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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Rivière Offline
Par la rivière
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Name: Sarah
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Wales, UK.

Posts: 2,255
Join Date: June 7th 2013

Just issues - November 6th 2016, 05:05 PM

So I'm just going to type out this huge rant because I'm frustrated.

Firstly, since being at university sure there's been a lot of ups and a few downs. Right now there's been a fair few downs. One of them in particular has been my reading abilities and understanding maths concepts. I struggle really badly with anything beyond basic maths. Like, really struggle. My degree requires me to do a reasonable amount of reading as well as a lot of assignments and since it involves computing, there's a good amount of maths involved too. My reading problems aren't something I widely discuss with the entire world. I know I've mentioned them in the past on here, but to anybody else in-person I never talk about it because it's just awkward to talk about and explain. I haven't been diagnosed with dyslexia, in fact my symptoms aren't really the 'common' type of dyslexia. Whenever I read sometimes letters from a previous word will mingle in with the next word, or even words from a sentence above or below, or sometimes my brain likes to invent whole new words entirely and the only way to prevent any of this from happening is to read everything reeeeeaally sloooowly to the point where my attention just crashes and I'll start thinking of multiple different things at once, 'I need to buy new socks' 'I should probably hoover today' 'I wonder what other food I can make' or sometimes I'll think about conversations I've had with people, the list goes on. On average I can read just 4 pages an hour because I read so slowly and get distracted so easily, sometimes I'll read even less than that.

Then there's my maths problems which is even more awkward to talk about with people. I tried talking about it to a girl here and because she's an A* GCSE student everything is so magically easy for her, and when I mention my struggle or she sees I can't work out something that's 'basic maths' to her, she'll make 'ugh' or 'ugh' noises in disapproval and it's really belittling. It's embarrassing enough that I can't really tell people in-person that I struggle to tell analogue time as if I do I risk being mocked and laughed at. It takes me 2-3 times longer than everyone else to work out the time on an analogue clock because it's literally like doing a mental maths workout trying to count the little hand to where the minutes are and then to count the big hand to what hour it is.

These problems I have have become so frustrating because it's preventing me from doing my work. I'm ok with certain things like Computer Graphics because it's visual and the programming is easy to understand but then when I reach things like UNIX and Java, where somehow everyone else seems to be a-ok, and I'm sat there staring at the screen thinking, 'What?'.

Not only that, one of my flatmates is really grinding my gears. She keeps bringing people back to our flat every.single.day. Not an exaggeration. In fact there's several of them in the kitchen with her right now and some are just standing in our corridor having a good old chat. I've spoken to another flatmate and at least I can take comfort in the fact I'm not alone with how I feel, it's getting beyond a joke. At least 1 person every day. Sometimes they'll be here until 12:30 AM and then they'll chat in the corridor. I'm getting to the point where I'm going to have to try and talk to her because it's getting far too annoying. I can't do my work in my room because it's next to our kitchen and it's like a wind tunnel with the noise because it echos really badly on top of my flatmate and her band of merry disciples she constantly brings over.

Some days she'll bring so many people over, like last week where she had 7 people over for dinner and nobody else in our flat could cook our dinner because she'd taken up all the space. As my other flatmate said to me, it would have been nice if she'd asked us first, but she doesn't. She just comes and goes whenever she pleases. Sometimes when she has people over there's so little space in the kitchen that we can't eat at the table and have to eat in our rooms. Other times she'll wander off leaving the random people she's brought over and as soon as you walk in you get stared at by people you don't know, and I'm not the only one this has happened to either. It's getting beyond a joke.

I keep thinking of how I would talk to her about this problem but she's never around unless she's with people so I can't talk to her one to one. Then there's the issue of me already having to ask her and the people she brought over one night to turn their junk down because they were drinking and watching a film at 11 PM on a week day when the rest of us were all trying to sleep and if I talk to her it feels like I'm the only one who's bothering to talk to her. I know one of my flatmates is also having an issue with her bringing people over, but the other 5 flatmates are Chinese and seem like they'd never talk to her about it, or that they'd have no idea how.

Life is for living, not for losing.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Lion Heart Offline
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Name: Caite
Gender: Female
Location: Seattle

Posts: 72
Join Date: December 26th 2011

Re: Just issues - November 8th 2016, 07:03 AM

Ok, it is time for you and your roommates to have a serious sit down with the other girl. She HAS to give you notification before she brings that many people over, also, it is completely reasonable to set up a schedule of when people can and cant be over. For example, if my roommate had a party of people over at 12:40 at night and I had class in the morning I'd lose my ******. That is NOT ok.

I'd also like to address your learning disability, I have a disability as well. I have dyscalculia and it is very severe, to the point that I picked a major with no math because I knew it would take me forever to graduate. That being said I still had to make it through general university requirements (even basic math is hard for me tbh) and it would have been far more difficult without my disability accommodations. If the option is open to you I strongly suggest you get tested and get your disability registered with your university. By doing that I was able to get 4 hours of free tutoring a week as well as double time on tests and a basic calculator. I also got to take my exams in a quite space in the disability services office so I didn't have to deal with other people's noise.

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of shame surrounding your disabilities and I want to urge you to fight that. There are a lot of amazing people who have intellectual disabilities that do very well academically. For example my art history professor has dyslexia and dyscalculia, he has his PhD in art history as well as a masters in philosophy. My old math tutor had her masters in physics and was going for her PhD at only 21 years of age, obviously a smart lady, and she needed MASSIVE accommodations for reading a writing. I believe she had to take English 101 like three times. I'd also like to note that these people aren't ashamed of their disabilities, they embrace them and they do not hide them. They recognized they needed help and they asked for it. If someone shames you for your disability then they are a horribly ignorant person. I want you to know that it is not okay for someone to treat you that way. It is okay to have different strengths and weaknesses from other people and to rely on them to help you, they shouldn't scoff at you for having trouble.

Anyways, I hope this help!

"If you touch a spider web anywhere, you set the whole thing trembling. . . . As we move around this world and as we act with kindness, perhaps, or with indifference, or with hostility toward the people we meet, we too are setting the great spider web a-tremble. The life that I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place and time my touch will be felt. Our lives are linked. No person is an island."
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