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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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Re: Screaming thread. - September 3rd 2019, 08:35 PM

I desperately need therapy. Wish that was possible right now.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 4th 2019, 09:38 PM

I wish tomorrow wasn't Thursday.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 5th 2019, 01:27 AM

It was so much worse than I thought.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 5th 2019, 10:07 AM

Why are you so mad? Why dont you understand?!





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Re: Screaming thread. - September 5th 2019, 03:26 PM

Tomorrow's school. Gosh.



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Re: Screaming thread. - September 10th 2019, 04:38 AM

I can't stop freaking out. Assuming I'm not gonna get a lot of sleep tonight.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 13th 2019, 01:33 AM

The truth is, I'm still struggling. I've never felt so lost before. I don't know what to do, where to go, who I am, or who I want to be. I'm just wandering in the dark, with no one to guide me. I need a light, but even the stars have faded to nothing. I should be happy now, but it all feels fake. It's easier to stay alive for now, but how long until reality makes itself clear again, and the truth comes crashing back down? Because we're both just running. We've buried the pain instead of resolving it. The resentments are boiling beneath the surface, waiting until the perfect moment to release themselves and destroy everything I've worked so hard for. I want to forgive, to see the light again, to feel hope and love. But I can't erase the heaviness that holds me down. I can wipe away the tears, but they stain my face forever. I want to move forward, but I feel trapped, lost, alone, scared. Broken, worthless, hopeless, crazy--that's how you made me feel, and time can't change that. Why would I want to put myself through all that again? Why should I give you what I needed for so long when you couldn't--wouldn't--offer me the same? You broke me beyond repair, and I think you still believe you were right. I don't know if you were, but what you did has caused me permanent scars. I really do want to forgive and move forward, but I'm not sure I can. I certainly don't know how. I'm too afraid to face any of this with a clear mind. I feel distant and disconnected. I don't know that I can ever find myself again. I don't know that I want to. So what do I do now? Where do I go from here? How do I find my way in the darkest night? How do I find the strength to heal without the resources needed? How do you hold on to hope with no external support? I can't reach out to anyone anymore. It kills me, but I can't make myself be vulnerable again. I'd rather suffer alone. I am alone. Addiction thrives in isolation--that's what they say. Isolation has made itself at home a long time ago.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 13th 2019, 08:19 AM

Relapsing sucks





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Re: Screaming thread. - September 14th 2019, 03:58 AM

I'm slightly worried I messed up and will get in trouble. I don't think I did but my anxiety is telling me differently


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 14th 2019, 09:22 PM

Why don't people like me..?


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 16th 2019, 08:24 AM

I've never been less okay in my life.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 16th 2019, 09:12 AM

I didn't really sleep. I woke up at 1:54 and could not get back to sleep.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 16th 2019, 06:48 PM

I'm struggling today.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 18th 2019, 11:18 PM

I don't know how I'm going to get through tomorrow. Let alone the rest of this week. And next week. But I was desperate enough, so it's my own damn fault.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 19th 2019, 08:03 PM

Beginning to get tired.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 21st 2019, 03:52 AM

Today I'm sad. Tomorrow will be better


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 21st 2019, 05:57 PM

I have a headache and my feet are killing me and I now have another blister on my foot. Great.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 24th 2019, 11:57 PM

I don't deserve to be OK.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 26th 2019, 10:59 AM

Tired, cold, PMS. Can't concentrate properly and feel like crap. One of those days.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 27th 2019, 07:59 AM

Had another dream last night that I failed university. What if I'm making a huge mistake?
I'm not smart enough for this.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 27th 2019, 10:04 PM

gearing up for another shitty birthday. feeling really alone especially now that he's gone.
   
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 28th 2019, 02:18 AM

My mind won't stop racing


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 30th 2019, 02:04 PM

I'm so anxious.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 30th 2019, 02:53 PM

Go away, ED!





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Re: Screaming thread. - October 2nd 2019, 06:04 PM

They discontinued my pain meds except for Tylenol and my pain is still super high. In addition my surgery isn't until 4:30 tomorrow. That means over sixteen hours of no food or drink, "just in case" the surgery is earlier, but it never is. Do y'all not take this seriously? Am I just an afterthought to you, with all these late afternoon surgeries? I really want to know. Why am I always at the end of the day? Can't you switch it up? Now I probably won't be able to go home tomorrow because I'll be too wonky from anesthesia. I'll be stuck in this hospital another fucking day, another goddamn day away from home. i hate it. I hate it so much.



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Re: Screaming thread. - October 3rd 2019, 09:53 AM

I’m just sad.





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Re: Screaming thread. - October 3rd 2019, 09:01 PM

Tube got suspended, taken over 2 hours to do an hour long journey. Honestly hate public transport.


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Re: Screaming thread. - October 4th 2019, 08:25 AM

Make the voices shut up





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Re: Screaming thread. - October 5th 2019, 10:11 AM

It seems like the whole world has decided to do everything in its power to prevent us from seeing each other. Why are there so many fucking obstacles?



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Re: Screaming thread. - October 6th 2019, 08:00 AM

I can't handle this anxiety


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Re: Screaming thread. - October 7th 2019, 08:00 AM

It's soooo cold and haven't slept much





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Re: Screaming thread. - October 7th 2019, 01:48 PM

Having such bad anxiety


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Re: Screaming thread. - October 8th 2019, 12:06 AM

Being told that makes me feel like even a bigger pile of shit.


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Re: Screaming thread. - October 8th 2019, 02:51 PM

Still 100% certain I'll fail. Not even sure if this is for me. Totally out of my depth. No time to do anything other than read.


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Re: Screaming thread. - October 8th 2019, 03:55 PM

So fucking tired.


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Re: Screaming thread. - October 9th 2019, 12:21 AM

can't stomach the powdered Mac and cheese and fried meat product but it's all there is. I wish he'd buy food.
   
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Re: Screaming thread. - October 9th 2019, 01:15 AM

I. am. NOT. okay.


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Re: Screaming thread. - October 9th 2019, 01:54 AM

Sometimes I hate being me


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Re: Screaming thread. - October 10th 2019, 02:00 PM

I dropped the end of a 20kg barbell right across the bridge of my foot yesterday. The throbbing pain is certainly emerging today.


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Re: Screaming thread. - October 10th 2019, 05:43 PM

A client's cheque bounced and they'd even put their guarantee card's number on the back!

So then my bank phoned me with the bad news, but at least in their kindness didn't charge me despite it being quite a lot.

Furious I went off to visit said client and made the bugger cough up with cash. Nothing like a fistful of readies. But I warned him never to darken my smithy again unless presenting me with cash, lest he gets my red hot poker where the sun don't shine.


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