Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Calaer]

I hate the way you act towards me.

[.Brittany.]

I'm not happy, I want to cut so badly. I just want to hide in my bed for a while.

Dead inside...

[Silvan]

Why does it always have to end the same way? I can feel happy, relaxed, whatever, and just when it seems everything got better something makes me feel like shit again...
It's so tiring and draining, I was so uncontrollably furious at it a second ago, but now you know what? I don't even feel anything.

[nothereanymore]

I'm a fucking joke.

[Calaer]

I hate how it always feels a thousand degrees in my house. Bleh.

[Silvan]

I was there when you needed me the most, and you were there when I needed you the most. But then you made a promise and disappeared without a word.
Did you simply leave me, just like he did years ago?

[Everglow.]

I miss you to much.

[Kintsukuroi.]

Ugh. Sister's friend left her hamsters cage open last night and we have spent the day tearing apart her room and bathroom and every other room/closet/cupboard on that level with no luck. There's no evidence that one of the cats got him but he is literally nowhere to be found. Fantasticccc.

[Kate*]

I'm done trying to live with this, it's been nothing but a fight that will never prove worth it.

No, you can't blame people for being too sensitive just because you want to be a complete ass hole for no reason with no consequences. People are vile sometimes. The "real world" is the way it is because of the way YOU act. You could change, it doesn't have to be like this. It's this way because one day somebody decided to make it like this.

I don't care if you're almost a therapist, you don't speak for the entire mental health community, and you sure as hell don't speak for me! I was almost a therapist too. As sick as it makes me, your attitude should fit right in.

Please God, please tell me I'm NOT getting sick.

[roseegirl]

Why do you have to be such a fucking asshole? Cant you see that I am not ok and I need someone but no you are just going to leave again.

[Thinking]

I am a moron. If this little mistake in exam today is the cause of my failure of my future, I will blame myself forever.

I am so stupid. Why can't I even fucking read the question... I am so scared I will screw everything because of this

[Calaer]

I hate being so anxious and stressed out all the time. It fucking sucks.

[nothereanymore]

It'll be agonizing but at least I'll die

[FallonRose]

I might get my food stamps taken away because I got a 50 cent raise. Sigh..

[Thinking]

Fml I failed my maths exam again today. I have no words to describe how fucked up I am.

[MWF]

Originally Posted by FallonRose

I might get my food stamps taken away because I got a 50 cent raise. Sigh..

That sucks so bad. Governor Brownback is Satan in the flesh.

[Calaer]

I don't want to be around you. I just want you to leave me be. Please.

[nothereanymore]

I've told you I don't want to be touching anybody's underwear but you keep me doing your laundry and saying it's silly. No, it's not. Jesus Christ.
I'm tired. And low. And I've never used the tiller. And it's hard to breathe in 100 fucking percent humidity. And it sounds like a bunch of excuses and maybe it is, but I don't want to be scolded, especially when I JUST apologized to you.
I hate being here. I wanna go home.

[Kate*]

The joys of anxiety keeping you up all night for no reason. And it still hasn't gone away!

If I read that "wrong" so did most of the others who commented. Are you going to argue with all of them too?! Why do it to me? Get a life

Some people should not be behind the wheel of a car, taking a left turn as a person crosses its path with the driver's consent, and be on the phone at the same time. Thanks, twat-turd. Wasted fifteen minutes of my counseling session having my counselor trying to get my anger under control.

[nothereanymore]

I don't have the right to have a problem with the way someone treats me because I'm not perfect. When I cry because I've been pushed to the edge, I need to get a handle on my emotions. I'm expected to accept the way people treat me but no one ever has to do the same for me. I don't think I'm asking for much. But apparently I am. I'm a coddled little baby.
they won't be saying that when they're cleaning me up off the train tracks

[hocus pocus]

Writer's block sucks. I really need to write to express what is inside my head but I feel stuck.

[MWF]

I got pink eye again because of motherfucking Flint water. GODDAMMIT I HATE YOU RICK SNYDER
Edit: lol after looking at my ironic signature

[Celyn]

I have a headache and feel sick. I feel completely exhausted. And yet I have no reason to feel this way. I just want to rush and get things done but I can't. I know it's bad for me, and I'll get stressed but I hate dragging things out.

