Same story, different time.

[WanderingTomato]

This is kind of a weird post. I've grown into a completely different person over the past few years, yet so much of what I wrote once here is still true. It's kind of mocking me.


February 14, 2011 "7. Soccer is the only thing I enjoy(ed) anymore besides getting shit faced. I can no longer do either of those things."

Different knee, same story. Tearing my ACL is the only thing I was ever scared of. Most things that people are scared of are so improbable that they did not bother me. Other things I simply put out of mind. Now that I have torn my ACL and half of the other things in my knee, reason would say I should have not fears anymore. I find that I am terrified of everything and I don't know how to deal with that.

January 17, 2010 "So the problem is I know this will be a shitty night, I can feel my beast rumbling and there is only one sleeping pill left in the bottle. I could take it now and quiet my mind for tonight or I could save it for a worse night."

Different night, same story. I get this itch in my head. It keeps me from sleeping. It makes me smoke. It makes me drink. It makes me want to jump off the roof. Its not a metaphorical itch, it is a twinge in the back of my neck almost. The problem tonight is the itch is still manageable, it might calm to some nicotine and alcohol. Yet I need to be asleep, I have a final tomorrow morning. This time though the sleeping pill is Oxycontin. Oh how time has passed.

November 20, 2009 "I hate myself like this."

[klh94]

For starters, I am so sorry to hear that you got hurt, that really does suck. As far as the oxycontin goes, please do us all a favor and ease our worried minds and put it away. That stuff can do some serious damage if you make a habit of it. The alcohol and nicotine, well the nicotine I can't really say anything about since I'm a smoker, but the alcohol we're too young for. You're only 19, so its still illegal. I'm not judging, I'm really not, I've experimented. But its not a healthy form of expression, as I learned the hard way. Please, if you ever need someone to talk to, shoot me a message and I'll do my best to help. But please, put the pills and alcohol away, they're not good for ya hun.