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ThePunkAlien June 17th 2009 04:33 PM

Do your parents know who you are?
 
Basically this is a question I got from the "could TH ruin your life" thread. Do your parents know who you are?

I feel somewhat lucky and cursed that my parents know little to anything about my emotional state. Even with signs of how damaged I am, by things I've done in my past, they brush it aside as though it's nothing. Which is on one hand frustrating, but on the other good - because I don't want them to see me as their psychotic son who's dead inside.

All they know is the mask of the 'healthy,' stable guy they see smiling and joking around them... not how after that I retreat to my bat cave and sulk on the verge of depression. It's really like putting on a fake front so others can't see how damaged I am. Hell, even my so called success that they think was earned through good things was only earned via my motivation to try to prove that I'm even worthy to be alive.

Simply put, you know on the news how some parents are surprised and unsettled when they find out what their son was truly capable of, because all they saw was that smiling boy sitting in front of them? Well, that's basically the story of my life. They only see the smiling mask, they don't see the broken emotionally psychotically troubled guy barely making it through life.

So, in addition to the 'could TH ruin your life' thread - I was wondering how many on there would answer this question... do your parents know who you are?

noise94 June 17th 2009 04:44 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
They know as much as I want them to know. They don't know about TH, my best friend, my history of Self Harm or my suicidal thoughts. So, in that sense, no. But I don't want them to know. They'd just make everything worse...

But as for other things, like I don't like being social, being ill has made me very down, where I want to go in life, etc, .. my mom does.

My dad knows nothing. :p

But to be honest, I've changed completely in the last year, and they haven't even noticed.

losing touch. June 17th 2009 04:56 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
yeahh my parents definitely know who i am. my mum probably more so than my dad i suppose.

thegirlnextdoor89 June 17th 2009 05:04 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
My parents think they know everything about me.
They go to great lengths to know.
They go through my things, as well as find information about me online.
So, they know facts.
But, they'll never know how I feel deep inside.
That's something they can't take.
So, they think they know who I am,
But they're wrong.

Magical Forest. June 17th 2009 05:05 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
My mum does to an extent. She knows things about me, but she doesn't know the proper me. Like how I am around everyone else apart from her, she doesn't know about TH, or the thoughts I have or anything like that. She knows a lot about my mental health, she's had to sit in meeting after meeting with me, but still doesnt really understand it all.
My dad knows absolutely nothing about me. Doesn't know what I like/dislike, who I am.. nothing. Shows how much he cares really...

TheLittleNinja June 17th 2009 05:10 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
I don't think anyone completely knows me. I'm not even sure if I do...

My friends no more than my parents because it's usually my parents that upset me.

My mum knows about TH. But neither parents know about previous self harm, or emotional depression.

My parents only get told things that they need to know (:

I am a completely different person for my parents, I like a colour they would approve of, I act in a way they would approve of, and I tell them only of friends they would approve.

I often feel like this is no way to live though, I want them to understand who I am, and what I want out of life. I wish they would respect my choices.

Thurineth June 17th 2009 06:27 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
No, I don't think they do. My mum used to. I used to tell her everything and it saddens me to say that we have lost that bond. I speak to my dad more, but I don't tell them my problems or worries. I guess I like to think I'm independant.

Skeleton June 17th 2009 06:44 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
Yeah, they do. If I have a problem then I'll go to them about it so they know exactly everything that's going on. They know that I feel really down, they know I've self harmed in the past and everything. It's hard letting them know sometimes but at the end of the day, I know I can turn to them about anything and I do.

Plus they know I use Teenhelp and I'm logged in on the computer that they use so there is nothing stopping them going on and seeing what I've put, which I don't really mind because if they know I get more help.

Gingerbread Latte June 17th 2009 06:47 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
I guess they know a bit, I mean I don't hide TH from them if they come in the room but I don't tell them everything I write on here. They both know I used to SH but neither of them know I've done it recentlyish and I told my mum I thought I was bisexual but all I got from that was 'everyone gets confused at your age' and nothing was ever said of that again.

