Triggering (SH): One year today <3

[lauren_160]

So, Hey it's been a while right, i don't know if any of you still remember me, i took a break a while back for exams and what not and have been busy with university applications, whoa who'd of thought it, i never thought i'd live past the age of 15, look at me now, 18 the other day, one year self harm free, never thought i'd see the day, i don't know if any of you remember my story, i had a pretty tough childhood, i was raped at the age of 7, molested by my neighbor for a year aged 9, my brother was a drug addict who used to hold knives to my throat. and beat me, pretty much the ultimate dysfunctional family, all this didn't really hit me until i was like 12, when everyone started talking about sex, and who they wanted to lose their virginity to, and then came the ultimate question i got asked aged 12 "are you a virgin" i had no idea what to answer, because no i wasn't, but then i didn't want people to know how dirty and shameful i was, i went home that day and cut my arm with a knife, it felt good, for the next 5 years i was hooked, like using self harm as a type of self release, i couldn't go a day without cutting, repeatedly, i got set in my routine just before i went to bed i'd slash myself to pieces, i'd cry non stop. ,wanting help, but too scared to reach out to anyone, Then i found this place, and you lovely people, over 2 years Ive been here now, that first year was the toughest, gcses, starting sixth form, and i honestly didn't think i was going to make it, but Jan 29th 2009 i set my goal, i was going to new York at the end of march, and i dint want any cuts on my body by that point, just having that one goal, helped me through, new York came and went, but i didn't want to waste my 2 months, so i kept struggling through, im not going to lie, it's the hardest thing I've ever done, but one year on, i can happily say i'm self harm free, Yeah i still suffer from depression, quite badly sometimes, but i've just got a new outlook on life, like whats the point in being sad, life's to short, so go out, have fun, and you know what, my scars get me down a lot, im covered in them, but they show how strong i've been, and how i've been through this struggle, and came out the other side laughing, i'll always have the marks to prove it, and i still get sad how much of my childhood was wasted, but you know what, seriously, lifes to short, live it up while you can :)
I hope everyones doing well, <3 xxx

[Magical Forest.]

I am so proud of you, Lauren! That's such an amazing achievement, and to do it whilst things were tough is an even greater one!
I hope that you are able to continue with this, and I'm sure that you will

xx

[Emzy]

Well done ;D

[.Brittany.]

Well done! Keep it up!

[DivingCheska]

Congrats. I know how hard this is considering I'm coming up on 3 years soon. It takes amazing strength and power to give it up and not give into urges soo yeah well done.

[Imagine]

Good Job!
You should be really proud of yourself.

[honeycake]

Well done big