Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

It's amazing how grown adults can act like children

[Kate*]

Ok fine, guess who's requesting a shit ton of weekend days off now!!!


If we could do the Thanksgiving thing without her that would be great. I know I sound like a horrible person when I say that, because it will eventually happen, but it's true. And I know that you all agree with me, you're just never going to say it.

You've learned well from her how to guilt trip. Unfortunately, I've seen my whole life what you've let it do to you, so it won't work on me. Also, I'm less than 6 months away from 30, so you can't "let" or "force" me to do anything anymore, even though I live here. The house rules don't include dealing with toxic relatives.

Ugh, I hate myself when I do this.

[London_grace]

I'm having a off day and a hard time eating all of my food.

I'm so uncertain.
I know what I want most days but I just feel so conflicted.
Please just kill me

I want my voice to come back!

[MWF]

I'm gonna be single for my entire life. If I'm still single when I'm 40, I honestly can't imagine a scenario where I don't kill myself...

I think I might need to walk away. This might be the one thing I am unable to handle.

[Silvan]

I hate it that I'm so weepy these days. Honestly when I'm at school I often feel tears welling up in my eyes and then even the smallest triviality can trigger me to cry. If it's a negative thing I cry because I'm upset and if it's a positive memory I cry because I miss it, it's horrible.

Sometimes I feel like you hate me.
Sometimes I feel like you don't see me.
Sometimes I just want to kill myself and I don't know how to tell you because I don't want you to blame yourself.

It's not worth the effort

The store didn’t carry my size and I’m trying not to cry. If I’m too small to wear size X, then I’m too small. I need to stop losing weight, but I can’t eat. I gained over Thanksgiving and I want to die. I’m terrified of gaining, and I’m terrified of losing. Maintaining makes me feel worthless. Maybe I do need to go through the program my counselor is talking about.

I just feel so ... broken. I don't even get anything that is going on.

Please stop!

Oh my god, if a cat is growling or hissing at you don't try and corner it, touch it. Growling and hissing is a WARNING, they want you to back off. I get you were scared that the cat was going to jump over the fence and not come home. But, you antagonized it and it bit you and scratched you. If you are going to have an animal do some fucking research!

Also, YELLING at the animal for having a natural reaction to fear, annoyance etc...is counterproductive. I mean...fucking dear god ... do some minimal research.

[Kate*]

When I finally get a break from work (which I have to cancel appointments for), it's only because I have jury duty (which I'm hoping I don't have t cancel appointments for) How the fuck do people work and schedule things at the same time?!

I can't breath. I can't do this. I can't lose you. I'm going too.

i woke up in a panic because I thought my dog’s paw was his hand on my thigh. This happened several nights ago and I’m still panicking and I finally ended up cutting. I don’t want to tell my counselor about this. I want to just run away because then I can dissociate without being told it’s unhealthy. I just want to be gone.

Pet Peeve time:

When people order something from a site and have an issue with the order. Instead of talking to customer service and trying to get the problem resolved...they complain and say things like "The site is shit..."

Some sites are shit and I don't buy from them but I only ever make that decision AFTER talking to customer service and trying to get the issue resolved.

I get that it's frustrating when something goes wrong ... but complaining isn't going to resolve the issue?

I mean, I do complain about things and I don't see anything wrong with it but to say a site is shit ....before trying to resolve the issue is really lame. If you want to let out your frustration with it cool...but to bash a site before trying to resolve the issue is ... pretty messed up especially because one of the businesses being bashed is a bit smaller and ... that could turn some people away and hurt a smaller business who actually has amazing things to offer and amazing customer service.

It's also really frustrating when they ignore people or are rude to people who say "Did you contact customer service? That site has great customer service and they will work with you to figure it out". I've seen this numerous times...it's to the point where I hardly ever suggest that any longer...but other people do.

[Kate*]

I officially hate children. If I hear "Mommy(multiple times), or hear a blood curdling scream for no reason ONE more time...!

Get a grip and grow up!

Please don't leave me. Please start doing what you need to.

