Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Why Am I Like This?

[ToGoOmniscient]

So here I am again, complaining about all my little problems, nothing new there....
Pfft.
It's kinda sad when the only person who texts me is Twitter and that's cause all the celebrities I follow, their tweets get sent to my phone.
It's kinda sad when my own sister talks about my behind my back all the time, denies it, and gets butthurt when I make one comment.
It's kinda sad that I've fallen in love three times and had my heart broken every time.
My father thinks I'm a spoiled, stupid little idiot.
My mother gets on me for evverrrryyyything I do wrong and says I can do better when I finally do things right. (Ex - did my best in honors algebra, got a 71% "Well you'll have to change that won't you?"
My own brother is a sick perverted fucktard and the things he did to me scarred me permanently.

Call me cliche if you want. This is just what I see at my school. Not saying everyone's like this.

I want to be like the pretty, popular, rich blonds who have all the friends and get new, better phone every two seconds and have the nice, hot, rich boyfriend who 'loves' her.
I want to be like the popular, smart girl who flirts her way through math class and gets As.
I want to be like the beautiful girls who go through boyfriends faster than tampons.

I don't wanna fucking be ugly, stupid, fat, emo, weird, idiot, criticized...
I wanna be pretty and popular.
I wanna be rich.
I wanna be loved.

I don't want to be me....

Cause I hate me and so does everybody else.

[Cabron]

Hey, Viktoriah. I understand how you feel--actually, I think almost everyone has at some point. It does suck to see all the so-called 'pretty, popular' girls at your school get whatever they want handed to them and have the best lives, while you're stuck with all the shitty aspects of yours.

But I want you to look around at your life and try your hardest to pick out the happy parts. It doesn't have to be anything major. For instance, in my life the things that make me happy are waking up and having my first cup of coffee with a book. That's pure tranquility right there and it costs almost nothing. Having a ton of friends, having the nicest clothes and the best phone and the hottest boyfriend...none of that really matters, in the end. Focus on what you want to do with your life in the long run. Dream big. Recognize what you excel at and let yourself be proud of that. Are you a good singer, a good writer, a good friend? Everyone has something positive about themselves, even if they don't see it at first.

The longer you focus on what you can turn your life into, the less you'll be able to focus on everyone else and what they're doing. And sooner or later, all those lovely things--like boyfriends, and friends, and new clothes--will come. But they won't hold the same level of importance as they used to and that's a good thing.

As for your family, you won't have to be around them forever. You'll grow up and 'spread your wings', so to speak, and there you go. You'll be on your own. Hold onto that thought and try not to hate your family too much, as tempting as that is. If you need a chat, I'm only a PM away. <3 Stay strong.