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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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Re: Screaming thread. - December 30th 2018, 10:30 AM

I don't know if fantasy has kept me alive, because books and games have always been an escape, or if it has ruined me, because through fantasy I know how boring my life in this world is. Had it not been my for my parents and family, I would be long dead. I know it may sound really ungrateful, but sometimes I prefer they just... weren't there. Not dead. Just not there. So that I could peacefully fade away.


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Re: Screaming thread. - December 30th 2018, 11:55 AM

Why did you move in next to us?!





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Re: Screaming thread. - December 30th 2018, 01:40 PM

Cold, shivery, cramps, feel sick. Don't know what I'm doing.


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Re: Screaming thread. - December 30th 2018, 03:53 PM

I am struggling this morning.


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Re: Screaming thread. - December 30th 2018, 06:47 PM

I want to cry. I don't know why I'm doing anything, I don't even know what I'm doing. I want to cry. I want to die!!!


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Re: Screaming thread. - December 31st 2018, 02:51 AM

I really need to be alone but I also need a friend even more..


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Re: Screaming thread. - December 31st 2018, 01:28 PM

Why is suffering always a fucking competition>?????? I want to fucking die if it's only going to get even worse so stop fucking saying that or I might actually go through with it.


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Re: Screaming thread. - December 31st 2018, 05:16 PM

How do you stick with recovery when sobriety is worse than relapse?


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 1st 2019, 07:20 PM

I have to go to school tomorrow. Seems like a nightmare. I feel my mind fighting to stay home, but it's as if kept in a cage of my body, which won't listen. My body will go and my mind will have to suffer. How horrible.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 2nd 2019, 02:12 AM

I can't handle this anxiety!!!


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 2nd 2019, 03:17 AM

I can't remember if I took it or not, but I've only forgotten one other time and it didn't do anything to me. Better safe than sorry.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 2nd 2019, 01:38 PM

I'm struggling so much today.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 3rd 2019, 03:38 PM

..........


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 4th 2019, 02:04 AM

I feel so anxious and I hate it!!


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 4th 2019, 09:48 PM

I'm so afraid of everything. Of life. Of what I should achieve but I'm not going to. Of other people, of being judged by no one but myself, of... the world, it seems, and the atrocious way it works.

Unless I could be one of those badass characters in books and games, who begin as gifted but defiant youth, live through countless adventures and learn wisdom from the wiser to become the wisest in the end, I am content with only following these characters' stories. But I want nothing more demanded from me and that's the fucking problem.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 5th 2019, 04:08 AM

I'm panicking


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 5th 2019, 05:40 PM

I'm going to an escape room tomorrow. As if this alone wasn't enough for me to freak out, it's gonna be a horror one, Jesus fucking Christ, what was I thinking when I agreed on that shit? I'm panicking so much now...


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2019, 12:42 AM

Feeling like binge eating
   
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2019, 12:57 AM

And the anxiety hits.

Omg I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2019, 02:26 AM

I have next to no support. It's only going to keep getting worse. I see no hope for me. I'll never be okay again. I wish I had just killed myself already. It'd be better for everyone if I had never been born because my failed efforts just hurt everyone I love. I'm sorry.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2019, 06:46 AM

I feel like I don't matter.
I feel stupid.
I feel like I am terrible person.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2019, 07:02 PM

school tomorrow. FUCKING AGAIN FUCKING NO


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2019, 11:15 PM

Feeling like binge eating
   
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 7th 2019, 07:04 PM

How the hell am I supposed to get a job out of college if they all require prior experience? Thats why I need a job in the first place.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 7th 2019, 10:15 PM

All that anxiety for absolutely nothing.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 7th 2019, 11:31 PM

Can't stop crying.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 8th 2019, 06:14 PM

I'm so overwhelmed.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 9th 2019, 12:54 PM

ive been told high school's supposed to be the best time of my life, well fuck no it's like the worst so what are the other parts gonna be like? not sure if i wanna check that myself to be honest


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 9th 2019, 06:11 PM

I screwed up. Hopefully I don't get fired for this.

Everything makes me worried I'm gonna get fired but this worries me most.

Second guessing that job I applied for. I said I wouldn't like it cause I'd be on graveyard shift etc but I think I'm going to go for it and if I get an interview I'm going to ask all my questions.

What shifts are available
What is expected of us on the job

It's more money any might not be as stressful as this. It might be worse but it can't hurt to go for it can it?


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 10th 2019, 01:18 AM

I feel like I should take extra hours, especially now that it's so slow, but the times you want me, I don't want. I would much rather do a short shift on my day off than extend a 5 to an 8, especially on a weekend I know I don't have to, but I kind of do. I really wish you had offered it next week when you cut me by a whole day. I really have to think about this.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 10th 2019, 04:08 AM

I feel like I am going to break


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 10th 2019, 02:50 PM

I wish I could have called in sick today but it would have made tomorrow worse.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 10th 2019, 05:02 PM

why is my father destroying my life?


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 10th 2019, 07:31 PM

I shouldn't have come in today.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 10th 2019, 10:20 PM

Why the fuck am I still alive? Why can't I just die already?


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 11th 2019, 03:53 AM

The more I think about 2 extra hours at work tomorrow, the less I want to do them. It's not a weekend, it's not 3, and this is our slowest time. Hopefully, tacking one on at the beginning and one at the end will help it not be so bad and if she is there, she should be gone and I'll have instructions. I hate needing overrides, but I would've needed them anyway. And YES this was manager approved. He said if I waned to come in early either tomorrow or Saturday, "feel free" so I'm coming in an hour early and leaving an hour late. But I swear, if you give me any hassle or I end up bored, I won't help you out again.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 11th 2019, 04:07 AM

I am tempted to ditch the pot luck tomorrow.


I will bring the items I said I would and then just leave and go sit in my car. These pot lucks throw me off because I don't get to de-stress for an hour. I have to interact and do stuff I have no desire to do.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 11th 2019, 11:45 PM

In six months, I will either have to live with abuse again or be homeless.. can't fucking wait.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 12th 2019, 08:40 PM

So tired of being me. I wish I can press reset.
   
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 12th 2019, 10:53 PM

Please let the Xanax kick in so I can go out tomorrow


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