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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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  (#2921 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 3rd 2016, 11:58 AM

no i do not have your pyjama top so please will both of you stop accusing me of it! why would i want your pyjama top????? fuck off i dont have it. your like three clothing sizes smaller than me anyway .... why would even i try and fit into your pink pyjama top ??????



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  (#2922 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 3rd 2016, 03:51 PM

Doctrine and Covenants 112:10

'Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers'


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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  (#2923 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 3rd 2016, 05:36 PM

I rather die then live anymore. Someone please kill me




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  (#2924 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 3rd 2016, 08:24 PM

I don't mind cleaning up. I actually enjoy cleaning, but it does drive me a bit mad (crazy) when I clean something and five minutes later baby hurricane blows through out the house! What can you do?! Bleh. Double time on the cleaning.


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  (#2925 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 4th 2016, 03:22 PM

I was one of the ones who LOVED it and, had I not been broken, could've had it EASILY! "We want you to succeed, even if it's not with us." Well, you're going to be disappointed then because no one with this ever has. Unless suicide counts of course, then we take the cake. And I want to tell you to your face everything this and you have done to me, but it looks like I'll be disappointed too. You've moved on like I never existed, but I hope this haunts you sometimes. You didn't care as much as you claimed, so I don't feel bad for saying that.

Yes, it's after 4pm and I'm still in bed. Had a nightmare and then fell back to sleep UGH!

When the crisis line has already told you to stop using them, so you wait months until you're desperate to try again because you have no choice and they send you away, you know you're fucking screwed. That was supposed to help and I just feel worse. I was going to kill myself anyway, no reason not to now.

It's like being stuck on a constantly inclining hamster wheel. The harder and longer you run, the steeper it gets until you're either forced to give up out of sheer exhaustion, or you go flying off and it's not like you ever get anywhere.

I HATE this feeling, I don't even know what to call it, or if I even want it to go away.

Great, more to be jealous of. I hate my life.

STOP posting weight loss stuff, I'm sick of hearing how "being healthy" seems to mean the complete opposite. Between that and you going back and forth with your trainer, I'm over it.


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  (#2926 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 4th 2016, 03:58 PM

I wish that everything I did wasn't restricted to how you feel on any given day. Because of that, I'm late for appointments, and sometimes I don't even make them at all. It's starting to be too much.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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  (#2927 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 4th 2016, 04:42 PM

I hate these bitchy 'popular' kids.a bunch of jerks. Your not good gift to the world, knock it off


I know you are looking for a sea that lies beyond your reach
But im hoping my heart can stop you before you reach the beach
I know you have places to go
I know that you want the sea
But im hoping my heart will grow and that you'll
come back to me.....
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  (#2928 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 4th 2016, 07:11 PM

I hate having to deal with sitting on the phone for hours at a time. It's so annoying. I truly wish they would have a better way to do this.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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  (#2929 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 4th 2016, 09:23 PM

I always fail everyone, I'm a disappointment.
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  (#2930 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 4th 2016, 11:17 PM

Hey everyone, feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk or just vent!
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  (#2931 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 5th 2016, 04:24 AM

Again, having thoughts of me dieing and getting cancer or something. Its almost like a dream, like something that i wish would just happen, itd be easier after all. Im done with life at the moment. This is what school does to me it destroys me. No true friends, no time to rest, no music. Shitload of useless uneccessary work and unrealistic expectations from people you hate.Thats hell.
My god, please, i just want to go home. I just want to go home.


I know you are looking for a sea that lies beyond your reach
But im hoping my heart can stop you before you reach the beach
I know you have places to go
I know that you want the sea
But im hoping my heart will grow and that you'll
come back to me.....
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  (#2932 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2016, 07:40 AM

The shit I see on Facebook. Sometimes I just want to tell people how dumb they are like 'Hey, you're a dumb bitch. Have some compassion!" Facebook just reminds me how stupid people are and it makes me consider deleting it. I'm close to doing it. I don't even know what stops me.
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2016, 11:01 AM

Internal pains and hallucinations and anxiety and self-deprecating thoughts. Okay.
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  (#2934 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 7th 2016, 03:29 AM

I'm finally starting to feel like I can breathe again after 15 months of hell. Too bad it never lasts.

