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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Rivière Offline
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Just another moan thread - May 13th 2020, 07:02 PM

Some days are a little harder than others. I struggle to motivate myself a lot at the moment. It doesn't help that my workplace won't be opening until July. This means I have no real reason to leave the house except to go to the shop and buy food with my invisible money. Maybe one form of exercise a day. The days I do feel motivated to go out for a walk, the weather takes a dump and just resets my motivation.

I live in a house where I can't workout very well. There's a lack of space and the equipment I have, I've outgrown it and it's too light. When I do try and use it, I have no space to use it properly. It's just this endless circle.

My mum tries to get me to come into the garden and do stuff with her, but after all the arguments of last month I just don't really want to spend time with her or any of my family, really. I feel seriously trapped, suffocated.

My brother has been intending to leave home for some time. My mum decided to approach me today and say, 'Has your brother told you he's found a flat?'... it really put a huge downer on my day. Lucky for him he still gets to work and earn money even if it is from home. I don't. I get paid by my company but the pay I get doesn't cover the monthly gym rent. I literally can't spend any of what I earn, hence my invisible money. Her telling me he's leaving is just a huge reminder, and kick in the face. She gets upset with him for telling her about him trying to find a flat because it's 'stressing her out' (I have no idea why), but she's ok telling me he's found some new place even before he was able to.

I feel like because he's leaving, I'm going to be stuck here in the house alone with a pair of over 60 year old people who don't see things the way I do, take each other's side without considering mine. Forcing me to apologise all the time when sometimes whatever's happened isn't even my fault. Not to mention my mother's general suffocating behaviour and not being flexible to my feelings. It's her way or no way.

I've given up trying to tell her how she makes me feel. The last time I told her she'd upset me, she burst into tears and literally locked herself in the bathroom. My uncle then found her and got angry at both my brother and I, telling us to 'f off and leave' if we don't like some house rule.

Although he apologised and blamed it on the virus, that really felt like the end of the road for me. I can barely stand to be around them anymore. I just want out. I can't go anywhere because I have no money. I'm trying to see the positives and think about the fact it's just 1 1/2 months and then hopefully I can return to work, get clients again, earn enough and find my own place nearer to my place of work.


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Re: Just another moan thread - May 13th 2020, 08:21 PM

Hello Sarah,

I am truly sorry that you are having a hard time with all of this right now and I hope that you will be okay soon. You we're talking about how you do not have a lot of room to work out in you're house and I totally understand that. When we want to work out and we don't have a lot of room it can be really hard and I'm really sorry about this. I know that you are used to doing a big workout all of the time, would you be able to do a smaller workout in you're house or outside in you're backyard. For example can you do sit-ups or jumping jacks or mountain climbers inside the house and you can set up an obstacle course outside if the weather is nice. This way you are able to still workout and you are able to do something that you enjoy doing. You can try going for a walk around you're house too.

You we're also talking about how you we're fighting with you're mom and I'm really sorry about that. Sometimes when we a fighting with someone and they want us to do something we don't always want to do it, because you keep thinking about what happened and we don't want to spend time with them. If you want you can try talking to her about what happened and see if maybe the two of you can work it out. I know being home a lot of people are fighting and it's really hard being home with everybody. We all love each other and it's really hard right now, so no matter what it is big or small we are getting upset. I hope that you are able to work through this and you will be ok soon.

I'm also sorry about you're brother moving out and how that makes you feel. When all of this crazy stuff going on with everyone ends, you will be able to start working again and I know that you will be able to find a lovely place. Try to find something to get you're mind off of this for a while so that you are not thinking about it so much. Put on a movie or TV show, grab a book or drawing or painting or calling a friend or something else that you like to do. I hope that you will be ok soon. Sending you hugs to help you.


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Re: Just another moan thread - May 13th 2020, 11:51 PM

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate it.

I have tried doing some workouts in my room. Mostly upper body stuff. I just get demotivated because of the lack of space. I can't do any outside despite how much space we 'should' have out there. My mum tends to grow a lot of fruit and vegetables so the garden is swamped with trees and vegetables, plus a shocking amount of sheds. Our patio has a ton of plant pots all over it and there's nowhere we can move them. There's quite literally nowhere to go.

I've tried talking to her after the argument last month. I ended up having to apologise to her for the fact she upset me all because she was crying and locked herself in the bathroom. I told her exactly what the problem was and she just came up with all these different 'reasons' which always change every time something happens in the house. I accept she has a lot of issues herself, and I try to look past them, but she's in such a position that she refuses to get help from anyone. When she does try to get help, she goes to them but never listens. It's like she has this certain expectation of how she 'should' be getting help and if it's not given in a certain way that she wants, she just ignores it. It wasn't very nice when my uncle found her and instantly took her side, despite the fact she burst into tears all because I said she upset me. With that in mind, trying to talk to her about what problems I have... it's virtually impossible. She completely overreacted. It's like living with a minefield.

