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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Fabrication Offline
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Angry I can't trust my mom anymore. - September 29th 2011, 10:25 PM

Bottom line: STOP TAKING MY MONEY! (read the rest if you want to know the whole story)

I can remember my mom taking my mom since I started earning money (started by allowance.) It's not like she doesn't say anything, she just gets in my wallet and doesn't say anything. She asks me, constantly, for money. Might be for gas, or cigarettes, or wine, or to even pay back her friends.
Example 1.) I was going to visit my not-blood-related-sister up in Kansas City back in December and my mom was going to give me $100 for extra spending money. Well she gave me $50 for the time being which was fine, I still had 2 weeks until I left. I had put the money away underneath some CD's in my nightstand. Well a week later, I decided to check to see if it was there, HA NOPE, it was gone. I asked her if she took it and she said yes but she would pay me back before it was time to go. I just rolled my eyes because I know about 5% of the time she actually pays me back when she said she would. Well this time she did pay me back on time before I left, but it was only $80, $20 short. Alright fine, I understand.

Basically she always asks me and my dad for money. And it's getting on my nerves and my dad's nerves.
This time I am at the end of my rope. My dad was going to run to the store and I asked him if he could pick me up a magazine. I go to my room and I'm searching everywhere for my wallet. I find it inside my dresser and the last of my $20 is gone. I storm off into the living room and I shake my mom awake and I ask if she took it. She said she did. Unless I've gone crazy and I was already out of money WHICH I HAVEN'T, she took my money, and is now lying to me about it! Correct me if I'm being skeptical but my dad never takes money from me, I could have swore I had that money in my wallet, and she took it.
GRR!!!!
And now she just turned around and just asked my dad for like $100 to get a car back from her friends son who doesn't want it anymore because he can't title it. And I agree with what he was saying to her, we could be getting groceries, or 2 new tires for the car (because our mechanic said the thread is showing and we might have a blowout any time now so that's highly important.) Getting that car back is the least important thing right now. She's always blowing her money on stupid crap like that.
Back to my money, unless I'm right and she took my last $20, she now owes me $50. It's her fault for saying she's going to pay me back, but she keeps taking more money. I'm seriously thinking about hiding my money or getting a little safe for it. Sooner or later I'm going to add interest every day for when she doesn't pay me back because I'm sick of it. She'll say she'll pay me back the next time she get's paid (every Wednesday) but no, it's like 2,3,4 weeks before she actually pays me back.
And it's just like how we just moved, we need to get a tow truck to tow my dad's motorcycle over here because it's not running and he needs to get a hair cut. Etc. Stuff like that is obviously not important to her. And it's just like she was saying how he could of done that stuff several times already. HOW CAN HE, you're always taking his fucking money!
Just ugh. I've had enough.
I CAN'T TRUST MY MOM ANYMORE!


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Re: I can't trust my mom anymore. - September 30th 2011, 03:40 PM

Keep your money on you at all times. I don't have much better advice. It's what I did about your age. My mum never really took my money away as such, but she never trusted me to keep more than 20, so she'd take it off me and put in a bank account which I didn't see till I was 18. I hated it, and quite frequently I'd find my things in my room messed about like she was looking for something. Because of this I've gotten into a habit of keeping large amounts of cash on me at all times. I almost never put down my wallet or phone unless I can see them.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


   
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Re: I can't trust my mom anymore. - September 30th 2011, 04:28 PM

Fallon, this isn't really about trust, it's about boundaries. Those are the unspoken but generally agreed upon 'Rules' and expectations that govern social interactions. Your mom doesn't have very good boundaries, so she feels entitled to take things (money) from you without permission. I understand your feeling violated by this, which needs to be addressed (It's unclear if she knows your feeling, but it's probably doubtful she intends that), but the larger issue is resetting those boundaries. And in order to do that, you might consider two things: First, why doesn't your mom have money of her own? Every family handles their finances differently, but in your family's case, it's not working if she's in constant need for cash. That's probably a parent issue, btw'n your folks, but since it affects you (as she comes to you for money), you can bring that up.

Second, after the primary cause of the problem here is addressed (see above!), you can then let both your folks know how violated you feel when mom comes in and takes things without 'Notifying' you (I selected that word carefully, too, to avoid using the potentially provocative word 'Permission', as many parents believe they do not require that from their kids!), as well as your desire to not get involved in an issue that doesn't (and shouldn't) involve you (see above, again!). This really is an issue btw'n mom and dad, you're collateral damage here, and by very gently pointing that out, you can help them address and resolve this and not put you in the middle.


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Re: I can't trust my mom anymore. - October 2nd 2011, 10:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BDF View Post
Keep your money on you at all times. I don't have much better advice. It's what I did about your age. My mum never really took my money away as such, but she never trusted me to keep more than 20, so she'd take it off me and put in a bank account which I didn't see till I was 18. I hated it, and quite frequently I'd find my things in my room messed about like she was looking for something. Because of this I've gotten into a habit of keeping large amounts of cash on me at all times. I almost never put down my wallet or phone unless I can see them.
This. I keep anything I don't want my mum to find or take on me at all times. If it's sitting somewhere in your room while you're at school, there will be nothing stopping her from taking it. She can't take it if it isn't there, right?
   
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Fabrication Offline
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Re: I can't trust my mom anymore. - October 2nd 2011, 10:43 PM

-sigh- thanks for all the responses. I'm just wondering when I'm going to get all my money back though and when I do I'm going to hide is somewhere.


"..And if you're perusing the social media networks, I urge you to keep your fucking opinions to yourself. If you're going ruin someone's day, ruin your own."
- Bert McCracken
   
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Re: I can't trust my mom anymore. - October 3rd 2011, 03:54 PM

Buy a light socket drawer, it's really easy to install, and no one would bugger around with light sockets in fear of being zapped, and it's an unlikely place to store money. I try not to keep more than $150 dollars on me at any one time, and thankfully my family very rarely borrows my money, but if they did I would probably trust a light socket protector drawer.

Unless you're okay with keeping all your cash with you at all times...

- Justin



"Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
Technologic
   
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