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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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Re: Screaming thread. - May 30th 2018, 02:46 PM

I can't do anything right. There is so much stuff I want to do, but I know very well that they will never come to fruition. No one wants me to succeed. They would rather belittle, bully, undermine me, and overall, make me feel like a nobody. I'll never get married or have kids or experience alot of things most people experience before they are an adult (for example, first kiss, first relationship, etc.).

One day it will become too much and I will reach my breaking point.....




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Re: Screaming thread. - May 30th 2018, 03:24 PM

My breathing has been bad the past few days and it's annoying because I have to start working on Monday. I am worried it will get in the way of me doing a good job.
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Re: Screaming thread. - May 30th 2018, 05:56 PM

I need to break now.
Why is my threshold for stress so high. I need a good cry and a good sleep and then I'll be ok but I can't get either of them so I'm left feeling drained and snappy.


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Re: Screaming thread. - May 30th 2018, 08:25 PM

I am pretty sure my anxiety is going to keep getting worse up until Monday. I knew this would happen which is why I ended up doing what I could to get things done before the weekend! At least I have my psychiatrist appointment on the 1st.
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Re: Screaming thread. - May 30th 2018, 10:48 PM

The extra time isn't getting me any further, so either it's getting worse, or I'm moving slower.


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Re: Screaming thread. - May 30th 2018, 11:44 PM

No matter what I do or how hard I try, everything I touch just falls apart.




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Re: Screaming thread. - May 31st 2018, 02:32 AM

Anxiety is high right now.
I know what the trigger is and all that will fix it is time.
Time to realize things won't be as overwhelming as I fear but what if they are? What if I fail
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Re: Screaming thread. - May 31st 2018, 03:23 AM

Forgot to put hours in right for next week, fuck graduation and practice cant work as much and im not even graduating this year. So less hours less money, fuck me. Now my brain is being an asshole I want to stop thinking about her. I was fucking fine, now its back again. I don't care about her truly its just because I'm lonely and my brain is trying to find any cheap remedy, even such as going back to that bitch. Best part is work training with her next week. Then I have the SAT this weekend. I'm ready to fucking leave, I'm tired of this shitty town and just about everyone in it.


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Re: Screaming thread. - May 31st 2018, 03:48 AM

The closer I get to working the more unhealthy my ED voice gets.
I keep hearing a voice reminding be how much weight I could lose if I just skip a few meals.
It worked in the past ... but look what that accomplished? I got really sick and no one would take it seriously.
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Re: Screaming thread. - May 31st 2018, 06:47 AM

2 shifts down, 3 to go including a Saturday, then I FINALLY get to see my therapist, get a break, and go back to short shifts.

I don't miss 6 hour shifts one bit,this week is dragging like crazy!


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Re: Screaming thread. - May 31st 2018, 04:13 PM

I don't know why I can't be normal. Things are going well and I had a suicidal thought. I started thinking it would have been better if I hadn't reacted so quickly to that event.
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 1st 2018, 02:49 AM

Get out of my head. Get. Out. Of. My. Head. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!


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I believe in answers, just not today

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Re: Screaming thread. - June 1st 2018, 04:08 AM

I think I might be getting sick. That's a great day to end the week since I start work the 4th and cannot miss the first 2 days
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 1st 2018, 10:15 AM

I need to be okay with asking questions and turning something down if it doesn't end up working. I don't actually need it.
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 1st 2018, 10:43 PM

Good news: I did my computer training
Bad news: It put me SERIOUSLY behind going into the weekend. And I want chips, but no one uses the vending machine and I'm afraid it's broken


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Re: Screaming thread. - June 2nd 2018, 02:42 AM

I am scared. Something is wrong but I don't know what
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 2nd 2018, 02:43 AM

I hate everything right now!
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 2nd 2018, 02:59 AM

Take off the merchandise you aren't supposed to try on, get out of the stock you aren't supposed to be ransacking, get off your fucking phone, and parent your God damn, running, screaming, and climbing children. What the fuck is WRONG with people?!

