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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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Still bitter - December 4th 2016, 09:45 AM

I don't understand what it is about me. I shouldn't care and maybe I do less now than I have before but I still wonder and I still think about things that have been said before to me. One person told me while accusing me of ruining something that I don't remember because I don't know what's going on half the time because I'm on f**king pills. I don't understand even when neither of those facts were true, why would you say that? Especially when your mate actually took his own life earlier this year? You can't be a prick about mental illness. You are such a horrible person and I do not understand why people seem to like you?

Another couple of people told me to sort my life out and to go back into education and asked if I'm going to work this job forever in that tone of voice like it's not acceptable and I'm a loser or whatever. I do not understand why they said that. Is it not acceptable to have no idea what I want to do with my life? Is it not acceptable to have a 'standard' or 'rubbish' job and earn some money while figuring it out? I just don't understand. Now if you compare your so valued education with mine and our jobs and career outlook? Surely even you have to laugh at how pathetic you are.

I'm still bitter and I think I always will be.

So now I'm going to get through my to do list and just get on with it and not waste more time on this rubbish I can't change.
   
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Re: Still bitter - December 12th 2016, 05:21 PM

Hi there,

I'm so sorry you have yet to receive a reply. I actually read this post when you first posted it and wanted to think about what to say to it, then life got busy.

ANYWAYS, onto your post. I'm the same way when it comes to not remembering things that happen. I have had a terrible memory for the past couple years. I actually went for some tests to make sure nothing was wrong with my brain. I'm on 5 different medications and I feel like I'm not a normal person. However, I much rather be happy then depressed all the time.

I find people who don't have a mental disorder don't really understand what it's like to have a mental disorder. My friend has never had to deal with these kind of issues before so she always attacks me when it comes to things like that.

The same sort of thing is when it comes to education and work life. When you have a mental disorder it's really hard to go back into school and to go through the process of finding a new job. You don't have to rush on going back to school. You can also see if they offer online classes that you can take so you don't have to go through the anxiety of going back to school.

The last thing I can recommend is to talk to your friends. Tell them what's going on, and how you feel when they attack/talk to you the way they do. I hope that that type of communication will help more for your friends to understand what's going on.

Let me know if you need anything else, I hope this helps at least a little bit.

Stay strong,
Brittany



“You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.”


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Re: Still bitter - December 15th 2016, 04:13 PM

Hi, thanks for your reply. I wasn't expecting a reply or felt I needed one. I'm alright and don't expect much from most people. I'm happier this way. But yes still, thank you!

I was just posting because I was getting myself pissed off with stuff that's been said to me in the past. I don't associate myself with these people anymore. In fact I don't associate myself with many people simply because I can't be arsed. I'm happier on my own.

I was being bitter, and I still am and probably will be forever. That man who told me I forgot I ruined something in his house was an old landlord. He is a liar and a complete (insert whatever horrible word here you please, they all apply). He knew I had mental health issues and had at a time while living in his house had been on pills. He knows I didn't do this thing he accused me of, he was just trying to bully me into accepting that he wasn't going to pay me back my deposit. I got that back though because he didn't like me sticking up for myself. And yeah, his mate committed suicide so it was just a double whammy of him taking the absolute piss out of mental illness. I was a lodger though so saw the real him, whereas a lot of these people that seem to like him I guess haven't had that privilege.

The couple of friends I was referring to were mates who I also no longer associate myself with. At the time they were doing the same degree which in my view was a useless degree, just I wasn't so open about my view, you know, because as a friend I didn't want to hurt them. If they were happy then go for it. But they'd make comments to me asking if I'm going to stay working in my full time admin job forever like it wasn't good enough. They'd tell me to go back into education, even when I would tell them I don't know what I would study as I don't know what I want to do with my life. It just never seemed good enough that instead of following their path of getting in student debt while figuring out what I want to do, I was working and earning instead. They didn't even approve when I was reconsidering my drinking habits as I know all the stuff drinking had cost me yet they didn't seem to approve of that either. The result of drink had cost one of them a lot too, yet I felt I was the one learning from it. I guess we just didn't have the same values anymore. And now it's been a few years, they've finished their degrees and can't say they've got a lot out of it. I'm now 6 months away from finishing a degree as I finally figured out what I want to do and my career is looking pretty bright.

I win
   
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