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Unimportant but Significant Problems - July 3rd 2016, 12:38 AM

Hi everyone, this post may seem sort of self-centered; if so, I just want to let you know in advance that I'm sorry and I know there are much bigger issues in the world.
Essentially, my mental health has been all over the place lately. I find little things; pieces of memories, thoughts, and obsess over them. This next bit of information may seem almost entirely off topic, but it is what this post is truly about, so bare with me--I have found a lot of new music lately, some of which I feel that my relatives might just enjoy--particularly my grandmother. I am not sure exactly why, but I have this fear that people around me will not enjoy my favorite art, music, etc., so I am debating on whether I should show my grandmother this music. I am even beginning to think awful, awful thoughts (when my mind wanders off) that are voluntary such as "It will all be over soon" because of my grandmother's passing age. Of course I do feel trapped and guilty when I realize the weight and actuality of what I thought, but I'm learning that thoughts can be O.K. as long as you don't carry out an action. What also happens is that I get very stressed out because I think thoughts such as "maybe this is what she's been missing her whole life, then I will regret this for the rest of my life if I do not show this to her while she is living . . . what if she thoroughly enjoys this and I am too much of a coward to come out and present it? . . . why am I only thinking of myself and not doing a good deed for someone? . . . maybe she'll hate it . . . what if these songs are too strongly expressing and emotion and she will carry out a related action (the song expresses sadness, she hurts herself) . . ." Evidently, this is a very petty, first world problem, but this is exactly what my mind/I am capable of doing--twisting things around, voluntarily (but not understandingly) thinking atrocious thoughts, and causing myself a great deal of guilt and stress because of very simple issues. Also, the more I find more music, the more fear builds up because I feel that I need to show her every piece of music that I enjoy. This same thing also happens with my mom and not my grandmother where I feel I need to share every song (or something else) that I enjoy to her. Can someone give me any advice?

P.S. I am not exactly sure if this post belongs here so by all means tell me to move it somewhere else if I should.
   
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Re: Unimportant but Significant Problems - July 3rd 2016, 02:19 AM

I don't think your post seems self-centered at all, and please don't apologize for thinking there are more important things going on in the world because you know what?

You matter. You are important. and your problems are problems no matter how small they are and you deserve to have someone to talk to about it or to ask for help. No problem is too small or too big!

I think having that fear of other people not taking an interest in what we love or are passionate about is pretty normal for a lot of people - but I do think you can't let it control your life, because hey she could love it a lot, or she might not, but no matter what happens you took the effort to introduce her to something because you thought it might benefit her or might be something she enjoyed.

It's a great thing to do to share your passions with someone. It means you're close to them and want to let them in. That's such a thoughtful and amazing thing to do. I think as you actually take action, rather than let that fear consume you, it'll get better and you won't be thinking constantly, "Hey maybe this song." With everything you hear.

I hope this helps a little bit! Good luck!


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Last edited by Chuuya; July 3rd 2016 at 03:14 AM. Reason: I don't know how to grammar
   
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Re: Unimportant but Significant Problems - July 10th 2016, 07:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto View Post
I don't think your post seems self-centered at all, and please don't apologize for thinking there are more important things going on in the world because you know what?

You matter. You are important. and your problems are problems no matter how small they are and you deserve to have someone to talk to about it or to ask for help. No problem is too small or too big!

I think having that fear of other people not taking an interest in what we love or are passionate about is pretty normal for a lot of people - but I do think you can't let it control your life, because hey she could love it a lot, or she might not, but no matter what happens you took the effort to introduce her to something because you thought it might benefit her or might be something she enjoyed.

It's a great thing to do to share your passions with someone. It means you're close to them and want to let them in. That's such a thoughtful and amazing thing to do. I think as you actually take action, rather than let that fear consume you, it'll get better and you won't be thinking constantly, "Hey maybe this song." With everything you hear.

I hope this helps a little bit! Good luck!
thank you so much, this definitely gives me more courage to show her some of my music
   
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