How dare you. How fucking DARE you. You're a fucking monster. You try and make excuses, say it's about money, but let's be clear here: you're kicking a dying man out of the only place he has to live.

He's DYING, you asshole.

I don't understand how you can't have a heart. I don't understand how you could possibly do this. I hope it weighs on your conscience for the rest of your life and that maybe, one day, you'll think about what you've done.

[nothereanymore]

Holy shit I think my dad just saved my life

[Kate*]

It's going to happen, STOP OBSESSING over it. Do the best you can and let it go

Sometimes they hurt, sometimes they don't. As happy as I am for you, I wish it could've been me too.

[Silvan]

Jesus. Am I so fucking stupid or what? I gave up my grades to win that competition, and I thought I achieved everything I could by winning it, but now it turns out there was a way greater opportunity that I missed while studying to the competition? And now a scholarship in Thailand was given to a person who barely speaks English, when I devoted literally every free (and not free) second to studying to that fucking English competition that now seems good for nothing?

[nothereanymore]

I'm tired of this dominating my every waking thought.

[Everglow.]

Realising that I can't afford a postgrad degree.
Waste of my fucking life.

[Coffee.]

Everything is imploding.

[nothereanymore]

I can't believe you don't see what you're doing and that you think I'm just trying to put you in a little box. You fucking bitch.

[Silvan]

I can't sleep because I'm thinking of you. I've been thinking of you all the time! Why can't these thoughts just go away and leave me alone?

[nothereanymore]

I should've spent more time in inpatient. I should've been forced to slow down instead of being so anxious for the next step. I was as low as low gets. I should've been forced to stay until I was more open to healing, which wasn't gonna happen the day I swallowed the medicine cabinet. I was angry that I was alive and I just wanted to go home. I should've been there longer and I should've gotten a better experience in PHP. I think now that I'm not at rock bottom it'll do more good. There's no problem with stepping back - recovery isn't linear and it's not like you can't ever go back to previous treatments... I'm either going to kill myself before I go home next week, go home and get back into IOP, walk to the fucking hospital if I can't get back into IOP, or kill myself on the walk. Either way something drastic is gonna happen because gradually isn't cutting it anymore.

[daisy_jam]

There's this old dude that I bump into everyday and all he talks about is death, kill me

[nothereanymore]

Do I stay and give inpatient and PHP and IOP another chance or do I accept that full recovery is not possible for me and end it because I'm really not down to only be lacking balls here. Something has to give.

[Kate*]

It's not my fault you have a seriously fucked up idea of what RESPONSIBILITY for YOUR actions really means. Attacking me won't change anything either. If you want to make yourself look like an asshole it's on you.

Even if I gave up, they'd claim they weren't responsible. This shit doesn't happen in a vacuum people! You are capable of causing harm or pain to other human beings. Life would be so much easier if people understood that. God I hate humanity.

Tomorrow I have to get up early, go 45 minutes to a random place to talk to people for 1.5 hours so that, (if I'm lucky), I'll eventually get a crappy job I probably won't want. Should've just given up and applied for benefits. This is so fucking stupid and it's going to be a complete waste of my time.

I don't think I got a full hour straight of sleep. And what happened to never settling in life?! Anything I end up with now will be settled for. I can never have anything I really want.

I'm torn between hoping I qualify and hoping I don't. If they decide I won't benefit, then benefits it is.

[nothereanymore]

hours left

Edit: or not. Holy shit.

[Calaer]

I hate that I'm always put in these situations where I have to choose a side even when I don't want to, or when I'm being pressured to change my stance. I wish you'd just leave me be and let me do what I'm going to do.

[Ral.]

I want to change so many things. I tell myself I'm gonna do it and I'm constantly letting myself down.

Also being judged on your every attempt at bettering yourself is so much fun... Even more so when the person judging you still has such an impact on your life. I need to get over this and start to see this person's true colours but it's so hard.

Just let go.