Just a normal, suckish day.

[Eldora]

Today I started keeping a journal. I was tired of spilling all my thoughts to a bunch of people who obviously didn't care heads nor tails about how I feel.

At least, that's what it feels like.


I saw my old best friend today. She ignored me. Didn't even say hello. Looked at me sort of blankly then went to take care of her little plastic baby for parenting class, the bawling little idiot. Thank goodness for Adam and Ethan, for coming over there and talking to me right then.


As I was walking up the stairs from lunch, I found myself suddenly very weary and my heart was pounding a drumbeat inside my neck. I stopped in the middle of the stairs for a moment because I was so tired. Then I continued on upstairs, and ended up finding that I had to walk right back down again.


Third block I did my lab report, and then laid my head down on my backpack and felt for all the world like I was going to fall asleep in a split second. I kept shifting in my seat, trying to stay awake. I ended up calling my mother, and while she was on her way, I just sat there and stared up at the ceiling and counted the nails. My head was so insane that I couldn't answer questions very well at all.



I came home, played a game of 'Go Hunt' with my little brother (basically Go Fish, with woodland animal cards), ate practically everything in sight because I felt like I was starving even though I wasn't, and got on the internet to try and download a song from Amazon. I couldn't figure out how to work the fucking thing, so I came back in my bedroom, and started a journal. Scratched out an angry poem -- that I'd directed at myself -- lightly on my skin with a tack, just for the hell of it. Cried for a few seconds.



And now I just continue to feel terrible.


Oh, yeah, and I made two new friends today. Luke and Kaitlyn. Woohoo. What joy.

[Haylee.]

keeping a journal is great. It's really helped me a lot just to get my feelings out and to kinda relieve me somewhat.

I'm sorry you had such a terrible day I hope things get better for you.

You are more then welcome to PM me anytime if you need someone to talk to. Stay strong.