As if the Medicaid issue wasn't bad enough my loan company has to scare me half to death making me think I owe money in 3 weeks that I don't even almost have. Thank God it was an error, but that heart attack was NOT FUN!

And we're back to normal. The almost 3 days I had of feeling better were fun, but I can never expect life to stay that way.

The slide might not be as far this time, but I still need a life and it can be nothing like the one I always dreamed of having. You have no idea how much that sucks.

Yep, as familiar as this feeling is, I still can't stand it. I don't think I'll be doing this for very long.

I can accept that you were wrong a lot easier than I can accept that you screwed me over and I'll never recover the investment or from the emotional damage. It was all a complete waste; you don't get to do this and then try to convince me otherwise. Yet, I would still want your help because I feel like you actually get me and I'm that desperate. Like an abusive relationship it was, ironic as hell. All I learned was how evil the world can really be and that I deserved every last bit of it despite doing "nothing wrong." So, it did change me, just not in the way you wanted.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 7th 2016, 03:37 AM

1st day at my new school, and I already feel dumb as hell.
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 7th 2016, 06:20 AM

You're kind of annoying and you're a bit of a bitch. I don't know what I saw. I see things differently now and it kind of makes me sad. Like, you fooled me for so long and now the truth comes out and I realize things I never did. You aren't worthy and never have been.
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 7th 2016, 02:13 PM

I hate doing research for stuff. It's so taxing.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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  (#2938 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 7th 2016, 06:51 PM

I feel so cold. Been on and off crying. But I don't know why. I think I can't distinguish between what's me, and what may be anxiety and depression.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 8th 2016, 07:31 AM

Okay I get you're trying to be friendly but you're a bit overpowering. If I'm an introvert, you're an extra-extra-extrovert, and I'm sorry, but I can't take it. Like what fucking part of "I have social anxiety and don't like talking on the phone" did you not understand? I know you said you don't understand the concept of introversion but you must understand what I told you.
Also what is it with guys leaving awkward voicemails with their voice cracking. First him and now you. STOP CALLING ME. PLS.
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 8th 2016, 03:33 PM

I hate how because I don't want to deal with my family, I can't be with my sister on her Birthday, even though she is 18, doesn't live with my mother, and we've been best friends for years.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Re: Screaming thread. - January 8th 2016, 06:54 PM

Nope. Absolutely not.
After your serious? The one time I actually start to feel good and relaxed and not wanting to kill myself you give me a shout lead of hw, which absolutely NO ONE can finish by the time you want it. Two huge projects, a fucking 65 question review where I have to make up my own questions (seriously what good teacher does that) forty math problems I have no idea how to do, and two important exams all on the same day. I stayed up all night , twelve hours straight at the point where I'm at my weakest,working on this shit for you, and I still came and dealt with your shit at school too. THERE LITERALLY WERE NOT ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY FOR ME TO DO WHAT YOU ASKED.I got no sleep, I'm starving, I've had two panic attacks already, and you scream at me for not doing anything? FUCK YOU. Don't blame me because you're a bad teacher.


I know you are looking for a sea that lies beyond your reach
But im hoping my heart can stop you before you reach the beach
I know you have places to go
I know that you want the sea
But im hoping my heart will grow and that you'll
come back to me.....
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  (#2942 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 9th 2016, 08:26 AM

I can't freaking sleep and today was awful. I screwed up and ended up cutting and I'm disappointed. I'm angry and worried and I just miss my support team. I'm feeling so low tonight.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 9th 2016, 04:24 PM

I hate that everything has to be on your terms. I just want out! Is that so bad to say? I just want out of our toxic relationship!?


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 10th 2016, 06:22 AM

When you can literally feel yourself getting sick <<<<<
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 10th 2016, 06:51 PM

Stop treating me like an ignorant child! I'm so over you and the family. I just can't take it anymore. You've all pushed me to my breaking point. Don't come crying to me when you've realized I was right and you all need help climbing out of the hole you've dug for yourselves. You've dug that hole for yourself, and I'm not helping this time.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 10th 2016, 07:48 PM

When you realize most of your foundation for recovering from depression was never really there at all...
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 11th 2016, 03:17 PM

The things I have to do to better myself and my family aren't always easy. Maybe you should consider that before you open your mouth and tell me how I'm being selfish when I'm working my ass off and trying my hardest to better our situation.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 11th 2016, 11:37 PM

When you comment on a public Facebook page, it shows up in all your friend's newsfeeds and there's no setting to hide them!!! I just deleted a ton of comments because I didn't realize everyone I knew could see them. Thanks Facebook! Why didn't any of my friends TELL ME?!?!

