feel indifferent, I guess.


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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 22nd 2016, 10:10 PM

My teen years were both good and bad. There were times that were better than others.
I know now I am strong enough to survive and I believe my experiences molded me into the person I am today. (:

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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 22nd 2016, 10:19 PM

Yeah, I didn't particularly like my teen years. Got way too attached/obsessed with a mother figure who I couldn't see anymore, developed possible depression, anxiety, panic attacks. Didn't have many friends, and my dad was ill. It was my later teen years that things were better. When I was 18, I grew really close to a special friend, got into university and made friends of my own. Felt a little happier then


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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 22nd 2016, 10:32 PM

My teen years aren't that bad. My depression and anxiety got a lot worse when I became a teenager, about 2-3 years ago, but now I am sort of managing everything a little better and overall I have got many good memories from being a teenager. The early stages were pretty bad but at the moment its not bad. I think it just depends on who you are and your environment. A lot of good things happen when your a teenager and some bad things. I definitely am a lot happier than I was when I was first a teenager even though I still have a few years left of being one.


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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 22nd 2016, 11:00 PM

Really not liking it. I have spent them with almost no social interaction (this is unlikely to change). I have also been thinking too much i guess. This has lead to a bunch of problems. But yea. Not liking them.
   
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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 22nd 2016, 11:08 PM

My teen years were... intense. I went through a lot of tough stuff, and I barely made it out alive. That lasted until I was around 21, maybe. I'm in a much better place now, and I'm okay with the fact that I went through a lot because now I can help teenagers who are struggling just like I did (my goal is to become a school/college counselor).

But yeah, if it's bad, it gets better.


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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 23rd 2016, 01:33 AM

Being a teenager in and of itself aren't what made those years of my life the worst. What made those years bad were the things that happened to me.
   
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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 23rd 2016, 05:24 AM

My teenage years were both bad and good...mostly good.

I enjoyed my teenage years and would redo it haha.


   
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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 23rd 2016, 06:24 AM

Would you say being an adult is better or both stages have their ups and downs?
   
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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 23rd 2016, 07:55 AM

That is a question wrongly worded. The question is not whether someone hated being a teenager, it is whether their life which coincided with the fact that they were a teenager, was undesirable. I loved being a teenager because that means I have access to the rest of my years! No, I understand your question though and personally, I did not have an issue with my life back when, but I still had a lot to learn, especially in language and tact. It is a matter of humanity and a matter of fortune. As long as you are human, you are going to have your ups and downs and the only difference is the stages in life in which they originate.


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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 23rd 2016, 01:58 PM

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Would you say being an adult is better or both stages have their ups and downs?
Both stages have their ups and downs, definitely. I love the freedom that being an adult gives me, but at the same time I now have to work more independantly to solve my problems. A lot of the time I wish I still lived at home so someone could cook me a meal or do my laundry!


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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 23rd 2016, 04:32 PM

To answer your first question:
I did not "hate" my teen years. I hated what was going on, how I was struggling and I never thought it would end but looking at I can not place that on the developmental stage I was in but rather the experiences of middle-childhood that were starting to surface do to what was occurring during that time and not knowing how to cope with that. It was during that time I started cutting, realized I had depression, extreme bitterness and hate towards certain people that most people do not hate (my parents/those that were to raise me well) an I did not have much support because I kept all of this to myself. Once I started getting support Idid not take it as seriously as I should have (way too many therapy sessions just acting like I was listening but really I was not) and yeah, it was rough but I did not "hate" it.
I learned a whole lot about myself, others, life and got a lot of examples of how I know I dod not want to be. I believe my teen years are not something I would want to repeat again but they were necessary to my development on many levels.
To answer the second question:
I find being an adult is not really better just different. I had a lot of responsibility as a teen (ie. I had chores, no one washed my laundry, cleaned my part/my room and at times we had to make our own food). The differences lie in that I am responsible for my own bills now, any services I need related to my disability are on my shoulders (self-advocacy is learned quick when you are put on your own with it) and probably other differiences I am not thinking of at the moment.

I see a lot here about een years being hated and that saddens me. Try to put things into prospective. Yes, many of us here, myself included, grew up in undesirable/unsafe/neglectful/abusive environments but it is how you cope with those in the present time that matters. You can choose to let them define you and forge for you a path of struggle, bitterness and hate or you can choose a path towards not letting it be you. Your experiences contribute to who you are as a person and developmental issues related to improper parenting do exist in some cases but all in all, with the right support everyone will improve things for themselves with time.
If you are in that place where you are a teen and struggling, do not try it out on your own. That is why we have hotlines Etc. on this whole website exists for that purpose.

I went on a tangent there but yeah those are my thoughts.


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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 23rd 2016, 08:35 PM

Neutral. I've grown as a person by far during my teen years and now they're almost over. I'm kind of sad about that, though the teen years were rough. I'm scared to be a full-fledged "adult" though.


