Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Tigereyes]

Pain level 9-10 is just going to be ignored for weeks

[Mindfulness.]

I'm just so stressed out right now. There's so much going on and I have so much to do.

[Tigereyes]

I really wish I was dead. There is no relief of any kind for me in this world.

I am so sick of fucking anxiety. Fucking hell.

[Kate*]

It's stupid to be jealous, but here we are. Of course you would be closer to some and not others. But, why does it bother me?

I fucking hate myself right now.

[Everglow.]

Where has this night time anxiety come from? Why is it every night now? My whole body feels on high alert and I just want to sleep...

[Kate*]

You told me it was open and posted a similar job 2 MONTHS ago, how was I supposed to know. Now, the right one has been up for over a week and I just now realized you're willing to interview me for it without actually applying for it. I'm VERY confused.

He hasn't reached out to me in three days. Every instinct inside me is telling me something is wrong, because this is what always happens in this situation. And I know he isn't like the rest of them, but it's hard for me to see that this situation could be anything different. People love me and leave me. That's just my role in life. I only hold a temporary place in people's lives.

[Everglow.]

I feel really off today. I can't work out what it is.

[Mindfulness.]

Urgh, why do I take on more than I can chew?

Will I ever find love again?

[Everglow.]

IF YOU HAVE A FEVER DONT MAKE PLANS WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND NOT TELL THEM. Now all of the plans for next week are out the window potentially because you MIGHT have covid and may have passed it on. I dont know what to do now.

[Everglow.]

I didn't want a leaving do. I wanted to just go home and now I have to prolong socialising after work when I'm already going to be exhausted. And because it's technically my leaving do, I can't even be the first to leave. I'm just not feeling it..

[Kate*]

He is okay, I can calm down now. I figured out what my issue is and why it's so bad with him. As long as I know he's okay, he can flip the fuck out and shut down all he wants. And he's okay. Anxiety sucks

Hello Depression, my old friend.

[Everglow.]

So my mum thinks that anxiety isn't real and it's just an excuse for people to not do things. Trying to explain to her that, as a "functioning" person, who works, has friends, exists normally, anxiety is still a constant battle for me, without feeling like an exhibit, is hard work.

[Tigereyes]

I really wish I was dead. I wish I had killed myself 5 years ago.

[Mindfulness.]

I just don't want to feel this stress or anxiety anymore.

[Everglow.]

Had a good day and now all of a sudden the guilt and anxiety are back and I don't know why.

[Mindfulness.]

I just want to be where I want and need to be in my career.

[Kate*]

[color="Blue"]I went to just redo it, so I don't have to think about it anymore, and the new app is super confusing. So, now I look like an idiot. And, yes I'm still beating myself up over this. I know I shouldn't be and I know it's not going to matter in a week or so, but I can't stop thinking about it.

It's stress that should all be resolved relatively soon[ either way.

I'm not leaving, I'm just triggered as fuck by you right now. It'll come down./COLOR]

[Kate*]

2 more days of work, UGH. I need my vacation SO bad. But, at least it's requested correctly now. And depending if it went through the first time, I might get paid more.

[Everglow.]

Feels like I'm always the butt of a joke??

I probably shouldn't see my friend because he was exposed to someone who is not taking careful measures with COVID. It just sucks because I could really go for seeing a friend right now. It's been a hard few days.

[Kate*]

You're definitely not yourself just yet, and I feel like it was definitely me, and like I've been blocked by some people. Impulsive and/or emotional reactions are one thing, but blocking and ignoring me when I've apologized for things I did when I wasn't calm or rational is really immature. Especially because you know the hell of mental illness. I find it hard to believe you'd preach love and acceptance and then do that.

[Everglow.]

I don't want to go back to normal. I've had such a good week and now life is back to anxiety and work again.

[Everglow.]

I'm having a bad day and I miss you so much.

[Mindfulness.]

I just don't want to keep letting more people down. I want to be more motivated and to stop being stuck in this runt.

[Kate*]

I want to know, but probably because I just won't. I want in and it's not going to happen.

[Everglow.]

I miss you. So much. It hurts so much.

___

I don't want to go to work. I feel like every shift I'm a little bit closer to breaking down. Why did I agree to increase my hours? Ok the money will be better but it's not even worth it for the shit I go through there. Literally don't know if I can do this...

[Mindfulness.]

I wish people would stop taking the piss and just let me know one way or the other.

[Tigereyes]

Life is shit. It won't get better. I don't care if it will. The suffering of now and the past however many years is too much to hold on for a "maybe one day it'll get better." When? When I'm about to fucking die anyway? If I even life that long due to ignoring my health problems. Besides not wanting to hurt the few who care, why the fuck should I force myself to keep suffering Every. Fucking. DAy.

[MWF]

How fucking long am I gonna be unemployed? I've been at this since the beginning of April. Am I just gonna be on unemployment until the country collapses?

[Everglow.]

My grandad might have cancer. This year can actually do one I'm sick of it.

I've been walking around my apartment complex today. There's a lot of people out and NONE of them are wearing fucking masks! It makes me so fucking angry! This is a goddamn pandemic, people!

[Everglow.]

Shit day at work once again. I feel trapped in this. I have no other options. This job is making colleagues have actual nervous breakdowns and cry actual tears at the end of a shift and there's nothing we can do about it because complaints fall on deaf ears.

[Mindfulness.]

I just wish everything in my life was sorted and I'm not working in places where management isn't good.

[Everglow.]

This is going to be my life forever. I'm so over it.

[Tigereyes]

I wish I was dead. Most people don't care if I die. Want evidence? No one will wear a mask or social distance to protect me--someone they KNOW is immunocompromised. I'd just rather end my life quickly than let covid kill my slowly and painfully