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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
fallenskies Offline
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Name: Olivia
Gender: Female
Location: Australia

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Join Date: January 22nd 2017

everything that's wrong lately - May 31st 2017, 10:50 AM

This is just a rant post but you can still pm me because it'd be nice to have someone to talk to.

i feel like im just destined to be a failure. I'm failing classes at school, mostly math and science, two of the core subjects, two of the most important subjects you need to pass in order to get into a good university/job. And i'm not even that worried. i don't revise, and I expect these marks, but truth is, i actually don't know how to revise. do you just read through your notes? what do you do?? i guess im just really lazy and a pro procrastinator but that's not really something to be proud of since most of my assignments are either late or never submitted at all. i really need to pull my socks up, but i just really don't see the point anymore. right now i should be starting on a presentation and an essay that are both due tomorrow but i'm on teenhelp, ranting about it. i know all of this is my fault and i should take the initiative to start getting my life together, but im just too fucking lazy.

(every new paragraph is a new rant topic) so my 'friend' got a boyfriend recently, and since she's a total bitch it just had to be my crush. idk if she knew, i have a feeling she did, but she has this thing where she flirts with guys, gets them, then dumps them right after. he doesnt deserve to be treated this way. although, so far it's fine. they wanted to keep it a secret,
but i caught her texting him during class and made her spill. i dont know what my feelings are anymore. i dont know if its jealousy, anger, or if i just feel incompetent. i dont have a grip on my emotions and let them show even when i dont want them to so its a miracle i didnt break down when i found out about this. i don't wanna break them up, but i dont want them together either. is that evil? am i evil? i probably am. i'm a total bitch. i lecture people on the things that i dont like about them but i do them too. why am i like this?

i know that you shouldn't judge someone based on their looks, but I can't help feeling inferior when it comes to the beauty department. I'm not attractive at all. Sure, people say I'm pretty or whatever, but I can tell when they're lying, and they mostly always are. except for friends. but they're obliged to. All the guys i've ever liked i've always felt inferior to. I'm not good enough for them. but then again, its not like they'll ever like me anyway. but i cant help but wish that i was born 'perfect'. not perfectly perfect, just to look somewhat attractive, smart, organized, and for it to be normal that guys like me. that's really shallow isn't it? *sigh*
it's so hard to compliment yourself these days. if you do, people say you're full of yourself. if you don't people say you don't love yourself enough.
society is never pleased.

i guess this is it. i mean, i could rant forever and ever, but i really neeed to get started on my homework. i would really appreciate it if you took the time to read all that crap. pm me if ya want also, i've been told im a great listener.


Heyo. PM or VM me if you need someone to listen. I'm also constantly in need of hugs so if you wanna give me some that'd be great too
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Celyn Offline
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Re: everything that's wrong lately - June 1st 2017, 08:42 PM

You're not lazy or destined to be a failure. It's easy to procrastinate and let school work get out of control until it feels like there is no point. But it's always worth trying. Reading notes can seem boring so perhaps create mind maps or summarise your notes and use highlighters and different colours to help things stick in your mind. Or record yourself reading your notes and play it back frequently to help you remember things. Often the hardest part is just getting started with school work, and once you are over that hump it may feel easier!

You're also not evil at all. I think it's a totally normal reaction to find out that your friend is dating your crush, regardless of whether she knew or not. Though you can't interfere with the relationship, it doesn't mean that you should hide your feelings or pretend to be happy either. Perhaps you can talk to your friend about how you feel and ask that since you care about this person, you don't want them to get hurt?

Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. What one person finds beautiful or not, someone else may feel differently. Also, we are often our worst critics and it can be difficult to accept a compliment when we don't feel it's true. But that doesn't mean that it's not true either. Also, no-one is perfect at all. It's not shallow though as I reckon many people would like to change their appearance in some way to feel better about themselves. It is really hard to accept yourself, but overtime I'm sure it will happen.

It's totally okay to rant and I hope that it helped you to get your feelings out!


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Everglow. Offline
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Re: everything that's wrong lately - June 1st 2017, 11:05 PM

Hi Olivia,

It sounds like you've got a lot on right now so I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you for sharing with us though. I know you have a lot of things to balance but being on TH when you need a rant is a good way of refocusing once it's all been let out, and I really hope that typing this out has been helpful in some way.