   
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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 24th 2016, 01:05 AM

Mine were spent in the hospital, sans 17-19 (the longest duration I spent out of the hospital). When I was 11-13 (right before high school and in middle) I was thriving, but my mental illness became unmanageable in high school so I spent most of those years in and out of the hospital. I don't remember most of those years, just that I had ECT treatments and some of the people I met in the hospital. Other than that, not many memories. So it was a neutral experience really.


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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 24th 2016, 04:58 AM

My teen years were a very difficult period in my life. I struggled with severe depression and had difficulty forming positive, healthy relationships. I had a very difficult time coping in everyday situations. When I was sixteen my parents sent me to a wilderness camp and then therapeutic boarding school. I graduated shortly before I turned eighteen. I was much happier and healthier, but after I went to college I started struggling with my mental health issues again, worse than ever before. I spent the rest of my teen years in and out of psychiatric treatment, but there were still many times during which I was happy. All in all, I'm glad it's behind me. However, I learned a lot of things about myself through those tough life lessons that I might not have learned for a long time otherwise.

Being an adult has its ups and downs. Generally by the time you're an adult you've figured out who you are and are beginning to figure out what you want in life, so the stress of finding an identity that suits you is resolved. But as an adult there is a great increase in responsibility. There's rent, bills, loan repayments, and mortgages. There's a lot more expected of you by society. In general your actions have much greater consequences. Despite all that, though, I much prefer being an adult to being a teen. Even though I have more commitments than I did as a teenager, and the added stress of worrying about money, there's still a much greater deal of personal freedom than I had back then.



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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 24th 2016, 02:00 PM

I wouldn't say I hated my teenage years, I just hated what I was going through but now also thankful for the person it's turned me into. It's made me see the world in a different way and I never would have wanted to go down the career path I want too if it wasn't for what I went through. I spent a lot of time in hospital and a lot of time going into self destruct which was really difficult.

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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 29th 2016, 02:09 PM

I haven't been a teenager in a while. Sometimes I miss being a teenager, because I was still in high school and opportunities were still presenting themselves then. Other times, I don't miss being a teenager one bit. I'm glad I'm past that age now.
   
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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 29th 2016, 05:42 PM

Hated it for the most part. I found the hate in me the darkness in me, I found everything that was wrong with me.
   
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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 29th 2016, 06:22 PM

Hey,

It's been a while since I was a teenager. I think for me being a teenager was a combination of both the best and worst years of my life. I was someone who suffered with depression and mostly my mum put it down to being a teenager, I think I may not have struggled so much in my teenage years if I had been given more help and support.

On the positive side though you don't really have financial worries, sure you think you do but I grew up having everything I needed. You think school is the be all and end all and you think school leaves you stressed but it doesn't prepare you for the shock of going to work and the new stresses that you get. I miss my mum doing my washing and clearing up after me, now I have to do all of those things myself.


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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 29th 2016, 09:11 PM

Quote:
Do/did you like or hate being a teenager?
I jumped and wanted to say "hell yes" (to hating), but honestly I think that that's really over simplfying what being a teenager was for me - being a teenager was a bit of loving and hating it.

Sometimes it sucked a lot - I dealt with depression, anxiety and ADHD and didn't even realize how bad it was (I thought everything was fine and dandy (oh, btw, it wasn't) and that this must be what life was supposed to be like (wrong), and that everyone must be hiding great darkness inside them (well, wrong again cause not everyone). Oh, how wrong I was. Once that cloud started to lift, things got better.

But I also dealt with some nasty friends, feelings of powerlessness and a lot of stuff like that. I felt bullied, excluded and unloved a lot. But that wasn't my entire teen experience, those experiences merely clouded the good stuff.

Now, in my mid-20's I can look back and think that, yeah, my teen years weren't perfect but good things happened - I had some good, kind friends who treated me well, I had two part time jobs that got me work experience, and I eventually got a boyfriend (who turned out to be a wanker but the really bad stuff didn't happen until after high school so what ever, he just contributed to my first year of university sucking the life out of me), I travelled, and my parents made sure I was housed, clothed and fed. I came from a privileged family too and there was enough money for whatever I needed (emphasis on needed - I wasn't just given whatever I wanted). I also didn't have nearly as much responsibility as I do now, which I'll never get to experience ever again.

Quote:
Would you say being an adult is better or both stages have their ups and downs?
For this question, I think that both stages have their ups and downs. Like, I used to think that adults knew things about the world and that eventually I'd be like them and I wouldn't be so confuse about what was going on around me or in my head. But, nope, we don't, I'm still figuring things out, so are people in their 30's, so are parents, and grandparents. No one will ever fully understand the secrets of the universe and you're always having to rethink where you currently are and figure it out. It's true that I have a better handle on my mental health now, even at it's worst I am no longer blindly unaware of what's wrong with me, I have managed to frame it in my head to the best of my abilities and work through it. I think the best part of being an adult is that I feel like I have more control over things, most importantly, myself and how I feel (it's a work in progress, sometimes I let my anxiety take over or I start thinking negatively). Other things suck, like I've been unemployed for 8 months sooooo, there's that.

