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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
heythere Offline
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Talking around people - February 9th 2010, 03:45 AM

So I really didnt know where to post this sorry if its in the wrong spot.

Ok so I have a major fear of talking in front of people. Especially if its serious. I freeze up and just sit there. Im supposed to talk to somebody about some pretty serious stuff thats going on my life sunday and I dont know how to. I've been talking to her for awhile over text because im a chicken but I really need to break that habit.

So do you guys have any ideas how to make me feel more comfortable. She wants me to meet with her and actually talk. I've met with her and I just sat there for an hour and basically didnt say a word. But its not like i dont know her very well. I've known her for a bit now and shes my best adult friend and I can talk to her about anything but when it comes to something serious I clam up.

I really need to talk to her in person. Help?
   
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Re: Talking around people - February 9th 2010, 07:21 AM

Well, I know it's really hard to talk about things sometimes. But you're really strong for trying so hard.

One idea you might try is to write her a letter explaining some things to give to her when you get there and inviting her to talk to you and ask questions about it. I find it easier to respond tl someone else than to start a conversation.

You could also take notes to remind yourself what to say. If youpre just reading notes, getting started may be easier.

You could even talk about how hard it is to bring up these things and let her know youpre struggling, get a bit of support from her.

Whatever you choose to do, good luck. I really hope everything works out for you.

Take care


~Cody

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Ellie Offline
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Re: Talking around people - February 10th 2010, 03:35 PM

Oh my gosh, I could have written that myself. To be honest though, I also struggle to talk about personal things over text/writing as well. I think to be able to overcome anything you need to think about why you find it difficult. Have you ever thought about what it actually is that makes you find it so hard? E.g. is it seeing their reaction? saying the words out loud? or something else? Once you know, or at least have some idea, what you find so hard you're in a much better position to find a way around that. Again, for example if it is saying the words out loud you could try practicing saying it out loud to yourself first and then in a mirror and keep building up like that until you're able to say it to someone else.

Often if we have to talk about something difficult our mind goes blank, or it can be difficult to stay focused, or you might even not know how to put what you want to say into words. If you find this then writing some points of what you want to say down and take that with you. This is something that I've done before when speaking to my doctor and it does really help. You don't even have to look at what you've written when you're there but sometimes just knowing you've got it acts as a safety blanket and something there for you to fall back on.

I really hope that you are able to speak to your friend because it sounds like something that you need to do and it seems like they really care as well.
   
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Re: Talking around people - February 10th 2010, 10:20 PM

Well, just calm down, take a deep breath, remember nothing bad can come out of talking to people and remember it is an irrational fear you can overcome.
Just break the ice a little by asking her how she's doing, how her day has been, then go into conversation with starting to tell her about things that you need to get off your chest.
Talking to people really helps, I talk to people about problems in my life, people who can help me, and it really helps out alot just to know someone will listen, and someone cares.
   
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Re: Talking around people - February 18th 2010, 09:17 PM

Aww Kay, you can do it! Remember this person won't judge you and you can be helped!



I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons.
And maybe we’ll never know most of them.
But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from,
we can still choose where we go from there.
We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.

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Colyn Riley ♥
   
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Pelios Offline
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Re: Talking around people - February 18th 2010, 10:05 PM

One thing that could work is to tell her to turn her back on you and tell her things like that. Sometimes you are afraid because the person is actually looking at you and if she turns around it may actually work.


Everyone is born right-handed. Only the greatest overcome it.
   
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