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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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Indifferent vs. Passive - November 28th 2016, 07:24 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of peer pressure or bullying, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I think most people have the completely wrong idea about this. They don't see the difference "indifference" and "passiveness".

For example, I'm indifferent about how precisely I get my hair cut at the hairdressers, so long as I don't look like a clown. Any simple shave does it for me, with scissors, or without. I don't care which, if the end-result is the same. So if I say "yes" to either of those, it doesn't mean I'm "passive". I means I'm indifferent. I don't give a shit. That's a big difference. I'm not one of those guys that checks how I look from every angle afterwards. I just pay and walk out.

I'm actually very indifferent about most things, which other people are not. I'm rather indifferent about the clothes I wear, so long as they don't smell or look stupid. Unless it's a special occasion. I'm indifferent about my transport, as long as it gets me to my destination on time. I'm indifferent about my mobile phone, so long as it can carry out the necessary tasks I need it for on a daily basis. I'm indifferent about what restaurant me and my friends stop in to eat, so long as there aren't some shitty people looking for a fight there.

I quite genuinely, don't give a damn. So if someone makes me a suggestion and I say "ok" to it, it's not because I'm "passive". It's because I don't feel like having an unnecessary discussion about it... and if other people have a preference, why not let them have it? Why? So I can prove something? Like I already said, I don't care. And I don't keep friends, around whom I need to constantly put on a tough act.

Hopefully people see the difference. I'm not the type of person to say "no", just for the sake of saying "no" and being a prick to prove a point. Ask me to concede on something that I actually am not indifferent about... and you will have a very hard time convincing me. There aren't many such things or topics of conversation, because I'm generally a focused person... and things outside of that focus simply don't get my attention much.

Example of a few things which I'm not indifferent about:
  • People playing loud music in the library. Yes. I go there to focus on my work, and that sort of shit pisses me off, and it doesn't fly for very long when I'm around. It doesn't happen often either.
  • Theft. I'm not indifferent about someone taking my things. I put hot chili sauce my ice cream when I lived in student housing, because pigs kept stealing my food. That wasn't enough, so then I put laxatives in my milk. And when someone "borrowed" my laptop without asking me I called the police. I knew who took it. I just wanted to send a message, because I had had enough of it by then.
  • Animal cruelty, perhaps surprisingly (to some people). It pisses me off when I see someone walking their dog and kicking it in the ribs because it doesn't keep up. It pisses me off too when people do it to each other.
  • I like my sleep, and I'm not indifferent to people disrupting it. Don't fuck with me when I'm sleeping. Just don't. Unless the house is burning down or something like it. When I lived in student housing and fire alarms kept going off on Friday night, I did on more than one occasion feel like I was about to go after the cretins who don't know how to use an electric oven. And I punched a hole in the plasterboard of my ceiling once, when at 3am something crawled into the roof space and was making noise. It was happening almost every night for several weeks. I drove me a bit off the edge.
And there are more things that I'm not indifferent about, and good luck trying to get me to bend over on those things.

.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.



Last edited by .Brittany.; December 10th 2016 at 04:04 AM. Reason: Just adding a prefix
   
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Re: Indifferent vs. Passive - December 8th 2016, 04:40 AM

Hey BDF,

Sorry you haven't received any feedback as of yet. I completely see where you're coming from. Reading your post actually gave me some information that I didn't actually know before, so I have learned something new today! I hope you start feeling better about this indifferent/passive situation/frustration soon!

Brittany



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Re: Indifferent vs. Passive - December 9th 2016, 01:55 PM

Yea, I can get positively irritated when I have to act like an asshole around certain people, just so they don't make the "wrong" assumptions about me. And me getting irritated just makes this even more effective actually.

That is, in most cases I don't think I'd even give a damn if someone thinks I'm "passive" or not, provided everyone goes about their own business. But some "special" people like to take this a step further and think they can invade my space, push me around... then act like I did something wrong when I snap at them because they didn't get the message earlier when I tried to be more subtle about it.

About 10 years ago when I was still in school, there was this one prick who would provoke me in the lunch hall. One time he sat opposite me and just started eating my chips. I tried to stab his hand with my fork, but missed because he was expecting it. Later when he was walking by with his tray, I kicked the chair opposite me under his feet. It was coincidence / luck that I timed it so perfectly, and he was looking the other way when I did it. The result was theatrical. His tray and all went up in the air, then he disappeared under a table. And yes, I got a detention, and it wasn't my first or last either.

I don't do that sort of stuff today anymore, or I'd probably be in prison. And also I usually have less reason to. Adults don't generally do that sort of shit. Usually it's more subtle / manipulative instead of being directly confrontational.

.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


   
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Re: Indifferent vs. Passive - December 10th 2016, 04:03 AM

I'm glad that you don't act like that anymore as it technically is bullying. You could've gotten in a lot more trouble then you did. I was bullied from elementary school all the way until I was done college. Being bullied is not fun.

Again, I'm glad that you don't do that anymore, because like you said you might end up in prison if something went to far.

I have also decided to add a prefix just in case someone gets triggered easily by bullying issues



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