I don't know how much longer I can do this. It feels like the perfect plan collapsed and my life went with it. The fact that, in over a year nothing has come together to replace it isn't helping. I seem doomed to lose my dreams and have them replaced by an absolutely miserable life. I've had enough of losing things to this, I'm done.

Not everyone gets a happy ending, you of all people, should know that. These are the times I question whether there's a God. I don't understand how a loving God could put an innocent person through the tragedies of my life story and expect me to believe He knows what hes doing and its all going to be okay.

I'm not your job anymore, but I still feel like I need help from you; or at least my conscience needs to tell you to your face what this really did to me. Too bad I'll never get either. Maybe it's better, if more painful that way. I don't think I could go back to that building right now even though I did it once before. I'm already having flashbacks as it is, no need to go back to where it all began.

I don't even know the answers to the questions that would be the beginning of getting out of this, so even if that were an option, it wouldn't help and everyone else has already given up or turned their backs on me. That's encouraging, I'm resigned to never being okay again. I told you that was going to happen and you didn't believe me.

Thank God this group is closed and no one else can see it because I just vented my whole story to them and I REALLY didn't mean to do that Hopefully it lasts, but people have left it, so I'm pretty much waiting for it to turn bad.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 12th 2016, 01:54 PM

I really hate how you make me feel. Just when I start to think I'm doing well, and that I'm making progress in my life, you turn around and make me feel horrible. Thanks for that.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 13th 2016, 11:51 AM

God help me I hate math


I know you are looking for a sea that lies beyond your reach
But im hoping my heart can stop you before you reach the beach
I know you have places to go
I know that you want the sea
But im hoping my heart will grow and that you'll
come back to me.....
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 13th 2016, 01:40 PM

Unless you did an absolute 180, may all gods in existence have mercy on your poor child. You are a terrible human being, or at least you were when I knew you. If anything I just hope she can leave you faster than I did if she needs to.
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 13th 2016, 09:05 PM

I've been super anxious lately, and it's driving me insane. I'm just so ready to move on with all of this stress. Bleh.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Re: Screaming thread. - January 13th 2016, 10:47 PM

It'll... have to do alot more than that to kill me, not... giving up just now.
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Post Re: Screaming thread. - January 14th 2016, 01:34 AM

To Those Who Are Stuck On The Thoughts Of Suicide:
You Are Far Too Beautiful To Be Dead
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 14th 2016, 11:18 AM

Help me god help me


I know you are looking for a sea that lies beyond your reach
But im hoping my heart can stop you before you reach the beach
I know you have places to go
I know that you want the sea
But im hoping my heart will grow and that you'll
come back to me.....
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 14th 2016, 06:19 PM

I wish that Monday wasn't so close. I'm really nervous about doing this new training thing for work.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Re: Screaming thread. - January 15th 2016, 01:53 AM

Telling me that I "will have to use my skill set" to "reinvent myself" while telling me how hard it was when you had to do it on a smaller scale and how hard your life still is is NOT HELPING. I barely have the impulse control not to kill myself and I have no existing skill set. I might be starting to understand why people have left.

I still want you to make it okay, but you can't and I don't think you care anymore, if you ever did. I'm done, I just can't do it anymore. Working my ass off for a miserable life I hate is not worth it; even if I had it in me to try.

12 hours of sleep and still miserable, yeah depression sucks and the rest of my life is going to be as bad or worse, I can't even.

Part of me wants to, but I know better, so I won't.

Don't worry, you'll never have to face what you did to me. I'll let karma take care of it.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 16th 2016, 01:21 AM

I'm so ready for my silver-lining! I'm tired of all of this bad news and crapping 'things' that have been happening.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Re: Screaming thread. - January 16th 2016, 03:23 AM

I'll be leaving it unfinished... but that's just too bad.
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 16th 2016, 04:00 AM

I am a failure.
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