[Kate*]

You forgot to fix my schedule, so I either showed up an hour late or took a break I wasn't supposed to. And I'm 99.9% sure I messed up my time card. Thanks

I REALLY don't want jury duty, or to take the bus and I just drank caffeine at 1 AM. I hope I only have to go the first day and then they'll dismiss me and I can go home and I won't have to do it again for 2 years.

I'm quite certain that I'm screwed

Why did I send that text? Jordan, you’re a dumbass.

Have felt so shitty today.
Please let tomorrow be better!

[Kate*]

Still don't want to do jury duty, but at least I don't have to take the bus! Seriously hoping that I don't have to go all 5 days. But, at least I'll get to sit down.

[nothereanymore]

There is no joy in being alive. This world is awful. Not a single thing worth living for.

I don’t want to go to counseling today because my actions in the past two weeks only further prove I’m incapable of taking care of myself. I already know that, she already knows that, but I don’t want to admit it. In two weeks without counseling, I lost X (then gained Y), passed out, lied to people about what I’m eating, cut again, and relapsed with purging. I hate purging. It hurts and it’s humiliating, but I was so desperate. I ended up collapsing as I purged and now I have a giant bruise on my knee. I’m killing my self, I know that I’m killing myself. But I can’t sfop it.

[Everglow.]

Preparing myself to lose another friend because she's starting to see someone which means I'm gonna become invisible. Happens with everyone. I'm unimportant.

[Silvan]

/vulgar language/

Every time I see you slut, I want to punch you in that sweety face. I wanna turn around so that I don't have to look at you. I needn't even tell you to shut the fuck up, because you don't say anything, you just make me furious with your presence. You could just disappear from my life and STOP FUCKING TAKING THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE FOR ME AWAY. You think we're friends? We aren't and we've never been, cunt. It's not friendly bickering. I've never been your fucking friend and I NEVER EVER even once acted like I wanted to befriend you, because I've known you for over three years and I know what you're like. You'd never hesitate, even a single though would never come across your head if you had the chance to stab me in the back in order to gain something for yourself. School is not a battlefield, and studying is not a war. IF YOU CAN'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND THIS, THEN FUCK OFF ME AND MY LIFE AND DON'T FUCKING GO EVERYWHERE I DO, or I swear I'm gonna fucking choke you with your own fucking hair.

[Everglow.]

I hate that I've ended up being stuck inside this head. It's such a horrible place to be and I'm starting to realise I'm not normal. Literally can't stop thinking about how pathetic and embarrassing it is to be me.

[Kate*]

Its all Race, society, lack of discipline and religion from schools, and rap music?! I can't believe people still believe this! Maybe the kid fucked up, mayne he's responsible for his own mess?!

This is fucking ridiculous.

[nothereanymore]

Make your bed, lie in it.

I feel like such a terrible person.
Want to cut.

It's not my fault you're an idiot. Google is a thing?

I should consider days I eat a "normal" amount as victories toward recovery, but they do nothing but make me feel like shit. I've been eating X calories a day for three days, and I've gained because of it. I set a number that I absolutely cannot go above, if I reach that, it's back to Y calories a day. I don't think someone that's actually serious about recovery has as many conditions to recovery as I do. I just want to find a way to feel okay that doesn't involve eating so damn much (and it kills me even more because the X calories I've been eating are still considered a restrictive diet. how could I do any more than X though?).

I feel like such a terrible fucking person.

My threshold for patience and understanding is next to none.

[Kate*]

You've said the only reason you haven't gotten a hearing aid is because you're lazy. After the last 3 days in the car after you couldn't hear the GPS, GET A FUCKING HEARING AID!!! I'm sick to death of having to repeat myself 20 times and yell (then get snapped at for yelling) just because you're being "lazy"

And, I can't be excited about getting out early because you want to use it in a lie to your pain in the ass mother so you don't have to deal with her because you can't say no! I'm sick of being part of your lies when you can just stand up for yourself. You're a grown woman for God's sake. She doesn't have power over you any more unless you give it to her.

Please let it be okay