Oh. My. Gosh.

[Eldora]

Why am I so damned stupid!?





I have this problem, okay? Where I don't trust anyone, where I don't think anyone could voluntarily ever love me. I don't know what the hell is up with that, but okay.


Yeah, well.


I had a pretty sucky day. And it was all caused because I'm an insecure, overly sensitive bitch who uses anger to cover up sadness and ends up hurting everyone around me.


This morning, I get to school. I walk up to my best friend and her boyfriend, and unsurprisingly -- considering my best friend is my boyfriend's best friend -- my boyfriend's there. He dodges around me and into the stairwell, grinning, and of course I (being the highly suspicious person that I am) thought there was something up, and of course, I got upset. Well, instead of giving into crying in front of everyone, I crossed my arms, declared I didn't care, and wrote him a long, rant-ish letter.

He replies, saying he's sorry that he's shy, too, that he didn't mean to make me upset and was just joking around. He told me he'd been told by my best friend that I was gonna try to get him to go into the stairwell with me just for the hell of it, and evidently thought he'd make it easier on me by going in before me and luring me in there.


And I, well, I just flipped out over nothing, basically. And now I'm highly upset, feel epicly stupid and have been all day, and really just want to go lay down in my bed and weep, and to hell with the idea of this foreign idea called: "Supper."