I'm trying to keep in mind that this lockdown will end eventually, but I feel like it's going on forever. I've been trying to keep myself occupied and have set myself little goals to achieve and some parts go well, other parts not so much. I've tried to take more walks even to just go deliver things to the post office, but due to quarantine, they only allow 3 people inside at a time which leaves this insane queue outside and down the road where everyone stands 2 metres apart. Even though I'm outside, it can be kind of depressing because of having to do that.


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Re: Just another moan thread - May 14th 2020, 08:23 PM

Hi,
I am sorry that you do not have a lot of room in you're room to workout and it is also the same for you when you go outside too. Do you have a park that is near you or any stores that you can drive to or you can walk to and it is shut and you can workout in the parking lot? When my parents and I are driving to the grocery store we see people working out in empty parking lots all of the time. Also the park that is down the street from me, people are always walking around it and doing workouts, kids playing.

I'm sorry that when you and you're mom are fighting you are the one who has to apologise. The next time the two of you have a fight, just try to focus on yourself and try not to get upset about what has happened. Try getting out of the house and going for a walk if you can with headphones and listen to music for a while to help you out.

I have been believing that this lockdown is never going to end. I hate it so much. My dad was watching the news and States are openings up, so soon we will all be open up and have our lives back and we will be able to go out, go to work and do whatever we want to do. I hope you will be okay soon. Sending you hugs.


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Re: Just another moan thread - May 15th 2020, 11:18 AM

Hi there,

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. It must be hard and frustrating to want to be able to work out but can't due to the lack of space. It definitely sounds like you are under a lot of stress and are experiencing high level of anxiety as well due to your family. That can happen at this point in time due to the lockdown and because of the lack of income due to a lot of businesses being closed. The only thing I can suggest is to continue setting yourself little goals that won't interfere with your family and where you are able to keep your space. I know sometimes the weather may not be perfect but going for walks has helped me over the past couple of weeks. If you need anything, please let me know.


   
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Re: Just another moan thread - May 15th 2020, 11:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Golfing girl View Post
Hi,
I am sorry that you do not have a lot of room in you're room to workout and it is also the same for you when you go outside too. Do you have a park that is near you or any stores that you can drive to or you can walk to and it is shut and you can workout in the parking lot? When my parents and I are driving to the grocery store we see people working out in empty parking lots all of the time. Also the park that is down the street from me, people are always walking around it and doing workouts, kids playing.

I'm sorry that when you and you're mom are fighting you are the one who has to apologise. The next time the two of you have a fight, just try to focus on yourself and try not to get upset about what has happened. Try getting out of the house and going for a walk if you can with headphones and listen to music for a while to help you out.

I have been believing that this lockdown is never going to end. I hate it so much. My dad was watching the news and States are openings up, so soon we will all be open up and have our lives back and we will be able to go out, go to work and do whatever we want to do. I hope you will be okay soon. Sending you hugs.
All the parks here have been closed to prevent social gatherings.

I was going to go for a walk at the time of the arguing but then something stopped me, I don't know what. If something like that happens again, I'll try next time and see. Knowing my family though, they'll think I've run off or something.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Omen. View Post
Hi there,

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. It must be hard and frustrating to want to be able to work out but can't due to the lack of space. It definitely sounds like you are under a lot of stress and are experiencing high level of anxiety as well due to your family. That can happen at this point in time due to the lockdown and because of the lack of income due to a lot of businesses being closed. The only thing I can suggest is to continue setting yourself little goals that won't interfere with your family and where you are able to keep your space. I know sometimes the weather may not be perfect but going for walks has helped me over the past couple of weeks. If you need anything, please let me know.
Thank you for that.

My mum and I have started making Friday our 'go for a walk' day. We both go for a walk somewhere where it's quiet. Due to where I live, thankfully there's a lot of it. I live near a river, so it's nice to walk around and go there sometimes. I'll see if she's interested in going there at some point.


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Re: Just another moan thread - May 18th 2020, 06:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rivière View Post
Thank you for that.

My mum and I have started making Friday our 'go for a walk' day. We both go for a walk somewhere where it's quiet. Due to where I live, thankfully there's a lot of it. I live near a river, so it's nice to walk around and go there sometimes. I'll see if she's interested in going there at some point.
I try and go for a walk everyday (depending on the weather ) as it allows me to still continue to exercise and helps with me reaching my target goal weight. My mental heath has approved because of it as well.


   
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