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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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Can Someone Explain What's Wrong With Me? - January 2nd 2017, 08:31 AM

Can someone just fucking explain why the hell i am the way i am? I smoke weed, but i never get high. I drink, but i never get drunk. I'm addicted to sex, Id fuck a guy not because im attracted to them, but just because id be fucking someone, i masturbate 40 times per week roughly, I'm into bdsm as a dominant, I like killing, I'm violent then a motherfucker, I'm always angry at everything and everyone, I constantly manipulate the people I'm around, I stopped believing in love a long time ago, but my own self control keeps me sane and from lashing out at all. I never let my anger show because my self control keeps it under wraps. i'M THE FUCKING CLASS CLOWN FUNNY GUY FOR FUCKS SAKE. People constantly come to me for advice, and nearly all the time i help, and my advice fuckin works. I know more about other peoples problems than some of their family members because of how much people trust me. And i still cant feel anything. Its all a numb life goes on sort of thing. But i can fake it so that im not seen as antisocial. Im still alive because i got shit to do. I dont have time to waste killing myself, i got people to feed, and a world to conquer. But that knife keeps creeping back. I've grown to hate my family and only enjoy a few select peoples time. I have no outlet because I'm ugly, so i almost never fuel my sex addiction, and feel like im constantly in withdrawl, with no fucking light at the end of the tunnel. Ive always felt alone, since i was small, and it aint gotten better. I trust no one, everyone trusts me, and i use that to my advantage. Also I'm personally offended and triggered by people who say they are offended and triggered, because i figure i can keep all my fuckin issues under the hood, why the fuck can't you? Too many attention whores to see the actual people with legitimate problems. Sorry if that offends people. Ive saved so many lives and id like to save so many more, yet i feel like i could take more than both combined without a second thought. Making people happy is one of my favorite pastimes. Manipulating them towards a darker path comes soon after. Prolly the worst part? I like it. I like myself and hate my self at the same time. But i love myself. I love what i do. It gives me this droll dark sort of pleasure that i can only find in the darkness. The light has never really given me anything, and the good die young. Figure i should try to live forever, feel me? I dont expect any replies messages or people coming out of the woodworks to talk, but what the hell? Im always down for conversation. Talking distracts me, and i end up learning more about the other persont hen they do about me. So just so everyone knows, I'm an 18 year old straight white male. Proceed to fuel my hatred. I like it when people interest me, what can you bring to the table?
   
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Re: Can Someone Explain What's Wrong With Me? - January 6th 2017, 02:55 AM

Hi there,

I'm sorry that you're feeling like this. No one can really tell you what's wrong with you, however I highly recommend talking to a counselor or a therapist as they might have more of an idea of how you can get some of those things under control.

Stay strong
Brittany



“You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.”


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