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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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Unhappy Things - September 26th 2018, 08:10 AM

Things lately have been hard. Recently, my step mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. We though it was simple, seeing as it was a 2A. I was told it could take a year to recover.
However, more tests and I just found out its not simple at all. Its the type of cancer that can be treated, but can be triggered again. And she's required to go through chemotherapy (?). I may be getting some names wrong. its triple negative cancer.
I just found this out today, as did they. My dad told us we have to stay positive throughout this whole thing, mainly because studies show if you fight it positively, it'll be dorman for a decades.

I've already lost my mom about 8 years ago to ecliosy , but during three of those years life had hit my family. I was unable to make friends, I went through with peer pressure, I was bullied, we were financially struggling and my sister and I both were terrible. I didn't do anything. I was just... I don't even remember what I did. My dad decided to sign us up for girl scouts, only to be denied. The reason? I didn't have a woman figure in our life. They wanted the other girls to be safe in case he was a pedophile. Which is a dumb reason to deny two girls into a club.

By 7th and 8th grade I was a terrible person. I stalked my crush and apparently I threatened him but I don't remember. I bullied my friends and only one of them wasn't having it. I wasn't me. In 8th grade I found a new victim. We bullied each other, but more of I started it. We threatened to kill each other and my friend even joined in. My friend and I invented a game called Kill (fake name) Billy.

By freshman year my step mom became a bigger part of our life. Like, moved in. By then, I was dating a senior. I dumped him, and moved on to my other boyfriend who was emotionally abusive. I was cutting because my friend was cutting. We made suicide jokes, talking about dumb ways we could kill ourselves. I almost gave in to buying her weed.

By sophomore year, my sister was born, I had dumbed the boyfriend, and I was happier. I was a much better person. Something in me changed. And I was happier. I found a new guy to crush on and he liked me too, yet we were oblivious to it. Then in the middle of the year I got homeschool. Life got better though my sis turned into a brat. Things were looking up.

Currently, I'm a senior. Dealing with the fact my step mom has cancer. It's scary.nothing feels real... I want to be positive, but its hard. Right now we're all looking into support groups.

Just wanted to rant a bit I guess...



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Re: Things - September 27th 2018, 01:10 AM

Hello,

I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with this right now. I hope that writing this was able to help you some. When you are able to write what you are going through and it will be able to get out all kinds emotions that you have been keeping inside of you for a while and they can come out on the paper or in this and then it can help you to feel a little bit better.


When you hear the word cancer it is not a good feeling because you start thinking so many things and then you are feeling different types of things too. And that is totally fine to feel all kinds of things when you are going through this I am truly sorry that you are going through this right now. Would you be able to talk to someone about how this is upsetting you and let them help you out with this. Would you be able to talk to someone at school a teacher that you're really close with or the school counselor? Or would you be able to talk to a friend and let them know that you're having a hard time or would you be able to talk to you're parents.

Also when you are having a hard time with all of this would you be able to try something to get you're mind off of this for a while. Try going for a walk or calling a friend or putting on funny movies or TV shows to make you laugh or music or anything else that you like to do for a while to help you to be okay soon. I hope that you will be alright soon. Sending you lots of hugs.


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Re: Things - September 27th 2018, 04:31 AM

Thank you.

Right now, we're looking into support groups and we're trying to be positive. We make a few light jokes and we're going to be a bit more open. People will be constantly coming over. We all just got journals to mark this journey. Dad's doing a good job keeping good vibes so it's easier to cope.
Thank you for the support. We won't give up



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