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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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dr2005 Offline
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Open mouth, insert foot... - March 25th 2010, 09:45 PM

Boy, that was one heck of a way to screw up the day...

Basically my mum is having a pretty shit time at work because her boss seems to be about as much use as a chocolate kettle. Not only is her boss making unrealistic expectations in terms of distance covered for work (my mum works in a lot of outside clinics, which after 3 major ops isn't really the best), but she has also taken the credit for other people's work, changed things without telling people who need to know and generally acting like a bitch. This has been going on for several months, and is driving my mum to find another job.

My dad and I are understandably quite pissed off that she's being treated like this, and have been suggesting for quite some time that she file a complaint. However, my mum doesn't think it will do any good, and has resisted all our suggestions. My view on it is that things will only continue to be shit if it goes unreported, and during a conversation we had tonight I got quite frustrated at how negative my mum was sounding about the whole thing and blurted out that it was almost as though she was making excuses not to do it.

...

Needless to say I regretted it as soon as the words came out of my mouth, my mum got quite upset and I've spent the rest of the evening feeling like a douchebag. My dad has assured me that my mum understands that I didn't meant it as an attack, and that it's only because I'm angry this is happening to her (and the others in the department) and because my mum doesn't deserve to be treated like crap. Even so, making your own mum cry is pretty low.

So yeah...way to go me...FFS...
   
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Re: Open mouth, insert foot... - March 26th 2010, 04:27 AM

Hey Dave,
I think we've all said things we didn't really mean to say when feeling a strong emotion. It seems like you really care about your mom, and she's lucky to have you supporting her.

Her boss doesn't seem to be acting very professional or respectful to your mom as well as everyone else. Having your mom file a complaint seems like a very logical idea, and may seem like such a simple thing to do. However, in her shoes, it may seem like a difficult choice to make. Does your mom prefer to avoid conflict? That may be a reason why she seems to turn down your suggestions all the time. I know it's pretty frustrating to keep giving suggestions or advice to someone who always shuts down your ideas but I think you should keep gently reminding her about taking action. It may be the only way things will change.

Although you regret what you said to your mom, i'm sure her reaction is just from stress. You didn't mean it, so try not to beat yourself up over it. Let her know you're there to help support her, and hopefully she'll take a stand sometime in the future. Take care. :]


A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.
   
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Re: Open mouth, insert foot... - March 28th 2010, 08:31 PM

Be there for her. I have wronged my mom too at other times but leaving that behind and loving her is the best thing to do. For both of you.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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