good day yesturday that got ruined!

[I-Love-him]

i just need to rant!
yesturday i went out with my mate,my boyfriend and my mates' friends to a theme park.it was all good fun but then my boyfriend really really angered me!!! i posted about that in the relationships and dating thread so i won't rant anymore about that!
i can never do anything right! i always ruin everything!!! friday, i went horse riding, i use to do it a lot in the past but i fell off and never got back on until a few weeks ago.anyway, i managed to get the horse to canter all the way around the paddock and i was very proud,that was the ONLY good thing i have done in years, i never succeed at anything else!! i was very proud of myself. my mum and dad didn't care though! they never do! they never want me to succeed,they never praise me, never tell me how well i've done,never reasure me,never encourage me!!! they are good parents just very un enthusiastic!!

anyway,yesturday i got a letter off colege,i've gotten into the course for september but now they are saying they want me to pay £45!!! i had a interview with them a couple of months ago and they NEVER mentioned anything about £45!!! i wish they would have said something back then because i would have had the money! now i don't have any money to pay them at all!! and i refuse to let my mum pay or anything because she always pays for me!! i have no job, no money,and now it looks like i can't get onto the course in september! i'm so upset and furious!

and then to top it all off, i showed my mum the letter they sent yesturday and i said "so now i'm not going to be able to go!!" and she just cares about herself! all she said was "well if you don't go i won't be able to get my benefits!!!" my god i was so furious with that comment, i can't repeat what i then said to her, it was not nice and i swore a lot! my boyfriend was sitting right next to me when the arguement happend,i stormed upstairs and started crying! my boyfriend came to comfort me but all he said was "she didnt mean it like that" ....O YES SHE DID!!!!!!

you see my mum is based around one thing, money!! i've always believed she loves her money more than me and if she had to choose over me and money she would choose money. i believe she only gave birth to me for the child benefits she gets!! and ok to be fair she does spend money on me BUT i didn't exactly say to her "i'm not gonna be able to go to colege,and i ain't getting a job!!" if i didn't go to colege ofcourse i would look for a bloody job!!! stupid women!! shes said sorry but i don't give a toss and my boyfriend apologised too!!
what is sorry though? it's just a pathetic word!!!! sorry won't fix it will it???

and my dad,well he's based around one thing too...alcohol!

my god i'm so angry,upset,hurt and feel so bloody lonely!!!
thanks for any replies,even if they're little comments, i could really do with a cchat to someone about this but i have no one!

[moyshi239]

Hey there,
First off, great job horse back riding! I've always wanted to do it but I never had the time time to learn, and it looks tricky. Trying the things you enjoy after leaving them alone can be hard at first but as soon as you start to pick it up again you'll get back to where you were before and improve. So keep it up!

Congratulations on getting into the college course you wanted! That's great, and I really hope you're able to get the money you need to accept the offer. I guess there are a few options you have right now if you're looking for money.

I know you don't like the idea of asking your mother for money but if you do it this one time, you can always pay her back at a later date, so it's like you never used it at all. Another suggestion is to apply for jobs, although i'm getting the feeling there isn't enough time before the money is due to go through the process of finding a part time job. Maybe instead of getting a part time job, you could find family friends, neighbours that need help doing chores or babysitting and get paid to help them out. That could help you raise money and it doesn't mean you're stuck with a job.

Those are just a few ideas I could think of. Don't let this opportunity go just because you can't get the money! You don't want to look back and regret not taking this course because you couldn't pay the fee yourself, you know? (Also, i'm not sure if your college will have that but I know schools here tend to have programs you can use to apply for bursarys, which will grant you money if you're having financial difficulties, so check that out, you may be able to apply for one.) Good luck finding a way to get the money. :]