Strider June 17th 2009 11:18 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
I don't think anyone knows me better than me! Not my friends or family :p I have a personal life, and it's going to stay inside my head.
They know quite a lot about me, but I wouldn't say they know me completely. I don't think they ever will.

Christinaa317o8 June 17th 2009 11:31 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
I'm not sure if anyone knows who I am, not even me. My mom knows what I like, who I like, and the things that make me happy. But she doesn't know about the things that have lead me to SH. And she doesn't know the content of my nightmares. But I don't like to think as "Self Harming" as a part of me. Does that make sense?

Casey. June 17th 2009 11:47 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
No, my parents do not know who I am. They know some things, but usually they don't ask and I don't tell.

.:Bibliophile:. June 18th 2009 12:07 AM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
Nope. They think they do and they kind of had a clue a while ago but now, no. It is way to hard to let them in because they are too selfish to really care.

My dad is in his own little 'self-finding' zone at the moment. Go dad! He doesn't want to know anything anymore. He pretends that he does but in the end he is tired of being a father. He has been a father for the past 28 years(since he was 18 when my brother was born) so now he just wants to be done with it. Which is great. Considering the fact I STILL need my father! Ugh!

As for my mom, the same goes for her but she gave up on parenting a good 6 years ago. She decided that she wanted to pop pills and sleep the rest of my and her life away.

So, I can't and won't tell them anything about myself. But, alas, it's all good. Blah! :grin:

Incompris June 18th 2009 01:27 AM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
Yes, I think my Dad does. I've been pretty open with him, I don't quite tell him everything but what I don't tell him he can pretty much figure out. My mother, however, does not know much about me at all. She's never bothered herself to even try to talk to me.

Wishable June 18th 2009 01:39 AM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
Yes they do. As well as any parent can I guess, they do their best. I told them everything this year.

Em... June 18th 2009 01:53 AM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
I don't believe that my parents know me. They have a tendency to sneak around my room or read my e-mails to try to find out what's going on with me. There was one incident where they found my hand written journal ( I now blog) that had suicidal tendencies in it. They sat me down and talked to me, but that was in 7th grade and I'm now in 11th. They think that stage has passed, when in truth it hasn't.

They don't know about my SH. Though I've done it recently, my mum is giving suspicious looks at all the braclets on my left wrist, though she's way ignorant to even consider I'm harming myself.

They think I'm a happy girl. Quiet, but happy person, but I'm living a lie right in front of their eyes. My brother doesn't even know. I'm not sure that my parents could handle the real me anyways.

So I tell them what they want to know when they ask. I usually lie when they occasionally ask if I'm okay. I tell them what I think they should know, then keep the rest to myself.

eunoia June 18th 2009 02:00 AM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
Nah. :p But how could they, unless I told them?

Khadra June 18th 2009 02:58 AM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
My parents know I have some issues because they've been confronted by psychiatrists and social workers and counsellors and had to visit me in the hospital and whatnot multiple times. They don't understand what it's about though. My mom is still adamant that the last two times I was in the psych ward it was a ploy to get the doctors to help me with a physical problem they were ignoring, and my dad didn't even know I was in the hospital the last time.

asphyxiated June 18th 2009 05:11 AM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
My mom knows as much as I want her to know, which isn't that much. I didn't want to frighten with my suicidal thoughts, or self harmful past, so I kept everything hidden. I see no reason to bring it up. I just tell her what she wants to hear, or we just don't normally talk. Its kinda sad, but what can you do?

