Break Down (Possible trigger for SI mention)

[AlenRose_XX]

So, I got another call from One Source talent agency. My parents refuse to even check it out. Like, that's my dream. How cool would that be if I actually got a roll? Anyway.... And I couldn't even get upset with my mom cause I came out of the bathroom and her and my best friend were crying so I walk up and wonder what she told my best friend and not her own daughter. So, turns out she's got lung cancer. She wasn't gonna tell me until the surgery. Gee thanks mommy dearest. Blah. I cut last night. A bunch. I cut on my arm as well. Good going me. Now I have to hide it. So not fun. I'm gonna over heat in dance tonight. Oh well. My choreographer knows I'm a cutter and depressed but I don't need everyone else asking questions. Blaaahh. Good thing I've got my bro. He got me through it last night. I'd be nothing without him. <3 Blah. Anyway. It'll all fall back in order, but yeah. Life is just so. Lifey. And I'm definitely not lovin it so much. :| Hope everyone else is well. :] <3

Love and hugs.

~Seb

[moyshi239]

Hey there,
Sometimes, it's really hard for people to tell the closest ones they love that they have something like that. I have a friend who only just found out that his mom had breast cancer and had the surgery to remove it, and his mom only told him years later. Mabye she didn't want you worrying about it if there is a possibility it can go away. Or she was just waiting for the right moment.

Have you tried the alternatives to cutting? When you get urges to SH keep busy doing things like writing, cleaning, listening to music, ect. to try and get your mind off of things.

You're lucky to have such a good brother, and I hope you have a good time at the dance. :]

[AlenRose_XX]

I know. But, in all honesty, she's never really been there for me. I'm so much stronger than she. I felt betrayed when she told my best friend and not I. I'd find out eventually. There would be no way of protecting me once I learned of such. I don't know. Yeah, I am very lucky to have him. He's really only a friend that's as close as a brother. But I call him Mommy and Mom which may sound strange, and he calls me daughter and dahling. Haha. I'll do my best to have fun. Thanks. :]