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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"
Why do you have to spend so much time with her? I am moving out in a month just so she can move in. You'll be with her all the fucking time. I'm just pathetically trying to soak up what joy I can before we don't see each other as often anymore. Can you blame me for that?
It's stupid to be jealous of the fact that you respond and talk more to others than me. Of course you would have more in common and be closer to some and not others. And you say all the time that you're the worst texter, so I know not to expect you to answer. But, occasional acknowledgement would be nice, so at least I know you see what I'm saying to you.
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
I forgot your birthday. I didn't look at the calendar to remember. I'm so sorry. I hope you know I haven't forgotten you, and you've been on my mind so much. I miss you.
Why is there so much bullshit about suicide being a permanent solution to temporary problems? Because some damn problems ARE fucking permanent! My chronic illness is permanent! My debt might as well be permanent! Yeah, there are tenporary MAJOR problems too, like being fucking high risk during a fucking pandemic and having to quit my job in the middle of said pandemic to not die. But the trauma from the job and all my other traumas? Also fucking permanent!
"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
Why does everything have to keep getting worse?? I can't take it anymore. I can't fucking take it. I can't do it anymore. It's not worth staying alive for this. I can't. The pain is just too much and it'll never get better. No hope. Only pain and suffering and fear. It's time to go. One reason to hold on isn't enough when there's thousands of things so horribly wrong. Next time I get the chance, I might actually take it. I just have to make sure I don't fail. I don't want to survive an attempt.
"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
Also, work sent me a package with 10 face masks and a bottle of hand gel in it. Like that makes up for the fact I'm surrounded by people all day and not allowed to ask anyone to queue outside, and I'm not allowed to shut the door so that I can limit how many people are in store. Like cool it's really nice you've sent me these items, thanks, but what about the rest? That wont protect me from the 8 people I have surrounding the desk when I'm the only one in and we're not temperature checking or symptom checking every single person who enters. How the hell is that going to help me? I'm so angry with this company right now.
I don't want to die. I want the pain to stop. But it never will. So goodbye is the only way. I'm replaceable anyway.
I think I've lost the will to live this time. I'm calmly miserable and hopeless. Ready to go. People only care if I stay alive or not, not about my quality of life. I don't even want drugs because even they wouldn't kill this pain that's so heavy and deeply rooted inside. I just want it to end. I don't care how. Just that it does, and soon.
"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
Last edited by Tigereyes; July 4th 2020 at 02:57 PM.
It may not have been your job to encourage me, but that doesn't mean it was your job to break me. Being treated like I deserve for the first time in my life has shown me just how fucked up every other interaction was.
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
Do these people have an upper grade limit of 60% or something? How can you give me 60% and then offer me 72 words of feedback suggesting that the only improvement you could think of was to include sections in it? Are you trying to tell me I could have had an extra 40% added to my grade if only I'd included sub-headings? This whole stupid degree has been a waste of a year of my life and £10,000. I'm absolutely fuming especially considering I was actually PROUD of this essay for a change. How can you say this is constructive feedback? How the hell am I meant to know what to do better?
I know I shouldn't ignore this any longer but I don't want to bring it up to anyone. I don't want them to say I am "overreacting." Lots of times when I go to a doctor or the ER and there's nothing wrong with my vitals or whatnot they kind of imply that it's "in my head." I don't want that to happen again.
If people straight up tell you they aren't taking your suggestions, maybe you're doing something wrong or are the wrong person for them. I suspect based on that, that you're probably pushing too hard. Maybe try to learn from me instead of becoming defensive?
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte