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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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Re: Screaming thread. - January 5th 2017, 03:07 AM

I don't want to do this anymore.



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Re: Screaming thread. - January 5th 2017, 11:49 AM

Why am I awake. Oh my god.
I haven't been able to eat since I got sick and I'm so tired BUT I WAKE UP AT THREE IN THE MORNING AND IM STILL UP TWO HOURS LATER. I want to eat. I want to be healthy. Tired of being sick. Tired of telling people I am and having them not be surprised.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 5th 2017, 03:18 PM

if we would have left at 7 like we usually do we would have gotten their fine. But no you had to wait until 9 and then tell me that we're not going into work at all. Now I have no way to get in - I don't have the money for this and now I have to go in on Saturday even though I was planning on using Saturday to get all my stuff for school.

Thanks. You're such a terrible person.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 5th 2017, 03:38 PM

Yes, I know I'm losing weight, but it's not because I'm sick. My lifestyle has changed and I eat way better than I used to, so it's only natural.

I feel better and more confident, if only slightly. Don't mess it up.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 5th 2017, 03:41 PM

I didn't sleep that well and have so much to do today.



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Re: Screaming thread. - January 5th 2017, 11:04 PM

"Oh hey mom guess what I put in an application to go to college"
"Cool"

...what the fuck is wrong with you? Does it really not mean that much to you?


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2017, 04:09 AM

Damned if I didn't do some damage to my liver and/or intestines by taking a near fatal overdose. Constant problems since then. Fuck me, man.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2017, 04:30 AM

Don't think I am gonna end up sleeping all that well. Fell asleep due to being so tired and now I don't feel too tired.



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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2017, 05:31 AM

Should just give up right now.....




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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2017, 05:50 AM

We STILL can't fucking BELIEVE you did that! You "can't" eat the shit people go out of their way to bring you, but you can eat OUR fucking COOKIES that AREN'T even yours!!!@!!@!! You're such an entitled, spoiled baby! I seriously can't deal with you anymore. And again, milking the shit out of your limitations, you figure out how to eat what you know you shouldn't have, but REFUSE to eat what you know you should be. I fucking QUIT!

It's coming back, thank God I didn't have to cancel therapy, still 6 days is a long time considering.

If this was processed as a leave of absence, which it shouldn't have been, then I'm probably okay. If it was processed as a non-academic dismissal, I have to report it if I apply somewhere else for pretty much anything (not that it'll ever be possible). It would make you look worse than it would make me look, so I'd think you'd avoid that at all costs, but if it is, I have a disability and I have to report and explain this like I'm a fucking criminal! You "care" and didn't ruin my life my ass!


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2017, 06:06 AM

I haven't been able to eat and I'm gonna fall if I stand up. Can't see my doctor till Monday but if this keeps up I'm gonna end up in the emergency room.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2017, 11:49 AM

Feeling just a little by on edge today after that dream last night. Definitely a dream, I've checked, but now I feel a bit anxious and irritable.
-------
If you insist on having your boyfriend near enough move in could you at least be quiet? Stop banging things and go to your room so I can do some work. Inconsiderate.
   
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2017, 01:25 PM

Fever's coming back and stomach issues are getting worse again. I could barely drink my water and I took two hours drinking the Ensure so I wouldn't throw up. Fuck.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2017, 06:20 PM

My head hurts and medication isn't working!



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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2017, 06:48 PM

C. difficile colitis. Killll meeeeee


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2017, 08:44 PM

I could disappear and not a single person would care. I'm a stupid, disgusting, fat, ugly, dumb, worthless, and useless excuse for a human being.




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Re: Screaming thread. - January 6th 2017, 11:22 PM

My back hurts so much.
   
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 7th 2017, 04:34 AM

I wish that my house work did itself. I just wanna take a long bath and go to sleep.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 7th 2017, 06:35 PM

I'm too tired to do anything. And I'm cold as well..



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Re: Screaming thread. - January 7th 2017, 07:36 PM

apparently in rare cases this is fatal and I'm a little scared of how that might happen but I'm totally okay with that


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 8th 2017, 12:24 AM

I am worthless.



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Re: Screaming thread. - January 9th 2017, 07:46 AM

I was getting better and now I'm getting worse again. I would like to NOT end up in the hospital because
"it's always something with you"
"get a fucking job"
"of course you're late"

This is out of my hands but it's exactly what people expect of me.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 9th 2017, 08:03 AM

This gets worse, not better and one of the first things she said to me was that there's nothing to do for it. It will likely cost me EVERYTHING I wanted out of life, and I wasn't asking for that much! May as well kill myself now. Almost 30 years of all the shit it caused(s) me was more than enough. The thing it culminated in was just icing on the cake.

