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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ThePunkAlien Offline
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Being Home versus Feeling Home (Location matters) - March 15th 2009, 06:29 AM

I sincerely believe there's a difference between being home or being at college which becomes termed as "home" and feeling at home.

I spent most of my life in suburbia upstate New York. All my life I've felt like an alien from a destroyed planet. Nothing made sense. I had a couple of friends, but other than that I was frozen in time just going through the motions. Nothing life changing happened but constant shit. I always dreamed of starting over - I thought it had to do with schools... but, nothing changed.

I went to college hoping for a new start. Still nothing happened. This time I had no friends. The summer of my sophomore year I went to Los Angeles.

In LA for the first time in my life something clicked. I felt home. I wasn't home, but I felt what home was supposed to feel like for the first time in my life. I was an alien for most of my of my life, but I finally found my home planet. It was like a shift in chemicals within me. A constant feeling of ecstasy. Through that month I became more outgoing and made my first friend since I was five years old.

When I came back I felt and now feel like most of my life I spent in hell, then I caught a glimpse of heaven and was thrust back to hell to wait in purgatory until I can get back there.

This summer I'm going back down there for two months. Already, I have numerous friends now all going to or already in LA. In fact, I have more friends and potential friends down there than I ever had in my whole twenty-one years.

This has brought me to the conclusion that there's a serious difference between being home and feeling home. Being home is just a location and if you don't stray from it, you come to think that that's what feeling home is like. I didn't go to LA to find home, I just went there to learn over the summer and in the process found where I belonged. In a sense feeling that (which feels like a constant 24/7 orgasm, release of the best kind) in a way I've been corrupted into seeing college and my hometown as purgatory which is slightly confusing to since my family's alright and the few friends I had were cool - but nothing could kick that outsider feeling until I reached LA.

I don't know if the above makes any sense. But, basically what I learned is that there's a strong difference in location alone of being home and feeling home - when you feel home, you know it, it's undeniable...
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Being Home versus Feeling Home (Location matters) - March 15th 2009, 08:58 PM

For me my house and my town is home because it's where I grew up, which is how I class "home". There are places where people say "Make yourself at home" and I can, but it's not MY home.

Location wise, I dunno .. I suppose it depends how long I'm in a place. I haven't really experienced a feeling like you have yet.




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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Being Home versus Feeling Home (Location matters) - March 15th 2009, 09:00 PM

I consider 'feeling home' at my parents place, not 'being home' my flat.

When I was in hospital I was in their so long, I considered that place 'feeling home'


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Being Home versus Feeling Home (Location matters) - March 15th 2009, 11:31 PM

I'm going to move this to General as the focus seems to be more about being at "home" then actually anything religious wise. If anyone disagrees, feel free to move it back.


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Re: Being Home versus Feeling Home (Location matters) - March 15th 2009, 11:42 PM

i think i know what you mean. I've lived my entire life in the same house, so this is the only "home" ive ever known, but all my life ive felt like im missing something. and it feels like nothing ever happens here and my life is just a constant cycle. last summer i spend 6 weeks in san francisco doing pre-college courses, and it felt....right. i felt like i was supposed to be there. then i had to come back to highschool and i felt like i was re-entering hell. im graduating in a couple months and im hoping that that will all change once i get to college, but im so sure...


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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Being Home versus Feeling Home (Location matters) - March 16th 2009, 04:08 AM

I've only lived in one place my whole life, but really, it doesn't feel like much of a home to me. My house kinda creeps me out (a lot, I don't sleep in my bedroom o.o). I was at a friend's house for the first time about a month ago, and honestly, I felt SO at home there, it was weird. It was a combination of about four or five friends that I like a LOT, and then her aunt was really nice, and the house itself was just very home-ey and warm and comfy, and the whole area was nice--like, we were walking around at 12 am without feeling weird or afraid. I don't know, it was just one of the best places I've ever been with some of the best people, and it was awesome.
   
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Re: Being Home versus Feeling Home (Location matters) - March 16th 2009, 04:13 AM

I think of home as any place where I can say and do whatever I like without being judged for it. Usually when I have my own place and I'm around close friends I feel at home. I also feel very at home on the water.

By nature I feel the need to move around a lot unless I'm with people I'm really close with. If that's not an option I like to travel/wander around or sail. Those things give me that "at home" feeling for a certain amount of time.


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Re: Being Home versus Feeling Home (Location matters) - March 16th 2009, 04:38 AM

Being at home is my house. Feeling home, though, is not so much a location, as being close to the person i care about most.


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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Being Home versus Feeling Home (Location matters) - March 16th 2009, 01:54 PM

I feel at home when I'm surrounded by family.... It doesn't tend to matter to me where this is, as my mother has her house, my father his, and my sister hers.
Of all three, my mother's is where I grew up, and feel most comfortable, but all three are like my own homes.
I do live in uni halls just now, which are not so great, I don't feel at home, perhaps next year when I move in with friends, it will feel more like home.
And, home, as they say, is where the heart is.


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Re: Being Home versus Feeling Home (Location matters) - March 16th 2009, 03:49 PM

My house is not my home. I'm at home when I'm with the family of a friend of mine, which has shown me far more love and concern than my real family.

There is a disparing difference between house and home.


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  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Being Home versus Feeling Home (Location matters) - March 24th 2009, 11:17 PM

I've never felt home at my house.... even when i was little, i always was on my best behavior, and couldn't relax. now, i feel at home at my boyfriend's house... its a very nice feeling!!!



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Re: Being Home versus Feeling Home (Location matters) - March 25th 2009, 12:10 AM

Oh, I totally agree! I feel like I'm home at my house and I did at my first two houses, but my third house was not home at all!


   
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Re: Being Home versus Feeling Home (Location matters) - March 25th 2009, 02:09 AM

I guess I could feel at home anywhere, as long as I was with my family. We've rented houses while on vacation and it became 'home' for me, but not because of the time spent there.
There is a difference between being home and feeling home, but they can often be confused. Home will always feel like home even when my family is not around, but going someplace with them can also feel like home. It's a weird feeling.


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Re: Being Home versus Feeling Home (Location matters) - March 25th 2009, 08:59 PM

I've always had that sense of home at my house, but I've realized that it's only because my family is here with me. I've never liked the city I live in, and to be quite honest I too have felt really out of place here my whole life. Newfoundland, is where I feel at home. My family is from there so ever since I was born I would spend all my summers there and it gives me the most overwhelming sense of comfort. It is my home, and I know that I will always go back there, which is more than I can say for the town I currently live in/grew up in.


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