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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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puala__koala Offline
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i feel like fucking shit - November 9th 2009, 12:10 AM

i havent been getting along with my gf lately adn i wanted to talk to her today about what we were gonna do (which probably would have ended up in a break up but still) and she stood me up. i feel like fucking shit. im breaking up with her but idk i feel like aboslute shit what a fucking bitch. and SHE keps on accusing me of not loving her and shit and trying to get with other people. OF COURSE I AM IF SHE TREATS ME LIKE THIS!!!

to only make it worse, i found out that this girl that has been constantly dropping hints on and off said that she didnt want anything wiht anyone. her ex thats trying to turn her straight said this so im not sure if its true or not but i thought we had something and idk...

and thats not all of it, not even close. my childhood friend, who has been acting really weird for liek the past few years, is apparently a schitzophrenic. she had a brain tumor shortly and the doctors said that as soon as the inflamation in teh brain went away she would return back to normal. shes been going in and out of hte mental hospital for the last month adn im scared that if htey dont find the right meds this is what shes gonna be like for the rest of her life.

also, my dad just left for mexico to go work. i miss him like fuck and im scared hes gonna find a girlfriend there and leave me and my family. hes had affairs before and my mom said that if she finds out he has one while hes over there shes gonna leave him for good.

and my parents keep on telling me theyre not paying a cent for my college education cause i wanna go into studio art and im not gonna make any money out of that. like how the fuck am i supposted to even have a descent shot at makign something of myself if i dont go to a good school?

my teachers are bitches they keep on giving me bad fucking grades and telling me to work harder even tho im working my ass off and i end up with fucking B's in everything except art.

and not only that, but my "best friend" is a fucking weirdo who keeps on trying to cheer me up by laughing -yes LAUGHING- at my problems which makes me feel even worse.

and my FUCKING migraine wont go away and I FEEL LIKE ABOSLUTE SHIT AND I WANNA LOCK MYSELF UP IN MY ROOM AND NEVER SEE ANY OF THESE FUCKERS EVER AGAIN AND I HATE PMSING LIKE SHIT!!!
   
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Re: i feel like fucking shit - November 9th 2009, 03:37 AM

Hey there,
I'm sorry you're having a bit of a rough time right now. Migranes feel horrible, so hopefully it goes away soon.

I think you're taking in a step in the right direction by wanting to talk though what you shouldbe happening with your girlfriend. Communication is always important in any relationship and it's good that you want to try and work on that. That being said, it is rude that she stood you up. You're trying and maybe she's not putting the same amount of effort into the relationship. You don't deserve to be put down and guilt-tripped (for something you haven't even done) and maybe you're right in letting her go for now.

As for where you're going to get the money for schooling, well, there are a few different options for you. First, you can get a part time job either during the school year or just during the summer to get some extra money you can use towards college. (Just be sure you're able to handle it, school work does come first.) Second, the school you apply to should have financial aid, and you can check out what they offer there. And third, you can apply for scholarships or bursaries. Do your research and really look out for them. You'd be surprised at how many you qualify for. It doesn't hurt to apply for them, right? Your parents may change your mind later on, so hopefully when the time comes closer they will help with the payments.

I know how frustrating it is to be trying so hard in school but not seeing the grades you want. Maybe you can ask your teachers for extra help, because that shows them that you're trying and using all options available to you. Sometimes that can really help a teacher change their opinion on you and your effort.

Lastly, I feel like you're best friend isn't treating you with the respect you deserve. Is there any way you can talk to her about how it's making you feel when she laughs at the problems you're dealing with? Let her know you want her support but it's difficult when she's not taking you seriously. If you do have a talk with her, stay calm and don't sound like you're accusing her because usually that will only make the person defensive and the situation a little bit more complicated.

I hope you're feeling better soon, and hopefully your rant helped out a bit. Take care, and good luck with everything. :]


Don't just exist...LIVE.
   
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Re: i feel like fucking shit - November 17th 2009, 12:30 AM

thanks its gotten a little bit better.

i left my former gf cause i figured if she didnt bother to call me or get in touch wiht me that day then she probably didnt really care that much and if she didnt care we shouldnt be together.

im looking at scholarships and financial aid and stuff, im just gonna work my ass off with my drawing and then apply for scholarships when im in my senior year and see what i get and oviously wherever i go ill apply for financial aid and yeah..

my teachers are crazy and unreasonable so i dont see the point in asking for anything. i have about a 3.5 GPA which is about what i need to apply for most scholarships.

my so called friend is a jackass and hes not treating me with respect because hes so stupid he wont do anything other than abuse his narcotics (he got into a car accident not too long ago), smoke pot, and get drunk. he was probably high as fuck when he laughed at me..

and thanks, i feel a whole lot better.
   
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Re: i feel like fucking shit - November 17th 2009, 12:46 AM

DUDE!!! I HATE SCHOOL!!! i just want it to be done. im not really learnign anything in two of my classes cause the teachers are fucking retarted and i have a four class schedule so its like half my education at the moment is completely wasted. i dont even know why im here anymore, i know its not to broaden my mind, because the kids here are stupid as fuck! like half of them are biddies who have no experience with anything related to the real world and the other half are stupid kids who think theyre all badass and shit and are gonna grow up to flip burgers. i honestly dont know who i hate more, the stupid kids who are destined to work at minimum wage for the rest of their lives cause they cant get hteir shit together, or the snobby kids who think theyre better htan everyone else because theyre getting all As.

I WANT TO LEAVE!!!! im soo fucking glad i only have a semester this year (im going to california for the second semester to do a program) but STILL!! a whole semester is a lot of time to waste six hours a day surrounded by a bunch of complete idiots. and then i have a WHOLE year to go next year. fml. i just wanna lock myself up in my room and draw and never talk to anyone in my life ever again. if i could i would. id live in a house with 27 cats and id only leave the house to go and get food and stuff. BUT NOOO i have to live around a bunch of people who think im a fucking weirdo and judge me even though they dont know the first thing about me.

WHEN DOES IT END!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!
   
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Re: i feel like fucking shit - November 17th 2009, 02:18 AM

Hey, you have it better than I do when it comes to grades. My GPA used to be a 3.2. Now it's a 2.9. At least you can beat out all those kids when you go to college. Who cares about them, anyway? You'll never have to see them again if they're taking minimum wage jobs after high school.

And then there's those snobby kids. Personally, I hate them the most. They get too full of themselves and trip up when high school's over because their parents pay all that money to send them to a small, quiet, private college. Doesn't sound like too much fun, huh?

You're lucky you get to go to California. You get to have a full semester away from those morons. I can't say the same for me.
Get good grades and have fun after you graduate. You'll be better off than the rest of those kids!
   
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