Grow the fuck up! You wanted the power, not the responsibility that goes with it. You got both, you are completely fucking clueless, I'm screwed beyond comprehension, and instead of preparing, you're throwing tantrums like a G-D damn CHILD!

Hormones are killing me. This is a relatively new torture, but I get to deal with it monthly for at least 30 more years UGH

I don't lack empathy, I lack patience and you've spent my last fucking nerve. By the time that happens, I won't care, I just won't have it in me anymore.

Should've just let myself fall back to sleep like I did yesterday because now I can't.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 9th 2017, 02:50 PM

You're a joke.

I'm a burden no matter what they say. It'd be a burden to restart therapy.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 9th 2017, 09:46 PM

Why am I so scared of talking to people?
   
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 9th 2017, 10:43 PM

Feeling kind of sad tonight. Worried about letting her down. Worried about upsetting people.
I really am trying to stay positive but it's so hard to be happy all the time.
   
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 9th 2017, 11:08 PM

I hate the way you treat me.



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Re: Screaming thread. - January 9th 2017, 11:15 PM

Back to a diet of nothing but probiotic yogurt, and making an appointment with a gastroenterologist because there's blood now. Fucking fantastic.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 10th 2017, 12:03 AM

Going abroad for the first time in June. Need an NHS insurance card but I'm shit scared of doctors and I don't want to register with a GP and have to have a check up. Last time I had a check up I couldn't stop shaking. Not doing it.
Need to find another way.
   
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 10th 2017, 02:10 AM

You're such a piece of crap and you are no better.



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Re: Screaming thread. - January 10th 2017, 04:50 PM

Hopefully this appointment can get me on the road AWAY from the emergency room. Honest to god if I keep getting sick I'm going to off myself


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 10th 2017, 05:59 PM

Feel so unwell again. Can't be productive when every movement makes me feel like I'm gonna be sick.
   
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 10th 2017, 11:45 PM

I love how my family suddenly becomes afraid of me being contagious like I haven't been around them for the last eight days. My sister has been sitting on the same damn toilet seat as me and she's fine. If I picked my butt and then touched someone with my hands then that'd be a different story. I had my system wiped clean of bacteria and that's how I got sick. They're all fine. But no, I've been banished to a strict liquid diet and im not allowed near anyone. Fuck you guys. I'm gonna be starving for the next week and I'm gonna hear "go somewhere else" all damn day during that time. What fucking misery.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 11th 2017, 08:49 AM

I woke up super anxious and now can't get back to sleep. Have to be up early and have a long day tomorrow. Fantastic.



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Re: Screaming thread. - January 11th 2017, 11:39 AM

Glad that's over. Now to worry and worry about what sort of sickness I have this time.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 11th 2017, 05:14 PM

I'm so tired of the way people treat others. Why can't you just respect everyone and leave it be. Gosh.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 11th 2017, 05:55 PM

With the amount of bitching you do about everything and everyone else, the fact that you're trying to act like a mature adult about this is fucking hilarious. We're not all going to lose, only people you don't like (and me) will lose everything. Oh, and you can't say in one breath that he wasn't your first choice either, but everyone needs to grow the fuck up, and then in the next say, he's what's best for the country. It makes you a hypocrite like everyone else you've spent your whole life judging like you're perfect. How about you "solve" the fact that I lose my healthcare immediately before telling me to stop being the problem?! Had this gone the other way you'd be the biggest baby out there and you know it. Now you're commenting on every meme he posts because you disagree with his views like that's helping to prove your original point, that you're a mature adult and he's not. Interesting you didn't attack me, but honestly, the more you post/rant about people being immature about this, the more immature you look yourself.

Safe space shouldn't be used that way, but I completely agree with you.

Had to go through the box to find things to give my therapist context. Reread some of it to make sure I was taking the right documents. There's a reason I haven't done so in 2 years. She says 90% of what you say is crap, I wish I'd known that when I was still there. She also confirmed that I didn't imagine any of it. She's already better at dealing with me than you ever were.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 11th 2017, 06:41 PM

Just wish I could get a break from being ill. I've been ill in some form or another now for about a month.
   
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Re: Screaming thread. - January 11th 2017, 08:34 PM

^ I feel you. I hope you feel better. <3

Unbelievable that you still do this to me. You have no concept of boundaries. Please for the love of god just fucking STOP.


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Re: Screaming thread. - January 12th 2017, 04:29 AM

This heat is really knocking me around and I would so love some relief from it.


𝒰𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓁 𝒷𝑒𝓃𝑒𝒶𝓉𝒽 𝒶 𝓆𝓊𝒾𝑒𝓉 𝓈𝓀𝓎,
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