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Jmhg11 Offline
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i cant stop liying - April 8th 2016, 06:02 AM

so I cant stop lying. I am genetically hardwired to lie. I was born when my birthparents where only 16 and I was hidden until I was almost born. I cant really control my lying I try so damn hard but it never works. I lie and lie and lie. it just automatically switches on whenever I'm in trouble nervous or scared I lie. I'm actually a really good liar that's part of the problem I never get caught. its especially bad now because my parents are splitting up. pleas if anyone can give some advice id love it.
   
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Re: i cant stop liying - April 8th 2016, 06:14 PM

The problem with lying, as I'm sure you've discovered, is that once you get into the habit of doing it, it can be very difficult to stop. Particularly if you think it serves a useful purpose.

It sounds like you use lying as a defence mechanism - by separating yourself from the truth you perhaps feel as though you are protecting yourself. However, the reality is that you are just making life harder than it needs to be. Lying and, in particular, maintaining the lies requires an awful lot of effort. Effort that could be put to better use thinking about something else. If you do get caught out, people may not trust you ever again. Also, word will spread and being a liar is not a reputation you want to have.

Once you are finally able to tell the truth, I think you will feel a great sense of freedom. But it will take some effort to achieve that. You will have to physically stop yourself when you can sense that you are about to lie. Instead of feeling under pressure and blurting something out, you will need to pause, take a deep breath and think carefully about what you are going to say.

It will take practice and you will still slip up now and again. But gradually you will be able to break the habit and live a more honest existence.

I'm sorry to learn that your parents are splitting up and recognise that the stress of that is going to make it even more difficult to deal with your lying problem. However, I do think that with the right support it is possible.

How would you feel about talking to a counsellor? There should be one attached to your school and what you tell them is completely private between the two of you. You most likely have a lot of thoughts and emotions relating to your home life, which you don't have to keep to yourself and feel alone with. A counsellor would be able to help you to feel better about what is happening with your parents. They could also support you with trying to break your lying habit.


Be kind to yourself.
   
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Re: i cant stop liying - April 8th 2016, 09:34 PM

I understand this is hard for you but you can beat it! Lying is something that is really over looked but it's so hard to control if your doing it compulsively. Have you spoken to anyone about this? I would suggest speaking to perhaps a counsellor or your local GP or a friend. getting this off your chest will help you cope with the emotional side of it. Have you thought about what makes you lie? Perhaps you can find the route of the problem and put a stop to it for yourself. I would suggest searching the web and TeenHelp for coping methods a method I used when I was dealing with depression I used to listen to music which allowed me to stimulate my mind. I feel speaking to a counsellor will allow you to find the route of your problem I wish you all the best if you need any more help feel free to contact me.
   
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Re: i cant stop liying - April 11th 2016, 01:16 PM

On falsehood can not build a good relationship. And when people find out the truth, you are ashamed, are not you? Just remember that feeling, when you want to lie.
   
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Re: i cant stop liying - April 12th 2016, 03:26 PM

Hey, I've moved this over to the General forum since you weren't asking for relationship advice.


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