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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
lonely.boy Offline
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Change.How do you deal with it?How you can deal with it? - August 27th 2009, 01:01 AM

Recently i had a change in my life(temporary, it's already gone) and it made me realize that i don't like change as much as i thought and as i liked too.
I always thought that i would change my life drastically, even move out to other city or even other country as i always dreamed, but now i don't know if i will handle it well, or even if im going to do it. As example (it's not a big event but i think it gives you the idea of this), right now i want to redecorate my room, give it other look, but im even afraid of taking the steps to do it, i think that maybe it's because one of the reason i want to change completely the room is also to symbolize change in my life and that i need to change.
I don't know why im so afraid of change, specially since that change i said in the beginning was actually a good thing for me
Do you have a problem with change too? How do you deal with it (and how can i deal with) ?
   
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Re: Change.How do you deal with it?How you can deal with it? - August 27th 2009, 01:43 AM

im really afraid of change too. i deal with it by fighting my fear, and taking small steps to a bigger pic. dont change your whole room at once, maybe get a new bed spread or something. see how that goes. if well, paint the walls or get a rug. if you want to move out of the city, dont. just move homes into a different part. that way your state of mind is comfterated by the fact your in the city but its new. then a few years later move to a different city! i totally understand what you are going through, so if you need to talk dont be afraid to message me! good luck =]
   
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Re: Change.How do you deal with it?How you can deal with it? - August 27th 2009, 03:54 PM

Im a very "routine" person, and I dont like change. I'm a bit afraid of it.
Small steps and give yourself plenty of the time to get used to the change
As the poster above said, change one thing at a time and see how you adjust to that.
Good luck
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Re: Change.How do you deal with it?How you can deal with it? - August 27th 2009, 10:48 PM

Thank you for the advices.
Going slow, step by step on changes is a good idea, but im afraid about the "big ones", like moving to other city. i know that probably i will get used to but at the beginning i know it will probably be a huge shock, specially if im alone there
   
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Re: Change.How do you deal with it?How you can deal with it? - August 27th 2009, 11:47 PM

I find change really hard to deal with.
I have to do things in subtle changes.
Even down to things like hair styles and make-up. I find it hard to change my dress sense so gradually I have to buy things and build up very gradually.
   
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Re: Change.How do you deal with it?How you can deal with it? - August 28th 2009, 01:26 PM

Hey

Change can be really hard, I agree. If too many things change in my life at once, I can't handle it well at all. If you are planning on moving, I don't suggest you redecorate your room just yet. If you want to move, why not try a week in a new city with a friend? Or take a few trips to the city just to look around and get a feel for it. If yo like the city, you should at least try moving! Once moved, you can get into a new routine and things will start to feel more normal. Moving is a big change, but sometimes it can really be a good thing! If it doesn't seem like the right time to move, redecorating your room is a great way to change things up a little. Try changing one item in your room at a time, maybe replace a lamp at first, or change out a picture on the wall. Or, keep the same exact things, but rearrange your room. Start with moving a rug to a new spot, or move your mirror. Maybe move a chair and table. Or perhaps move your bed! There are many ways to make small changes. Once you get used to each small change, you can make another small change. Give yourself a lot of time to get used to each change, and sooner or later change won't seem as daunting- it might even be fun!! Try to keep an open mind about change though. Remember, if it's really that bad you can ALWAYS change it back =]

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Re: Change.How do you deal with it?How you can deal with it? - August 28th 2009, 07:36 PM

Hey there

I REALLY dislike change. Change or new things in general. I was okay going to high school just because I made myself so ridiculously excited that there was no more room for fear, but that's another story :P
I go to these therapy "retreats" for grieving teens, and each group is different. That's something I learned. Each time we do a retreat, It's usually me (because I like to stick around) and a bunch of new kids. How did I handle the change? I went home and cried :P But I also talked to a few of the counselors that run the group, and I told them how I was feeling and they helped keep the group under control (The second group was very hyper...).
Something I've done in the past to deal with change is to just remember that it's okay. It's always going to work out. Even if it seems hectic to start out with, just go with the flow and it'll work out in the end. Also doing like Amy said and taking it one step at a time. Little things. That's a suggestion they make at my therapy group. Avoid MAJOR life changes, but start small. Move the living room around or change your clothes more often...Actually that's something I do when I'm upset. If I am triggered or just having a bad day I'll have a shower and change my clothes. If I'm having trouble sleeping at night I change my PJ's or sleep at the wrong side of the bed. (Wow I make myself sound strange...)
Another thing I find helps is to have a plan. When I know something is going to be different or new, I need to know the plan. Where I'm going, what it's going to look like, how it's going to happen. I worry about the little details. For example when I started counselling I was more worried about which room my counsellor and I were going to meet in rather than what we were going to have to talk about. Little things like that can be solved with the "it'll all work out" phrase.

Hope this has helped a little bit. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat

Jennifer
   
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Re: Change.How do you deal with it?How you can deal with it? - August 29th 2009, 09:36 PM

Thank you so much for the advices
Im not going to move now, it's just something i think about doing, sometimes i think i won't be happy here and that maybe moving would solve some of my problems(although i don't if really solves something...).
I will try to make changes in "small doses" when possible, its probably better and easy to handle than big changes, but i still sometimes have to think about making big changes, because that's what sometimes keeps my going...
Thanks
   
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Re: Change.How do you deal with it?How you can deal with it? - August 30th 2009, 12:31 AM

I'm afraid of upsetting people if i change. Change itself is a concept to me that i find quite exciting. Scared of changing, yes, who isn't? But it's exciting, nontheless. I believe you should live your days now, and anticipate the days to come.
This quote has spurred me on a bit: "Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow."
Also, these song lyrics mean a lot to me: "Heaven's not a place that you go when you die, it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive, so live for the moment, and take this advice, live by every word."
I'm not sure if that explains my reason's behind change, but, well...it does to me

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Re: Change.How do you deal with it?How you can deal with it? - August 30th 2009, 02:41 AM

How do I deal with change? I don't. I stay in bed and hope it blows over my head.

Funny though that I dislike change so much, I'm not a routine person at all.



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Re: Change.How do you deal with it?How you can deal with it? - August 30th 2009, 10:49 AM

I think I handle change well- probably because of my extreme lazzez-faire blaze attitude. I kind of take everything laid back and easy, sometimes a little too easy like with my A levels.

But yeah I kinda just roll with the waves, go with the flow. Sit back and have a wait-and-see approach. Of course This doesn't mean I don't get nervous, I often get anxious about social changes (Like my new university) but still I am not worrying about the major change of independence and responsibility. Oh I am an oxymoronic enigma


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Re: Change.How do you deal with it?How you can deal with it? - August 30th 2009, 12:25 PM

I hate change. It's awful, I'm not coping with a big change I'm going through but the more I pull myself together, the more I hate the person who did this to me so I'm getting there, slowly.
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Re: Change.How do you deal with it?How you can deal with it? - August 30th 2009, 02:10 PM

I'm terrible with change. I usually freak out like a lot and I feel all off for a while. You get used to whatever's changed though, it just takes time.
   
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