Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

General For questions or discussions that do not fit elsewhere, post here. Please check all forum descriptions before posting here to be sure there is not a better location for your thread.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Heathen Offline
Beauty and Bedlam
Jeez, get a life!
Heathen's Avatar
Name: Jordan
Age: 29
Gender: Female

Posts: 5,441
Blog Entries: 614
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Recurring dreams - July 8th 2018, 09:35 PM

A little over four years ago I broke up with my boyfriend, C. We had been together for several years and we were polyamorous, but I had met someone new who was taking all of my attention. He was making me feel alive in ways C was not so I broke up with him. We said we'd stay friends but of course that never happened. I would try and push to hang out but C would never take me up on it, until finally last December he deleted me from Facebook, our last connection to one another. B, the person I left C for, turned out to be very abusive. We are no longer together, and haven't been for almost three years, but I still bear scars from that relationship.

Anyway, for I don't even know how long, YEARS, now, I have recurring dreams about C and my old polycule (it's a cute term for a polyam family/group). These dreams happen as much as a few times a week but never less than once every couple of weeks, so pretty frequently. The circumstances in the dreams are always different (I have very weird dreams), but the same thread runs through all of them: C and I make peace, and sometimes get back together.

These dreams are cruel and I always wake up feeling angry and sad because I know such resolution is never going to be possible. C has made clear he doesn't want me in his life and I'm not going to reach out to him and violate that boundary, plus I don't even know what I would say to him. I guess I was the one who did all the reaching out in the last few years and I'm sick of making overtures, even if for some reason he did want them, which he doesn't.

So what do I do? Why do I keep having these dreams? I almost never think about him during the day. How do I get rid of these dreams? I don't like having them and I want them to stop. Or is there really no way to get rid of them, and I'm just stuck with them?

The moon asked the crow
For a little show
In the hazy milk of twilight
No one had to know
The moon asked the crow...
  Send a message via Yahoo to Heathen  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
DeletedAccount29's Avatar
Edit avatar

Posts: n/a

Re: Recurring dreams - July 8th 2018, 09:44 PM

I'm in the same situation myself. I used to be friends with C, A, M, and S. M and S were from one forum and C and A were from another. Over the years, I'd have recurring dreams where I make contact with M, she had unexpectedly unblocked me and we were beginning to talk again. A few years ago, when I went to London, I had a dream about running into S. C and A don't recur as often, but when they do, I am feeling such a gut wrenching pain and a hole in my heart (ironic, since C was born with a hole in her heart) and I just spend the whole day spaced out.

Will that ever go away?

C - last contact a year and half ago. She was still persistent I was being "sketchy" at trying to reach out. Whatever.
A - last contacted this past September/October. We've pretty much departed one another's lives amicably. Both of us wish one another all the best, blah blah blah. For some reason (I can't tell you why) she popped into my dreams the other night.

M - last contact roughly eight years ago. Same for S.

Our subconscience is a funny thing. We never have complete control over it. Perhaps discussing it with S (if you don't think she'd get pissed off) or someone else might help a bit. But ultimately, we are at the mercy of our dreams.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
.:Bibliophile:. Online
PM me anytime!

TeenHelp Veteran
.:Bibliophile:.'s Avatar
Gender: Just me

Posts: 16,952
Blog Entries: 1796
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: Recurring dreams - July 8th 2018, 11:04 PM

Hey there,
I always viewed my recurring dreams as happening because I didn't have the closure I needed so my mind was telling me to figure out a way to find that closure. I don't know if this is the true reason for them but I do know that when I've been able to get closure for certain things, some of my recurring dreams ended up stopping.

I think that you need to figure out a way to get closure. That doesn't mean that you have to reach out to this person; closure can occur in many different ways. I know, for example, some therapists do role plays with people so they can speak their minds to their abusers even though the person will never be able to actually speak to the abusive person. I don't know how effective this method would be for you though. Maybe writing out everything you want to say to this person and then figuring out a way to send it off so that it's no longer holding you down (so to speak) will help as well.

I do think that once you figure out a way to get closure that you might find that the dreams decrease or go away completely.

Best regards.

|Lead Moderator|Newsletter Officer|
Closed Thread


dreams, recurring

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.