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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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*Jen* Offline
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Just meh.. had enough.. - March 31st 2009, 10:58 PM

So I went to uni today but because I am so pathetic and stupid I ended up in tears in the middle of the lecture so I walked out. Urgh just why am I soo soo stupid. The lecture just totally triggered me it was about loss, grief and bereavement. That kind of stuff doesn't help my head right now and just made me feel worse. I knew I shouldn't go in but I hadn't been into uni for a few weeks, because of depression and just not felt like it. Then later in seminar my tutor asked to see me and I ended up telling her how I had been feeling depressed. We had a long chat and she is being really supportive. I nearly said about the self harm but I thought I best not because I don't want to be thrown off my course. She wanted me to see a counsellor but I refused. I didn't tell her about my psych because I don't want her to know just how messed up I am. She said she is going to keep checking up on me from now on and asking to see me. I don't know whether that is a good or bad thing.

I feel like cutting at the mo. I want to give in meh.
   
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The new me will be alright
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Re: Just meh.. had enough.. - April 1st 2009, 12:08 AM

Well,

It sounds like you are ashamed for what you do. Which you shouldnt be people deal with thier issues their own way. Seeing a physc is the first step to recovering. I mean you don't have to tell your tutor right away that you self harm, but sometimes talking to someone who is not being paid to listen can actually help. Over the next few days/weeks see if she is actually someone you can trust and confide in. You never know right?

best wishes
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*Jen* Offline
keep smiling :-)
Outside, huh?
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Re: Just meh.. had enough.. - April 1st 2009, 09:16 PM

Yeah I will just see what happens. Thanks for your reply.
   
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Re: Just meh.. had enough.. - April 1st 2009, 10:47 PM

Hey sometimes when I'm having a really good day, somthing just has to come up and ruin it. It sucks because you wish to always have those good days but in the back of your mind you know there will be bad ones.
A couple days ago I stayed after with my french teacher to make up a test and I ended up telling her about my depression. I bawled my eyes out like crazy and I felt extremly guilty for telling her in the first place. She hugged me two times and told me I would get better. I guess now that I think about, I don't regret telling her about it.
So it's good that you reached out to somebody, because they might really care about your safety. Even if you're having the worst day of your life, it's better to talk it out with someone. Anyone.
I felt messed up too. Now I feel that I'm not the only one who feels like this.
hope everything goes ok! there will be better days, trust me!


"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up"

Mark Twain
   
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