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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Coffee. Offline
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I hate being a grown up. - September 20th 2013, 10:47 PM

My feels in gif form:
So I thought before I take my bioethics quiz, I could get some of the pressure off my chest and thoroughly complain about how much I hate being an adult. In one month tomorrow, I turn 21. Yay, drinking in my country. Boo, everything else. Let me expand on everything I'm sick of.
  • Having responsibilities. I love having my own place and not having to wait for my dad to pay my bills. ...but I hate paying my bills and having to clean/look after my own place. My dorm is a complete disaster, and I've been dreading having to put the effort in (it'll seriously take no more than 30 minutes...) to clean it. That, and dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, and all the stupid chores that go into daily life. I can barely fine time to fit these into my work and school schedule, yet these things are vital to being independent. Ahhhhh.
  • Meetings. What I've learned about being a grownup is that jobs make you meet about every stupid little thing. Last week, I had over 9 meetings about a variety of stupid crap, and I can say that two of them were actually useful. What the heck?! Has anybody ever heard of email? If people would read their email, we wouldn't have to go over half the stuff we have to.
  • High school drama...it never goes away! Why am I still having to listen to how so-in-so doesn't like so-in-so, or how somebody is dating somebody even if they were dating somebody, or whatever else? I thought this was a high school thing. Then I get to college, and it not only continues, but gets more complicated! No. I'm just done.
  • Never being good enough, ever. Has anybody here ever received that "pep talk" from a coach or a teacher or somebody about how everybody needs to get their act together and not slack off? Yeah, I receive that from work, a class, a club/organization, etc, nearly every week. Sometimes, it's nice (we need everybody to start sharing the workload) to just rude (stop slacking off) and it becomes so overwhelming when you are doing your work, or are trying your best, and that things are still not getting done, and it's my fault, my fault my fault, my fault. Ahhhhh.
  • Graduate school. My adviser: "So have you been thinking about graduate school?" translation: "Oh, so you know that degree that you just spent all that time getting? Well hey, that's not good enough. You need to spend more money on another degree, do a bunch of research and internships without pay while trying to teach classes and do everything else, all in order to get a degree so that you can be paid a decent wage, but still not enough to support a family because you're not going into engineering. Sucks to be you." That's of course my angsty translation, but still. I recently found out the graduate school in my state with my program isn't a very good program for the research/topics I want to go into. I found out the good ones are all private, expensive, ivy-league schools I have no chance on getting into. I'm overwhelmed by the idea of applying for schools that I know will deny me, going out of state away from my friends and family for school, and spending so much money on an elitist private education. It's all so stressful. Just ugh.
I just want to be a kid again. Hell, I want to be a fetus again, just laying there with my twin sister hangin' out and not having to worry about anything but growing.


I said to the sun, "Tell me about the big bang"
& the sun said “it hurts to become."
Andrea Gibson, "I Sing The Body Electric; Especially When My Power Is Out"

Last edited by Coffee.; September 20th 2013 at 11:06 PM. Reason: Added a section about graduate school.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I hate being a grown up. - September 21st 2013, 09:47 PM

Hey Traci,

Heh, I totally get how much pressure it is to be a grown up. I think the transition to becoming a "responsible adult" can be really difficult and things don't always go as we expect them to. I for one, thought I might have everything "together" at this age (ex. nice living arrangements, a degree, begun a career job, etc.) and it's just not the case. In fact, most of us 20 somethings are just winging it, and trying to do the best we can.

In response to some of what you've said...I totally understand how difficult it can be to fit all the responsibilities like cleaning and grocery shopping in, even if it's not super time consuming. Have you tried making a set time/or schedule that you can put up where you can see it? Having a bit of constant structure may help you prioritize your time and get you into more of a routine so it may not be a stressful once you're used to it.

I've also learned that a lot of meetings you attend are pretty unnecessary (and quite frankly, boring). Hopefully though, you either get paid to attend them or you're getting some worldly experience out of them.

Thinking about your future can be pretty stressful, but it helps if you just break it all down into small goals. Continue to meet with your academic adviser and see what needs to be done and don't be afraid to get help for anything you need to get that application completed. And also take some time to figure out if a graduate program is what you want to do, and if this is the right time for you to do it.

Hope this helped a bit! Just figured i'd reply as I relate to all of your points about growing up. While there are quite a few negatives of being in your twenties, I'm sure if you think about it there are also a lot of good things about being a grown up as well! Take care. :]


A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.
   
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Re: I hate being a grown up. - September 21st 2013, 10:39 PM

Haha! It's not as bad as you might think Traci.

Think of your new-found freedom. Sure you'll have bills and more responsibilities but you'll be far more free to do whatever you wanted and with age comes respect. I find being a 'grown up' a little more fun than being a teenager. So many new doors have opened for me that once weren't available until I'd reached 21+. It can be quite beneficial. It's when you reach 50+ and are able to claim for a free bus pass that you'll be hating being a grown up.


Life is for living, not for losing.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I hate being a grown up. - September 22nd 2013, 12:48 AM

While I'm not as 'old' as you guys, I kind of know how you feel in some of the context(s). I agree that it isn't always fun being an 'adult'! However, I just figured I throw in some quotes/saying that will make you feel even older, and make you miss the old times even more (flashback time)!

Quote:
My curfew was the street lights, and my mom didn't call my cell, she yelled "time to come in". I played outside with friends, not online. If I didn't eat what my mom made me, then I didn't eat. Hand sanitizer didn't exist, but you COULD get your mouth washed out with soap. I rode a bike without a helmet. And getting dirty was ok.

Quote:

When I was younger, I'd put my arms in my shirt and told people I lost my arms. Would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose. Slept with all the stuffed animals as a child so none of them got offended. Had that one pen with 4 colors, and tired to push all buttons at once. Poured soda into the cap and acting like I were taking shots.The hardest decision was choosing which Nintendo game to play. Waited behind the door to scare someone, then leaving because they're taking to long to come out, or you had to pee. Faked being asleep, so I could be carried to bed. Used to think that the moon followed my car. Watching two drops of rain roll down the window and pretending it was a race. Went on the computer just to use paint. The only thing I had to take care of was a Tamagotchi. The only 'fake' friends I had were invisible ones. I used to sing in the shower (Now? I make life decisions in there). Swallowed a fruit seed; I was scared to death that a tree was going to grow in my tummy. Getting bruised knees were way better than getting a broken heart. Remember when we were kids and couldn't wait to grow up? What the hell were we thinking?


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: I hate being a grown up. - September 23rd 2013, 08:17 AM

I don't really have anything useful to say, but I definitely get where you're coming from. All those years wishing for freedom and being so excited to finally move out and take control of your life... and now all you want to do is let somebody else take over so you can just have a break. If you ever want to rant/commiserate, let me know, because I also have numerous problems with this whole 'grown up' idea.


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with pace & a fury defiant.

   
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Re: I hate being a grown up. - September 24th 2013, 07:26 AM

I totally get this and feel the same way, especially the part about graduate school.

If you want advice on it, I know a good deal about many fields and might have some insight. Send me a message if you like.



   
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