Maybe I'll be a cat lady after all... -
May 30th 2010, 02:46 AM
I'm trying my best to get over my last a-hole of a bf. I mean, it's only been since Tuesday that I broke up with him and I'm just now starting to feel the effects of all that happened.
I feel so depressed...I mean, I gave a part of myself to this...creep. I gave him my virginity and that was something that meant a LOT to me. I can never, ever get that back. And I HATE that I just gave it to him. In the beginning, he deluded me into thinking "he's the right one for me" (which I learned recently is a great tactic used by controllers) so I went against my better judgement and did it with him. I was so stupid. I mean, he has some serious mental issues, it appears..so why didn't I see the warning signs in the beginning? Grr...
And to top it all off...my last ex (the guy I dated off and on last year) contacted me yet again on myspace. In the last 5-ish months, he's tried to get me to add him on there, and I kept denying. He'd also been texting me about once every two weeks or so. But when I saw yesterday he wanted me to add him, I gave in. I've been thinking about him a LOT today. I got this idea in my head that we'd start talking again and be good friends..I don't really want him back, but I just want someone to talk to..I have no guy friends. But, I got a message from him on myspace, just saying "hey, thanks for the add..hope school's been going well for you" and that's it. I'm so stupid to have actually thought he REALLY wanted to be friends again. I guess I'm just feeling lonely, and yes vulnerable (sounds cheesy, even to me lol) after all that's happened this week. I have to admit, it'd be kinda nice to have him as a friend..he was kinda fun-ish to hang with when we weren't fighting..
So, I guess my future is as a lonely cat lady. I'll be one of those women with 50 cats in her house/yard who talks to them (and myself), just for the company. I don't see myself dating again for awhile..this last crazy guy has done a lot of damage. The only type of guy I seem to attract is the crazy/controlling/manipulative/jealous-of-my-friends type. Doesn't look like normal guys even notice that I'm alive, so I'm stuck either being a lonely cat lady, or settling for someone who treats me like crap.
~*Edward Cullen: Bringing sexy back
~ One day, the right person will come into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else ~
Re: Maybe I'll be a cat lady after all... -
May 30th 2010, 08:10 PM
Awww don't think that way. Take this all as a learning experience. You will find the right guy one day. =) Be patient, get through all the bad ones first. There are a lot of bad relationships before you find a good one. So before you go out and buy 50 billion cats. Just wait it out for a bit. =) Something good will come along for you soon! Just a rough patch in your life. Everyone feels a bit lonely. And also thinks after a bad break up that they will be alone forever. It's not true! There is light at the end of the tunnel. Just pick yourself up and move on. It will all work out soon!
I'll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can't live without.