Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Tigereyes]

I can't handle this. It's nearly the last two weeks of the semester, but that means it's about to be two weeks of hell, and I just don't have the energy (mentally, emotionally, physically, and otherwise) to pull through this anymore. I'm keeping myself away from caffeine so I can take full advantage of it to study for finals because there's no other way to get through this. Healthy people live off of caffeine. I'm not like them, so how can I NOT live off of caffeine? I really need caffeine now to get through this week, but I'll need it more later, and it's too early to build a tolerance because last time, it stopped working. But I can't keep going anymore, and there's still so much left to do. My mind can't take it. My body can't take it. No one understands. My parents are expecting a 4.0 again because I've pulled it off before, but it is 100% impossible to get an A in one of my classes, and I'll be lucky to get a B, but I'd rather die trying than give up. Friends have one tough semester, and say they admire me for doing this to myself semester after semester, but they shouldn't. I've started telling them not to do this to themselves, not to be like me. Because it destroys you. If you can find that one hour in your day for free time, please keep taking it. I wish I could. Don't do to yourself what I'm doing to myself.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

I want to die

[Mirabelle]

I accepted a Greek coffee. Arggh it was so strong I nearly chucked up O__O

[Everglow.]

I can't do it all! There is so much back log and it will never get done if you don't leave me to it. The very least you could do if you do need me to help you is appreciate it after instead of expecting it to take priority over everything else. I'm only one person and I'm so close to giving the fuck up.

Watch me get it and fail because I'm stuck with jerks.

No one has faith in my ability to do this.

[Nala.]

I feel like I have a fever now.

[nothereanymore]

You fucking ruined me

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

What guy in their right mind would want to be with a girl like me? I'm ugly, fat, a failure, a burden, a nuisance, worthless, useless, and worth more dead than alive. There is no feeling worser than the feeling I got when I overheard the guy I had a crush say that all girls at this college are ugly and fat. Even though this incident happened when I was in college, I still think about it all the time.

I'm wishing I could make myself believe I was worth something.

I wish I could believe that I mattered.

I want to give up on things and just live the way I have but I want more at the same time.

[Kate*]

I definitely think I'm getting sick, allergies don't cause body aches. I was hoping I had escaped the flu!

[nothereanymore]

When I think you might be making an inappropriate joke about the two of us, and I realize that wouldn’t surprise me, you should know you fucked up. How can you defend a child molester? How can you tell me that the fact that he’s your son is more important than him hurting me?

I am struggling so much that my support and advice is lacking. Maybe I should just disappear.

My parents are fighting tonight, what's happening to them?

If I hang out with friend's I probably won't finish my book. I think I'll go anyway since I have to sit around a bit tomorrow anyway.

Something I ordered was slightly disappointing and I feel like I wasted my money. Of course, I can't get refunds.

Something I have coming in the mail isn't coming till Saturday and I hate my dad and his partner seeing me get packages. My dad doesn't care but sometimes I feel like my dad's partner judges me. It only bothers me this time because I technically don't have the money that I spent. I don't feel like explaining that I had a minor shopping spree this month (not so minor) and used my credit card. It makes me embarrassed.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

Even when I'm right, I'm always wrong and I'm the bad person. Even when the other person is clearly in the wrong, I'm always in the wrong and I'm the bad person.

[Kate*]

Paranoia and distrust of the mail saves the day again. They'll still have it by the deadline, but if I don't get billed or can't figure out how to pay them, then I'm going to have to wait some more. And I have a cold, but at least my throat doesn't hurt anymore and maybe I'll get lucky and it'll be short like the last one was.

What's the point

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

Thanks for reminding me of how much of a failure I am. I will never be good enough for anything.

Not sure how I feel about all of this. It doesn't seem fair

[Lunar]

I hate the fact that I always feel bad because of you.

I seem to have a really bad dissociative episode once a year. I don't think it's around the same time but it could be. I wonder if there is a trigger?

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

I wish I can have just one day where something doesn't go wrong.....

[TraitorBaby]

I swear to god I saw you in the s quadrant, Texas the 28th..you were standing right there, with the flag, right in front of me...
I know you'll probably never see this but I want you to know that I am so proud. I miss you, more than anything. And I'll still love you, no matter what you do...

-your clc

Why are you talking to me about this? She's the one that gave me the binder. If you should be upset with anyone it's her. It's not my fault she gave it to me without asking for permission and I shouldn't get blamed for it.

Speaking of which, you're really fucking awful at communicating between people. First the party thing, then the OTHER party thing, and now the binder. You've really got to make sure you're talking to everyone before you do stuff/make plans with people.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

I can't take living in this house anymore. I would rather die than keep living in this household.

Always second best

[fairyviolet75]

ARGH I really don't want to go to my singing lesson and I hate it that people just heard me sing because i am honestly not good so i want to kill them then me

I hate when conversations repeat in my head and I realize how stupid someone was and I get angry.

I'm nervous and feel like a failure

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

Don't say you care when you really could careless what happens to me.

Anxiety is bad right now. Need to calm down.

Having thoughts again. Panicking.

[TraitorBaby]

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
I jyst want peace. Why are you so damn stupid? Why do you have to make everyone else miserable? Why can't you just fucking listen?! Even the dogs do that.
You know you shouldn't have come. He didn't even want to see you, and you ruined all the time he had. I can't believe how much you disgust me.

[Kintsukuroi.]

Why am I even awake still. Oh, right... Because who needs sleep? Apparently not this girl.

[hocus pocus]

I just don’t want to do today.

My anxiety is bad again. Just need to get through tomorrow

[TraitorBaby]

I woke up to find my phone open to a new thread about his physical abuse and anger issues. Getting really close to contacting the police.
I just want to go home, where ever that is.

I'm not okay today

[Fanatic]

Even though I graduated from college, I have to re-do my semester :/ It doesnt feel like I'm done at all. Im worried about my health because probably I'm pre-diabetic again. Im forced to leave my psychologist and look for a cheaper one. Who knows when that will take...I have food anxiety all the time and there are times when I dont eat. I dont have a job and I dont know where my future will take me at all. It feels like I have no future and that I want to just die already..

[Kate*]

Headache all day and work 5 days in a row, but at least I get my birthday off and then 4 hour shifts for a week.

I want this birthday to be somewhat special, and I have the day off, but I can't decide what I want to do or eat.