The way I see it is that this is life, no matter what age you are things will be what they are; good, bad, ugly and everything in between.




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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 30th 2016, 12:33 AM

EFor me, I've had several ups and downs during my teenage years but life got a LOT better after I graduated high school and started college. Even though school has been busy and quite stressful, I'm glad to say that I'm enjoying college more and that life really does get better after high school.


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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - January 31st 2016, 11:24 PM

To your first question:

I went through alot during my teenage years, but I wouldn't say I hate them. There were a lot of horrible things, but no matter how small, there where also good things. They just got overshadowed by the bad things. But I learnd from all these experiences no matter if good or bad and they made me who I am today.
Besides, it wasn't puverty or anything that gave me trouble, but the people around me, so I can't exactly blame being a teenager for anything^^
So no, I don't hate my teenage years.

For your second question:
both stages defintely have their ups and downs.
Being an adult means freedome and independence, but there's also a lot of responsibility. As a teenager you could screw up things and it wasn't to bad. Maybe you got scolded or a bad mark. As an adult the consequences are much higher.
That's just one example out of many.
I like to think that for every good thing there's a bad thing. It's never perfect but it's never compleately bad either. So it doesn't really matter if your a teenager or an adult. Both suck and both are awesome at the same time


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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - February 4th 2016, 03:49 AM

honestly I'd enjoy it more without the crushing anxiety of possible future failure that we're all conditioned to have and being expected to act like an adult while being treated like a child
   
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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - February 4th 2016, 04:50 PM

I neither liked nor disliked being a teenager, however what happened during those years were the parts I disliked the most.


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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - February 5th 2016, 03:21 AM

So far its been it's been good, its been meh, and its bad. Would I go back and fix things I fucked up? Oh yeah, I've don't a shitton of bad things and I've only been in about 3 years. So far its been a wild ride, and I haven't even reached the peak. Once I realized that what's gonna happen is gonna happen and that I'm just along for the ride, I've opened up more and been less nervous and anxious. I've been more spontaneous. Now has that been a good thing? Most of the time. Other times? Hell no. Have I wished I stopped holding back earlier? Definitely. I started being who I was and not somebody else, and people liked me a lot more. I'd have to say the teenage years have been pretty good for me so far, I only wait eagerly for what's in store and then I'll bounce into the Navy Seals (Hopefully I've been training ) and the continue on. *Knock on wood for that whole last sentence*


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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - February 8th 2016, 03:26 PM

I'm an introvert, I'm shy and reserved, making friends is dreadful to me, and I get angry easily - let's not forget my resting bithcface. I guess that made me look a bit asshole-ish to those who weren't patient enough/cared enough to get to know me - there was a lot of backstabbing and shit-talking going on in high school. Add a shitty family, anxiety, depression, self-harm and self-esteem issues to the mix and you'll understand that my teenage years were a mess. I have to admit, though, that my last year of high school (aka 2014-2015) was kinda good: I wasn't depressed anymore, I made a couple new friends (at least I thought so), and I started getting good grades because of that. But for most part, my teenage years really sucked. But what went on with me has nothing to do with being a teenager (except for the backstabbing/shit-talking part). I don't feel entitled to saying whether being an adult is better or worse, I'm only 19, but judging from what goes on around me, I guess it has its ups and downs too.


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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - February 8th 2016, 07:25 PM

Probably about neutral. I loved the lack of responsibility I had but of course, I couldn't appreciate that at the time. My late teens were my favorite because I felt free but still young!



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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - February 9th 2016, 11:44 AM

My teen years were okay. For the most part I had friends and passed my classes but I was unhappy about myself a lot. I had comments made at school and on the buses and my social anxiety was so much worse than it is now. I hated being seen by other people and in class I was silent unless I already knew someone. I was happy enough at home, and even when I was really unhappy during the years I was an active member here, it could have been worse. So I wouldn't say I hated my teen years at all. I didn't love them obviously, there was a lot wrong and a lot of who I knew and what i did are happily behind me now. But it's given me something to develop myself from. As a point of comparison it's a good thing, I learnt a lot and changed a lot. Would I go back though? No. Absolutely not. I don't love who I am and what my life is like now but it's a lot better than it was.


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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - February 9th 2016, 02:52 PM

My teen years were AWFUL. Very lonely and full of Depression and Self-Destruction.
   
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Re: Do/did you like or hate being a teenager? - February 10th 2016, 06:52 AM

My teen years were rough but my moods were more stable and I had my depression under control until about 17. 12-14 was rough because I was teased by kids at school and it was pretty brutal. But, once I got to high school things go better. I was teased but not as bad and I made a few good friends.

Adulthood has been a bit more trying because my depression increased and I was unhappy with certain aspects of my life.

I am working on changing that though. It hasn't been easy and I have good days and bad days but I am coming along. I am hoping that my older adult life will get better from here on out.


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