Heartbroken about so many things...

[girl94]

Hey, this is girl94. I'm new here, I got some ranting to do.
I'm scared that I scared this guy off, a guy I really really like, major crush, best friend, etc. since I confided to him in my time of need. He hasn't answered my texts or anything. He's an extremely busy guy though, alot on his plate. But he always talks to me most of the week, not everyday but very close to it. I'm sad about my mother's situation with my dad, etc. I have a question though, how do you know when someone deletes your texts? This guy I was texting, it's like most of my texts vanished, I only have his, though my more recent texts from last night are still there. Did he delete mine? I think once or twice I accidentally deleted one of his texts a few days ago, but I texted him about that, still no reply.

My parents are divorced, my dad was always so abusive to us. It's gotten better to a point, where I can somewhat talk to him. But now talking to him he's like a stranger, he talks so general topics as if I was getting to know a new neighbor or something. One time when I was out with him at lunch, he told the waitress he was my brother and flirting up a storm. That pissed me off. My dad has nothing to do with us ever. Never comes to visit, my mom wants him to move closer so he can spend more time with us, but he still lives downtown refusing to budge for his work, though my mom has had a long commute for years. My dad has gotten us into a bad place finacially. Never paying child support even spousal to my mother, left her to be vulnerable money-wise, and some con-man stole 12 grand from my mom in a matter of seven months. Gosh, I've gotten really sick as well, bed-ridden for about a week, which was my Thanksgiving break. Didn't get to have any fun this Thanksgiving, quarantined to my room for a week...I just would like to talk to that guy maybe text him near lunch time today since I know he gets off early, might mke me feel better.

I didn't want to get too clingy, or needy texting him but at that moment was appropiate. I was scared, cause on Thanksgiving, my mom started acting strange and told me something I didn't know, she thought I had overheard. About overdosing on pills to kill herself. (One night my mother was vomiting, got sick stayed home from work that day...) That night, she in secret without me knowing overdosed. I misintrepreted it as an suicide attempt. I know she was distraught about losing 12 grand, and she acted way too ok about everything when that happened. I ended up going to my guy for advice, since I had no idea what to do. (But I feel I was a tad too negative with him, though he stopped texting me once he knew he got me in a better mood, etc.) Also in terms of negativity, I felt like I got sick because I lost one of my best friends recently, that night I stayed up way too late and cried my eyes out. He knew about that too as well, really supportive.
Well here's what happened with my mother. She finally decided to talk to me about what she told me. She said it was accidental overdose. She took way too many, desperately wanting to fall asleep that night making herself vomit. She said she told my dad she was overdosing to kill herself, so he might be a tad more sympathetic to help out. But it was never attended for suicide. (She mislead me on that.) (I was a little hurt, I told her since she didn't give me a straight story I freaked out majorly. I told her I texted my guy. Well she got mad, I ended up forwarding messages I sent and his own as well. It's kind of now blown-over. But hey, my mom told me something that worried me, I even tried to call my own father about my mother he never called back. When he did, all he said just to move on leave it in the past. I hate the fact, my mom played a mind-game with me, especially when I've been sick for so long.
Well, I guess enough of my ranting lol.