Triggering (SH): I'm so, so tired.

[Lost_Confused]

I know I have another thread up, but honestly, right now, I don't care.

I can't even see the keys on this damned keyboard because I'm crying so hard. I miss someone being in my life. I want someone to love me, and be there for me. I did have someone I thought like that, but he turned out to be manipulative and controlling so I broke up with him. But now, even with the bad stuff, I wish I could turn time around and stay with him to get the bad stuff just so I can have the good. We were so good together, even with that bad stuff. We had fun times, and everyone wanted to have a relationship like ours. I'm listening to Rihanna's "We Found Love". The beginning just made me burst into tears because she said "It's like you're screaming, and no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important, that without them you feel like nothing. No one will never understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you. And then it's over, it's gone. You almost wish you could have all of that bad stuff back, so you could have the good." That's how I feel right now. I feel so empty, so alone. I just want to have a happy ending, just like everyone else seems to be getting. I just don't want to be alone. My mom just started dating someone in September, and they're both already completely and totally in love. They''ll probably get married within a year, and I wish I could have a relationship like theirs. They have such a good relationship, it kills me bit by bit whenever she gushes about him. I'm happy for her, but I just wish I could have someone like that. Someone who cares that deeply for me. I just.. I used to be fine being alone, but now I don't want to grow up old, and die alone. I just don't want to be alone forever, or even until I'm 30. I just want to be happy with someone. I can't stand the emptiness in my heart.