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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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Can you hear the silence?
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So my mum just said this - June 13th 2017, 08:14 PM

For all of you who know me I'm dyslexic and I just need to rant so I'm going not use full stops and appropriate gramar

My mum was moaning about her life I was going upstairs just saying yeah and she said I'm only talking to you about it and I said yeah we'll I have my own issues to worry about and she responded with yeah nothing important and at this point I turned round and said you have really offended me and she said if it was something important you would tell me and I said no not necessarily I'm a very closed person but I can't believe my mum said this it's disgusting!!!
   
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Re: So my mum just said this - June 14th 2017, 05:18 PM

I'm sorry Justin. That's upsetting and you have every right to be offended.
Parents just really don't get it sometimes...


"All will be well when the day is done"
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Re: So my mum just said this - June 14th 2017, 09:10 PM

I'm so outraged I almost cried how can anyone say this!
   
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Re: So my mum just said this - June 14th 2017, 10:00 PM

I'm sorry your mum said that to you. It's so easy to assume that everyone would react as you yourself would so, while your mum may be more open about things, of course that doesn't mean you will be. I'm sorry she offended you so much and I hope that you and her find a way to overcome this.
I'm glad you came here to rant. We're all here if you need us.



A paradox:
The things you don’t need to live—
books, art, cinema, wine, and so on—
are the things you need to live
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- Matt Haig



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Re: So my mum just said this - June 14th 2017, 10:12 PM

People just assume because I only work part time at the moment and watch Netflix all day that my life is easy it fucks me right off! Thank you so much guys.
   
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Re: So my mum just said this - June 15th 2017, 12:08 AM

Ease is a relative term. What is easy for one person could be difficult for another and there's nothing wrong with struggling. Nothing is a competition to see who has it worse, and like I say, I'm sorry that you were offended by that. Feel free to rant some more if you need to, Justin.



A paradox:
The things you don’t need to live—
books, art, cinema, wine, and so on—
are the things you need to live
.

- Matt Haig



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Re: So my mum just said this - June 15th 2017, 02:57 AM

People often say things when they don't understand someone else's situation. I know my mum has said some pretty hurtful things to me when I was growing up. I haven't forgot what was said to me, but I have come to recognise that she likely said those things to me because she didn't understand my situation and what I was going through internally, this was heavily because there was a lot of family problems and because I would almost always refuse to open up about what's going on. I don't know if this situation is similar for you, but if you haven't, try opening up to your mum a bit more about what's going on with you. It may seem like she doesn't care or that she just 'doesn't get it' but the most common part of that is primarily because a person does not truly understand what's going on with others around them.

Judging by what you've said she's said to you, it sounds like she's unaware of what's going on around her and that perhaps she feels like she's got a lot on her plate at the moment. It also seems like she may think you're willing to open up to her about your personal troubles when realistically, as you've said to her, you're a closed person and she may not have been aware of this. If you help her to understand what's going on, and help break her out of her own bubble, tension between you both may ease.


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Re: So my mum just said this - June 15th 2017, 05:55 AM

perhaps your mom sees you watching Netflix all day and instead of seeing a possibility of struggles you may or may not have, she instead sees that you are working less than her. i think it's important to accept our own lifestyles and who we are, but it's also important to periodically explore how that makes us look to others. it really helps you to see how someone could get the wrong impression of you.

i can understand why that offended you, and i'm very sorry that happened between you guys. fighting with a parent is probably one of the most frustrating and ridiculous things to deal with, because you don't want to have to deal with their BS sometimes, but you know you need them.
i don't know exactly what led up to the climax of that argument, but from what i'm getting, you got tired of listening to her problems? i actually think it might be beneficial if you tried to at least listen. i don't know if your mom is married or how many friends she has or anything, but maybe you're the only person she feels comfortable enough opening up to.
believe me, i completely understand how annoying it can be to listen to someone else bitch and complain about their "problems", when it seems like you have it 10x worse.
but from what i've experienced, helping other people gives you purpose. and a lot of times, that purpose can help with a lot of the issues you are experiencing, even if it's not directly related to those issues. so perhaps by at least being a support system for your mom, you can not only benefit from helping someone else, but perhaps find it in yourself to open up about your own problems as well.
communication is the most important thing in any relationship. even telling her that you're not very comfortable with opening up about your problems could work wonders with making her understand what you're going through.

i'm not saying you were wrong to get angry and snap at her about how you have your own shit to deal with. i'm just saying that i believe any relationship should be an equal relationship


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Re: So my mum just said this - June 15th 2017, 07:20 PM

I'm sorry this has happened and you were offended, Justin. Don't ever be afraid to come on the forums to vent, or to reach out on other parts of the site asking for advice. We're all here to help one another.

I think we all cope with things differently. I don't know what's going on with you, and maybe that has a part to do with why you are working so little, but it sounds like you are using Netflix to cope. Maybe you could sit down with your mum, tell her to remain open-minded while you explain everything to her. How you use Netflix to cope, why you don't work as many hours as she seems to think you should, and what's going on with you.

Do you have a counselor or a trusted friend you can talk to? I would suggest reaching out to them for support as well. While coming to us here on TeenHelp is great, it would also be nice to be able to communicate with someone face-to-face.

Again, don't hesitate to reach out for advice or come on to vent if you need to.
   
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