I paid my insurance early and paid off my second loan, but it's going to be tight for awhile. I still have a cushion, but not much of one. I did factor in my insurance payment first though


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Re: Screaming thread. - June 2nd 2018, 04:00 AM

I feel dizzy and sick to my stomach. The world is crashing around me. I am worried that you are sick. I am worried that my life will never be the same. I realize this is irrational thinking
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 2nd 2018, 11:17 AM

I wish you would talk to me about what is going on. I don't get this behavior
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 2nd 2018, 05:11 PM

I hate the fact that you're sitting here judging me. You have no right. You aren't better than me. You have no idea.
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 2nd 2018, 05:41 PM

Think I'm finally reaching breaking point. I'm either going to crumble or explode soon and I don't know how to stop myself. Shit.


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Re: Screaming thread. - June 3rd 2018, 02:28 AM

I cried because of the number on the scale, surprisingly never done that before. I’m not sending the weekly check in and meal log to my therapist. She’ll think I’m relapsing (which I totally am, but I can’t see her in person for awhile so what’s the point of telling her now? I might as well get skinny again first).
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 3rd 2018, 02:29 AM

I hate people so damn much.


Certain degrees shouldn't be offered if there are no guarantees for money. DUDE really? Like, those degrees you are talking about are degrees that can offer a ton of money. The issue is the USA has a stupid education system and they require a shit ton of education....you have to go get a masters. In other countries a counseling degree is way fucking different, for example.
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 3rd 2018, 03:19 AM

The last 10 minutes on the Saturday of a 27.5 hour week, seconds after I found the full to the gills cart of crap I was supposed to put away while dealing with the table from hell and trying to finish it before leaving was the WRONG time for my manager to ask how I was! But, I've technically only complained twice in 10 months, and one of them was extremely reasonable, so they could hold it against me, but I'm guessing they won't.


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Re: Screaming thread. - June 3rd 2018, 07:12 AM

I will forever be angry that I was the one who got the call, that I was alone, and my dad hung up on me when I called and told him. I get that he was panicking but he couldn’t make sure I was okay? He had to hang up and leave me by myself?
you had to get high as hell and get in your car and kill my sister?
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 3rd 2018, 02:05 PM

In restless and just want to get the shopping done
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 3rd 2018, 06:14 PM

2.5 hours to get home today. I can't keep doing this I cant.


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Re: Screaming thread. - June 3rd 2018, 10:24 PM

I have to stay up till 930 or 10 so I don't wake up too early since I have work.
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 4th 2018, 05:56 AM

Just when I start getting tired (four hours too late) there’s a whole bunch of noise in the house. Nice.
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 4th 2018, 12:57 PM

Panicking a bit. I am sure it will be fine. I won't be late but should I bring the lunch box?
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 5th 2018, 02:52 PM

I've wound myself up and I don't know what about.
Snap out of it.


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Re: Screaming thread. - June 5th 2018, 06:51 PM

I'm bored. I want to do something and be active.
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 5th 2018, 07:22 PM

^ I agree, and I would like to add that I am tired as well.
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 5th 2018, 10:01 PM

What if the only reason I want to keep fighting is so that I don't keep hurting you by hurting myself?


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Re: Screaming thread. - June 5th 2018, 10:40 PM

I really don't want to go to work tomorrow.


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Re: Screaming thread. - June 6th 2018, 01:55 AM

Do I even matter?
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 6th 2018, 03:18 AM

I can't fucking make myself see anything good about myself! Trying to force that when I hate everything about myself just makes me hate myself more for not being able to see what you think I should be able to see. I'm not good enough for recovery.


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Re: Screaming thread. - June 6th 2018, 03:43 AM

What is it about me that guys do not like? Am I that ugly, fat, and disgusting? I am the ugliest, fattest, and most disgusting creature on this planet Earth.




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Angry Re: Screaming thread. - June 6th 2018, 08:40 AM

Ok my turn

I know you were lying about who you were talking to and I wasn't angry. Despite all the hurt you don't even know you've caused, I forgive you, but I'm disappointed that you left thinking I didn't know the truth. It makes me wonder, what else didn't I know?
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