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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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  (#9881 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 8th 2022, 08:32 PM

I just feel deflated today. And so aware of how much I hate myself.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 9th 2022, 12:45 AM

It seems to be spiraling towards again.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 10th 2022, 12:02 AM

I'm exhausted of living
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 10th 2022, 05:16 AM

It's surrounding me...


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 10th 2022, 06:02 AM

I don't know why it took 30 minutes past my appointment time to get 2 vaccines that literally took 10 seconds, when you weren't super busy or taking walk-ins, and there was 1 person ahead of me. But, if I'm asked to, you're getting an honest review and I probably won't go back for anything. I almost asked for my card back and walked out!

And I was right. I didn't sleep.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 12th 2022, 03:52 AM

I feel suicidal but it's less intense than it has been
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 12th 2022, 07:07 AM

It's days like this I wonder if the meds stopped working. There's probably a pattern here


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 12th 2022, 07:20 AM

The sooner I'm out of there the better.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 12th 2022, 09:09 PM

You should have waited next week to do that!

Damn you COVID, getting worse once again.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 13th 2022, 07:28 AM

I have to get out; at this point, even a pay cut with more hours would be more money. 10 hours 3 weeks in a row. It's like I only have a job because they don't have reason to fire me.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 13th 2022, 08:13 AM

I can do this...


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 14th 2022, 12:25 PM

I'm tired of being alive. Tired of wanting to die
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 15th 2022, 06:07 AM

On top of everything else, it was FUCKING NEPOTISTIC too?! Either you treat management better than everyone else, I caught you on a bad day (which doesn't justify the rest), or you have an issue with me. Perhaps because I call you on your bullshit? And we've gone from consistently the best store in the region to one of the worst in 6 months since he left and you took over. Coincidence, I doubt it.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 16th 2022, 02:57 AM

It's just one thing after the other...


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 16th 2022, 06:51 PM

I banged my head against the wall today. I just felt like doing it and couldn't resist. I wish I could tell my boyfriend about this situation, but I won't because I don't want to worry him.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 16th 2022, 11:32 PM

I'm NOT okay. This is the right thing, but it doesn't feel good. Anxiety is up, and the part of me that hates change wishes everything could go back to the way it was when things were so good. But they won't; if anything they're going to get worse and I just can't anymore. But, change is scary and leaving them is sad!

Assuming you were closed because of the snow, or possibly you're just ghosting me. But, could you at least have the decency to cancel a phone interview before you just don't call?

I don't want to fucking do this!!!! I'm one day into this shit and the stress is already killing me.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 17th 2022, 07:44 AM

Decision after decision...


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 18th 2022, 07:27 AM

I hate stressing about every little thing.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 18th 2022, 08:41 PM

Yep, literally just went from an interview to suicidal in less than 5 seconds. FUCK Covid making me record myself, FUCK anxiety for making it worse. I give up trying to better my life, I'll just fucking die instead. I'm never going to get another job, I'll be just as awkward in person and I just can't. After 2 God damn days, I'd rather be dead than deal with this shit for the rest of my miserable life.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 19th 2022, 08:06 AM

So much to do in so little time.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 20th 2022, 06:47 AM

I love having an anxious mind all the time.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 20th 2022, 03:38 PM

It's stressing me very much


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 21st 2022, 04:30 AM

You realize yelling at me because I'm not ready to do what you want, is NOT the way to get me to do what you want, right? What it's going to get you is blocked.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 22nd 2022, 08:47 AM

I really need to stop doing this to myself.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 23rd 2022, 04:47 AM

The information is SAVED in here, WHY can't I get into my bank account?! You have 24 hours to fix this or I'm throwing a tantrum on Monday


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 24th 2022, 08:55 AM

I'm just so emotionally, mentally and physically drained from work today...


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 24th 2022, 05:31 PM

I cut myself. I cut myself for the first time since 3 years ago. I'm nothing. I'm useless. I'm inadequate. I'm trash. I should be dead.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 24th 2022, 07:30 PM

Tired of the boredom and unproductivity.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 25th 2022, 09:03 AM

I just can't wait until all of this just stops.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 25th 2022, 11:36 PM

If trauma has taught me anything, it's that as much as you may deserve, want, and be capable of something, doesn't mean it'll happen for you. I need to get out, but my chances are bleak at best.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 26th 2022, 12:11 AM

I wish I could erase certain triggers from my brain forever! Just be fucking normal and not get PTSD responses!


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 26th 2022, 02:02 AM

I was afraid of this, I'm bored out of my fucking mind.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 26th 2022, 08:12 AM

I really need to stop doing so much.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 26th 2022, 07:45 PM

I need to stop getting upset over things that are fine. Ugh.


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and it's raging on and so we rage as one on until the day is done.

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Re: Screaming thread. - January 27th 2022, 09:10 AM

I wish I wasn't so indecisive all the time.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 27th 2022, 11:54 PM

This is the worst. It's time to go, I know I need a new job, but I can't bring myself to return any calls or go on any interviews. The necessary changes in routine, anxiety, and underlying mental bullshit from years of trauma, I just can't. But I have to.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 29th 2022, 10:54 AM

I'm really, really scared. I feel so close to doing it. It's scary how I don't see a problem with it.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 29th 2022, 04:29 PM

This blizzard is really intrusive and I wish all winter forecast would go away.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 30th 2022, 01:58 AM

ONE shift, on a FUCKING SUNDAY?! I don't care if you claim it's not personal, it is and it's FUCKED UP,

And just know that I will NOT blame the company for screwing me. I lay this one squarely on YOUR shoulders!


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 30th 2022, 07:46 AM

I hope it was enough to recover mentally and emotionally.


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