Pelios June 18th 2009 07:57 AM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
I am suprised to see that most of you say your parents don't know who you are...
I'm not trying to sound like the weird one here but my parents actually know who I am, I always go to my mom with my problem.
My dad also know me but if I have a problem its diffrent with him. I have to actually go make an šappointmentš to mmet him at his office and talk to him. We are close but he is always busy and i repect that.
I don't know about you guys, but the ones that actually have both of your parents in your house, maybe you could try to talk more to them, they really listen and give you advise. They are one onse that want the best for you.
If you have both parents you are lucky, that advantage of that, not may teens have both parents advaliable. :)

Ellie June 18th 2009 08:07 AM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
My mum knows parts. She knows about my SH and depression, she knows about TH, she knows what I want to do in life, what makes me smile and what annoys me. So, yeah. I think she knows a lot, but not quite everything. I'm still at the stage in life where I don't reveal everything to anyone, and my mum is one of those people.

Magic. June 18th 2009 10:37 AM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
My parents know more about me than they like to let on. They know that I do get up to more than just 'going for a quiet drink', and that I have been 'active' with previous boyfriends ... neither of which they would admit though, because they don't like it.
As for depression etc. yes they know a hell of a lot. Most of my depression stems from stuff they've done, so I have had many a heated discussion about things.
Even though on the surface I don't get on with my parents, they're OK. My mam and I are actually pretty close when it comes down to it. And I know I could turn to them for help with [almost] anything :)

lvpeyton June 18th 2009 03:59 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
nope. my parents have no idea who i am, especially my dad since my parents are divorced and he doesn't live with me.

they don't know i cut, that i smoke weed every now and then, that i was smoking cigarettes- or that i quit for five months now, that i am battling an addiction against alcohol, that my one ex cheated and the other beat me. they don't know that i always feel like i am not good enough.

they have no idea. they just see the snarly, sarcastic, smiley daughter that gets good grades, goes to school, and works her ass off everyday at work.

they don't know i am in love with some guy i will never be with, and that i am afraid i will love him forever and never feel that love in return.

it is too hard to tell them. they only judge. they minimize my problems next to theirs and i would rather keep everything inside, rather than have my problems belittled.

Anomaly June 18th 2009 08:31 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
Id say no they dont. My mom is always saying that shes knows me really well but in all truth she dosent know me know me just the basics like what food I like to eat and the little things that go in my life, nothing serious at all. She thinks were really close but were not im more myself out in public then I am at my house. Im always fake at my house being happy and care free.

And my dad just dosent know squat.

Hollifire June 19th 2009 01:14 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
My parents know exactly who I am. As I've stated on here before, I'm an extremely open person. I've talked to my parents about all the parties I've gone to, what drugs I've tried, all the sexual encounters I've had, and such on. My parents are more like friends to me then actual parents. They're my best friends, and I know I can talk to them about anything and they wouldn't judge me or love me any less. I think my parents and my best friend, are the only ones who know exactly who I am, and I'm thankful I have them in my life.

kaytastrophie_xo June 19th 2009 07:53 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
My parents know the basics. They know what I like to eat, what I listen to, the obvious stuff. But past that they have no idea who I am.

They try to tell me they do- they always pull that "I was your age once too and I know how you are feeling/thinking" but in retrospect they just have no idea.

They think I have low self-esteem because of the things I do when really I do those things because I am suffering majourly from depression.

I wish I could talk to them but all they do is judge. They don't see what is really going on; they only see what they want to see and there is no way to get through to them.

Algernon June 19th 2009 08:28 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
I think my mom does. But she just doesn't understand me like I'd want her too.

I think my dad understands me, and knows me pretty well.

<:3 )~ June 19th 2009 08:58 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
Mm. Well, my parents are pretty loopy in their own ways so I don't think they have time to really know or be concerned. :P

SimplyComplex June 19th 2009 09:37 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
No one really knows me entirely, I like letting people think they do. My parents? Don't even know half of me. To them, I have no problems. *inserts evil laugh* No one will ever know all of me. I don't believe anyone will stay that long.

