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Recovery Stories Recovery can be a long and difficult path, and we may forget to rejoice in our accomplishments. Share your recovery stories here, from self harm, to drug, or alcohol addictions, and anything else you are proud of.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Its.Just.Angie Offline
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Talking This is my story! :) - January 18th 2014, 04:10 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

This might not be a "recovery" story but to me it is. I'm not fully recovered, I'm still working on it, but this year I'm stronger than ever I was for the longest time! To me that's my definition of recovery!

Well it all started middle school. 7th grade to be exact. I had to switch schools. And I was extremely shy. And I was "bigger" than most of the other girls. And unfortunalty I was a target... For bullying... I was always called a freak, fat ass, unloved, told that I should kill myself, slut, etc. everyday. I had friends, but none of them knew what was going on when I had to walk alone in class people were so cruel to me. I didn't know how to react and so I just stand there and let me. My whole self esteem crushed. I felt so awful that NO ONE should ever experience. No one no matter how cruel they were should never experience that pain. It breaks my heart that people do suffer like I did and even experience even more than I have. It's so sad..

Then all my friends in middle school... We always had drama more and more. I couldn't get other friends because I was afraid to be rejected by others.. So I stayed and took the drama. They all said they hated me and stuff. But I still took it and all the fights we had... Then I was destroyed.. I started SH.. Then and I was really suicidial..

I really liked this one guy.. (Only a couple people knew about it) and then you know the secrate came out.. He was a really nice guy and we talk and stuff. Until it the secerate came out. He was so rude and started rumors and stuff. And said stuff.. I was torn.. Apart.. I lost all hope and I couldn't trust nobody.

I transfer schools the next year. And it was a lot better for me. I was still all shattered and stuff. I started to lose weight (heathly way) and I was actually ok the way I looked, but people were so concerned after awhile because I cutted back so much To me it was the healthy way, but people didn't know that. People said I looked great and stuff, but people were suspicious why I was eating Healthy all the time. I went to [Edited.] to a [Edited.] and I was so proud of myself about it. But people said if I kept it up they will tell someone. So I didn't know what to do than I kinda gave it up and balanced it more.

I still had hardly any friends, and I totally isolated myself tho because I was so afraid it was gonna happen to me again. And my best friend through all this time I meet in 1st grade gotten mad at me for switching schools and I totally lost her. -_- I was so broken and I made my legit attempt to die.. I had pills in my hand and my mom came into the room so it kinda spoiled my plan. But it didn't stop me tho I tried suffocating myself and I had no luck. Which was probably a good thing.

Then high school came. For the first semester was great I joined the activities I had done before (volleyball and softball) I was so happy that I made really good friends and I was a lot more out going and stuff. But I always had fears of them betraying me and stuff, but that didn't stop me. I still struggled a lot but I thought I was getting better. Until I was harassed by my "friends" big time. I kinda went back to that awful place. We were in a science group together. They wanted me to be in there group, so I did. When we were trying to set up they kept on saying I was doing stuff wrong.. I said how I'm so useless I was. It be brought me back to that one awful time.

After I got over that my dog who was basically my best friend. Was having seizures and was suffering. We ended up putting him down.. I was heart broken and after he died the drama came right back... It wasn't as bad but every fight, I came back to that bad place. And stuff

10th grade (this year right now) I was really stressed all the time. My SH was really noticable during my volleyball season. One of my team mates who used to SH asked me about it. I made my excuse.. But you know it's hard to lie to another SH persons because you make the same excuses for it. And then she found out about it. She told the school councelor. I ended up admitting I SH and stuff and told her what happen to the school councilor. My parents found out. As of right now I'm in therapy and on medication and stuff.

I'm doing so much better now I can be legitaly happy and stuff and the help from the therapist is working better than I thought. And I still struggle time to time, but hey I'm not as suicidial as I was and I don't cut as I used to and yeah

I want to tell to all you guys who are struggling I want to tell you it gets ALOT better as time goes on it gets better and I hope you find that out from my story and later on when it does Just remember rainbow comes after storms Thanks you guys for reading this and hope you get better as well sorry it is a long one! But I could go on and on!

Feel free to PM/VM me anytime

Last edited by LlamaLlamaDuck; January 20th 2014 at 12:54 PM. Reason: Please don't post calorie numbers! :) -Just taking out your clothing sizes as they aren't allowed either. :)
   
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Re: This is my story! :) - January 18th 2014, 05:34 PM

Wow you definitely have come along ways. I'm sorry to hear about what you've gone through in your life. I can relate to the bullying and feeling unloved, etc. Glad to see you've come so far, I hope you continue to grow stronger and finally totally break free of it all. Keep it up!


Can't stop now, I've traveled so far. - Foreigner

I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance. - Garth Brooks


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Re: This is my story! :) - January 18th 2014, 11:04 PM

I'm really glad that you are at least trying to recover and have gotten really far with it! Even though you're not fully recovered it is amazing to hear that you are working on it and making progress, that's what matters. You can do it!


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Re: This is my story! :) - January 18th 2014, 11:38 PM

I'm so glad you're on the road to recovery! That's great news! I just talked to my teacher and counselor and they told my parents about my self harm, and they got me therapy too. I'm so excited to hear about your progress, you're so strong and you can totally do this! Keep it up!


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Re: This is my story! :) - January 20th 2014, 01:22 PM

It's great to see you progress to be better! I salute you for being strong and giving yourself what you truly deserve: a chance of recovery. I hope all goes well with your path to recovery




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Re: This is my story! :) - February 3rd 2014, 11:04 PM

That's really great to hear. And you're right, you are recovering. I'm so glad you have faith in yourself, and so do we. Keep up the good work, you deserve to be happy!
   
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