Revision is always a hard skill to master because there are so many different methods and it's mainly about figuring out which one helps you most. For some people, as you said, reading notes is all it takes, but for almost everyone I've met, there is more to it. And, similarly, I rarely meet two people who can revise in exactly the same way. Trial and error is the best way forward. I've gone through GCSE's, A-Levels, and I've completed 3 years of university, and to be honest, I'm still not 100% on a single revision method that works for me. You can start by looking at what type of learner you are though. Do you find that in lessons, you take more in when you're listening to your teacher, when your teacher uses pictures/colours and flow charts, or when you have to physically do something yourself? If you're unsure, maybe you can use a bit of all three and see which one you like most. Start by recording your lessons if you're allowed, or recording yourself reading out notes you've made so you can listen back to them. Alternatively, draw posters and diagrams to help you understand and use as many colours as you like. Or, do something that involves moving around. Put flash cards around the house or invent a quiz or game which gets you moving around. My housemate and I once stuck the answers to questions all around the house and then quizzed each other to try and find the correct answer which involved a lot of jumping over chairs and slamming doors, but we still remember a lot of the things from that day! You can also make jokes or stories to help you remember it. For example, if you draw comical pictures, you may remember the joke which will help you remember the fact. Or, if there's a particular sequence or equation within maths/science that you need to remember, try taking the first letter of each word to make a mnemonic, or to tell a story which gives them an order you can remember more easily. Be creative with your revision! It might never be 'fun', but it can be a bit less tedious this way and may make you more motivated to carry on. Remember to take breaks and eat/drink plenty too, and if you really have had enough, stop for a while.

I'm sorry to hear that your friend has upset you. If you're unsure that she knew you had a crush on the person she's seeing, she may not have done it out of spite. It's ok to be upset about it, but try not to let it come between you both. Perhaps you could have a talk with her and tell her how you feel? You can let her know that you have feelings for this person too and establish how much, if anything, she knew about this. Communication is a good way to work through anything, but remember that if she didn't know, she may like this person just as much as you! Of course you can't break them up, however you can work on your own feelings regarding the new relationship. Spend some time with your friend and remind yourself that nothing there has changed. Let her know that if she needs you, you'll be there to support her regardless of your feelings about the situation, and, if she'd like you to, maybe offer to spend time with both of them together so that you can adjust to the situation too. It might not be easy, but it may help to see that both of them are happy. While you may still be upset about it, maybe you can find some happiness in their happiness.

Finally, I know how it feels to be unhappy with your own looks. I've spent too many years looking at myself in the mirror and feeling disappointed compared to how other people look. It's a lot of hard work overcoming the negative thoughts we have but it's the hard work that makes it worth doing. Over the last few years I've put a lot of energy into tackling my own negative perceptions of myself, and I found that surrounding myself with people who I could be myself around encouraged me to become more me than I'd ever been before. Spend time with your family and friends, and anybody else who makes you forget that, at times, you may not completely like yourself. And at other times, you've got to understand that complimenting yourself IS ok. It may make you feel like you're being full of yourself but, why can't you be? You've got a life to lead and the only person you should really be confident about is you. You're kind of stuck with you, you know? You have years left to get to know yourself, and you'll find things you don't like, but you'll also find things you don't hate at all. It's ok to compliment yourself. There's nothing wrong at all with being full of yourself. Personally, I think it's a strong thing to be able to say thank you to a compliment and not brush it off, let alone to be able to say "I'm beautiful". But you are. You're as beautiful as anyone is. Beauty is relative. What one person things is beautiful, another may not, and that's ok because diversity is one of the best things in this world. Regardless of how beautiul the people around you might be, you're just as worthy and just as wonderful, and it's perfectly ok to believe that completely. To be perfect is impossible. Flaws exist in all of us and that's a part of being human.

I hope this has helped a bit. And I hope you're receiving some PMs! Please let me know if you need anything else at all. Stay strong, ok? You've got this.



A paradox:
The things you donít need to liveó
books, art, cinema, wine, and so onó
are the things you need to live
.

- Matt Haig



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