Jake June 19th 2009 10:04 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
Nah, my mam notices when I'm depressed but i don't think she thinks it's any more than some mild depression. My dad knows nothing.

omgireallyneedhelp June 27th 2009 05:12 AM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
no they dont not at all my parents have no interest in trying either they dont want to take the time to get to know me

20 Dollar Nose Bleed June 27th 2009 05:44 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
Nope. My parents don't even know my favorite colour or favorite food.
They actually know VERY little about me.
I stopped talking to my mom and step-dad when I was 15. I just cut myself off emotionally from them. I've always lived in the same house as them, but the most contact we have is if I ask them to take me to work or if I ask them to take me to the store. That's it.

My mom knows that i'm not 100% right in the head but she has no idea why and has NO idea how bad it really is.

Ask them any question about me and they wont be able to answer.

Popo June 27th 2009 06:05 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
I've got a strong bond with my mother, but she doesn't know anything about the bad side of me (ie. suicidal thoughts at least twice a month, the extent of my hate for the person I'm supposed to call "father")
As for my "father"... In short: no; In long: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. He thinks of me as the kid that never will amount to anything, and that I have to do physical labor to get ahead in life, even though I took a computer repair class and will get certified sometime soon.

Crazy_Achava_lovesmusic June 28th 2009 07:39 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
Well, they know just about everything sadly... Except my username lol which really sucks but they dont care that i come on here as long as im not making myself depressed.

Robin June 28th 2009 08:50 PM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Josh (Post 167663)
Basically this is a question I got from the "could TH ruin your life" thread. Do your parents know who you are?

I feel somewhat lucky and cursed that my parents know little to anything about my emotional state. Even with signs of how damaged I am, by things I've done in my past, they brush it aside as though it's nothing. Which is on one hand frustrating, but on the other good - because I don't want them to see me as their psychotic son who's dead inside.

All they know is the mask of the 'healthy,' stable guy they see smiling and joking around them... not how after that I retreat to my bat cave and sulk on the verge of depression. It's really like putting on a fake front so others can't see how damaged I am. Hell, even my so called success that they think was earned through good things was only earned via my motivation to try to prove that I'm even worthy to be alive.

Simply put, you know on the news how some parents are surprised and unsettled when they find out what their son was truly capable of, because all they saw was that smiling boy sitting in front of them? Well, that's basically the story of my life. They only see the smiling mask, they don't see the broken emotionally psychotically troubled guy barely making it through life.

So, in addition to the 'could TH ruin your life' thread - I was wondering how many on there would answer this question... do your parents know who you are?


1. That was my topic YAY :grin:

2. Your life sounds like mine, with my parents and everything, even down to retreating to my cave (my room) and being on the verge of depressing.

So no they dont

Sparks June 29th 2009 02:36 AM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
No, they know i smoke weed and drop acid now and then and that's about it.

hellolove June 29th 2009 05:44 AM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
well, no. my parents don't really know me. i think my mom tries to figure me out but i don't really feel comfortable opening up to her. yet, i think she likes to think that she knows me and what's going on in my life, who i'm friends with, who i'm dating, ect. but she never knows. and my dad doesn't have the slightest clue. he knows what mom tells him that she "knows." oh well... i'm used to it and it's how my family has always been. so it's not really a big deal to me.

TheWhiteTornado June 29th 2009 06:08 AM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
My parents think they have me pinned as some quiet, reserved killjoy who just wants to be left alone. This, however, is mostly because of the fact that they always want me to be involved and try to make me be involed in everything, making me antisocial around them. Don't get me wrong, they have the best of intentions, it's just that they believe that they have to make me be happy, when i already am and just don't show it.

Elz June 29th 2009 10:00 AM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
I think parents/legal guardians like to think they do but they don't.
In my case.. my aunty has seen things but chooses to be in complete denial so my answer shall be NO.

VanishingActs June 29th 2009 10:46 AM

Re: Do your parents know who you are?
 
My parents have an idea I have obsessive compulsive tendencies but no idea the extent of it all.


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