Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Major vent.

[Hallelujah]

So I'm sick of being imperfect.
I'm sick of feeling like I'm never good enough.
I'm sick of hearing about how amazing R is, how fucking perfect and pretty and talented she is.
I'm sick of putting in so much effort, of being silent and not talking and not answering back and having NO opinion.
I'm sick of living with a man who thinks all women should clean and cook, and who expects dinner ready for him every single night.
I'm sick of tidying up after everyone else.
I'm sick of trying so hard to be perfect, when you turn round every 10 minutes and tell me it's my fault.

"We're arguing about money. £35 an hour for the therapist is quite a lot."
"We're struggling for cash. When you turned 18 we lost ALL our child benefits. That makes things hard, you know."
"Your illness is taking it's toll on our relationship."

I can't do this. I can't sit here and listen to how I'm so fucking wrong and useless and a drain on everyone, when I've tried so goddamned hard to get to where I am now.

Y'know when everything is your fault?
Yeah.

The best part?
I can't tell them this because that would be me "Using my illness as an excuse against them".

God.
I feel so fucking unwanted.
So unloved.

Dear Parents.
I apologise for being such a waste of your time.
You can stop pretending to care now, k?