There is hope. =]

[Simplyme7]

I just wanted to share this with you guys. I know that sometimes life feels like it isn't worth living. Believe me, I've been there. And it wasn't very long ago either.

All my life, I've had problems with being alone. If I was alone I'd start getting depressed. I hated being alone. I also would get upset at the drop of a hat. And when I would get upset, I couldn't stop it My mother would always tell me "You decide your mood." But the thing was, I couldn't decide my mood. It was like my mood controlled me. I would get so upset that I would physically harm myself, or make threats to kill myself. I never actually tried, but I came very close many times.

I was always exhausted. I didn't want to do anything. I just didn't want to exist. So, I went to the doctor, and he wanted to put me on an anti-depressant.

I didn't want to. I was scared. I mean, I'd heard so many stories. Of how they just made you feel numb. Of how they made suicidal thoughts worse. I had heard all of these scary stories, and I did NOT want to go on an anti-depressant.

So instead, I had my doctor put me on Yaz to try and help it. Only thing is, it didn't help at all. I kept trying to make excuses that it was helping, but the honest truth was, I was just as bad as I've always been. With the bad days always outweighing the good. Finally, my boyfriend convinced me to try the anti-depressant.

I'll admit, at first I was scared. But I went to the doctor, and he prescribed me Citalopram (generic for Celexa). The first few weeks, nothing had changed. But my doctor also told me that that would happen. I even had one really bad episode where I decided that the thing wasn't working, and that I just needed to quit it. However my boyfriend talked me into staying on it.

And I must tell you, now that I've been on it for almost a month, it has made all the difference in the world. I can be alone now, and I enjoy it. I like having time to myself. And if I get upset over something, I CAN change my mood. I have literally got upset over something, and then I had this thought. I told myself, "I've had a good day up till now, and I'm not going to let this one little thing ruin it." And you know what? It worked.

I have NEVER been able to do that before. It is the most amazing feeling.

I have so much more energy now. And I'm in a good mood. I just feel, normal. I don't always feel like I'm going to fall into that depression at the drop of a hat anymore. I feel amazing.

I just wanted to share this with you guys. Because I've been where you are. I know what it feels like to want to kill yourself. I know what it feels like to always feel on edge, like at any moment you might fall into it again. I know what it feels like to have no hope.

But the thing is, there IS hope.

I was afraid to take an anti-depressant. I was afraid of what people would think. I was afraid that it would make me feel numb, or worse. But it didn't.

It made me feel so much better. It has helped me so much that it amazes me. I am so glad that I finally faced my fears and tried it. It is probably one of the best things I have ever done for myself.

So, there is hope. Don't give up. You CAN get through this.

Feel free to PM me anytime about anything.

Take care. =]

[Kira-Kira]

this is an amazing story there is hope and im going throu the same thing right now but i know i can get throu it and it is possible

[*Jen*]

You are such an inspiration that things can get better! I am on citalopram as well but I am still quite up and down so I do wonder if it works but I think I am better than before I went on it. I am so happy for you though that you have managed to turn things around for yourself because that is such a difficult step to take but you have done it!. Keep smiling

[Awakening]

Thank you for sharing that with us It's awsome that you're doing so well!

[Kitty.]

This is such a wonderful story! I'm very happy for you.

[MegaMadness]

Your amazing

[Celestial.]

Stories like this really do give me hope. I'm glad things are going so well for you. It's great you have someone as caring as your boyfriend to help you through this. You sound like a really sweet person, and you definitely deserve to feel this good. Take care.

[Spellbound]

This is truly inspiring. I'm beyond glad that things have turned around for you. Your story has definitely given me, and I'm sure others, hope. Stay strong and take care. <3 x

[BECCALICIOUS!]

I'm so glad for you. This makes me excited to try my new antidepressant in a few weeks. I know exactly what you went through. Ahh! Yay hopefulness!

[Imagine]

Great story., Very inspirational

[Jaden89]

Awesome story, this is definitely inspirational. Thanks so much for posting!

[MagicX]

Thank you so much for sharing this story with everyone. It takes a lot of courage to step out of our comfort zones to share personal experiences like this.